I had, not quite a dream, but a vivid image of how the new year — actually new decade — could shape up for the better in our beloved NYC.
1. UES moms catch a literary break. Since “The Nanny Diaries” reared its head, the market has been flooded with tales of “‘normal’ mom moves to Manhattan where everyone in Louboutins kicks her, figuratively.” Did it, done it, read it, been there.
2. The “New Yorkers are rude” trope finally fades away. Rejuvenated by a recent Business Insider poll, the truth is the only rude people you meet are the transplants out to prove they’re tough enough to make it here (so they can make it anywhere.) Those of us born and bred here may have a rough veneer, but we also have manners.
3. We slow our smart phone roll. Staring at your cell while walking on a crowded Manhattan street, then getting annoyed when someone bumps into you, is, dare I say, stupid.
4. “Housewives” lose their celebrity cachet. By now, we all know reality TV is as genuine as the WWF, and these programs have become mere infomercials for cheap clothing lines, downtown restaurants, liquor concoctions and whatever other entrepreneurial junk these attention seekers can hawk.
5. Pro/con Trump gear is considered a fashion don’t. You talk incessantly about how he’s either not your president or he’s the second coming. We got it. Visual aids no longer necessary.
6. “Miscommunication” drops from our collective vocabulary. The word implies nothing — in a city of 8 million — is anyone’s fault, yet the person at the short end of the transgression always ends up dealing with a lingering mess created by someone else.
7. Empty storefronts no longer are the norm, putting an end to streets and avenues feeling like a walk down depression-era lane.
8. We cross the street to avoid scaffolding, because stuff falls off buildings under construction.
9. We stop attacking people who practice a religion different than our own.
10. At least one campaigning 2021 mayoral candidate can fix our city’s current situation.
11. We start seeing social media for what it is: people’s highlight reels, not documentation of their problem-free lives.
12. We don’t take for granted our NYC icons, so they don’t go the way of Lord & Taylor, Bendels and Barneys.
13. An emphasis on customer service has a resurgence, so more businesses don’t go the way of Lord & Taylor, Bendels and Barneys.
14. Starbucks and Duane Reade acquiesce that a store on every city block is overkill.
15. Madison Avenue salespeople rethink the sidewalk hustle of using a complimentary packet of hand cream as bait.
16. Citizens think twice before they douse with milk or sucker punch police officers.
17. We become more discerning about “cancelling.” Some people do terrible things and must be held accountable; others do dumb stuff, especially when they’re young when everything “seemed like a good idea at the time.”
18. Cyclists in bike lanes, and elsewhere, no longer fancy themselves participants in the Tour de France.
19. Co-op board members refrain from acting like they’re running Amazon.
20. NYC school mania dies down. I am the mother of adult children who can’t believe that in 25 years nothing has changed on the application-frenzy front. Here’s some insight: your student can go to the “right” pre-K, yet still not get into Harvard — or end up not wanting to go to college at all.
Lorraine Duffy Merkl is the author of the novels "Fat Chick" and "Back to Work She Goes."