A Selfish Dick
Every time I bring a girl out to dinner, then to the movies, they end the night saying they're too tired for sex. I put out all this money and they don't put out at all. I don't even get any head. Most of the time, all I get is a peck on the cheek and a "I had a great time. Call me."
-Broke Bobbie
You may look scrumptious, but after a burger and bucket of popcorn, what lady could put anything else in her mouth? Sex is the ultimate way to work up an appetite, not to get rid of one. Why? Because after we eat, most of our blood rushes to the gut to digest the food, making women with the loosest morals too weary to fornicate. If you fuck before you eat, all of that blood can get our genitals nice and engorged and it's easier to move around before you stuff your face. Pre-dinner sex may even increase the likelihood that she'll enjoy your protein shake.
Try to find a way to seduce them first, then go out to eat. You may have trouble getting them to go for this, so you have to promise the food and film part up front. Say, "I have to have you now baby, let's eat after." Note: this may not fly on a first date.
I have been seeing this guy for a month and we have had sex 12 times already. I love his dick-It's big and he can get it hard anytime I need it. But he has never made me cum. He's gone down on me a few times, but I could tell he isn't the best at it. I just say "Oh, forget it. Just get up here and do me." When I try to get on top so I can cum, he starts to get soft and annoyed. He has to be on top.
I'm thinking of dumping his ass. Our relationship right now is just meeting once a week for a fuck (or three). Is it mean to leave someone because they can't make you cum? I have teased him a bit about it, but seriously, I need to cum too!
-Horny Heidi
It's true that it's not always easy to get a girl to cum, but this prick sounds selfish. Having a guy with a big dick who can't-or won't-make you cum is like being a diabetic in a candy shop. Do you think a guy would stay with a woman who can't make him cum? I doubt it.
It means you two don't click properly. It sounds like you haven't fallen in love. So it won't be that hard to let go. Next time he calls and wants to know why you won't see him, quote from "Dynamo Hum," one of my favorite Frank Zappa tunes: "I got a spot that gets me hot, and you ain't been to it."
Or you could warn him nicely: "Listen, I don't seem to be able to orgasm with you, so unless we can work that out I'm afraid it's best that I move on".
Why the fuck is it that when I am taken all the women want me? When I am single, no chick comes near me. As soon as I have a lady on my arm, all the women start slipping me their phone numbers and winking at me. I feel like I am missing out on loads of pussy now that I have one.
-Pussy Blocked
Women love a taken man! It's a sure way to know if a man is worth a shit or not. If he is taken, he must be good enough to keep a female happy and support her, so the man has been "tested and screened" already. It is a survival of the fittest game. A taken man is a challenge and women love to play that "my pussy has more power than your pussy" game, which translates to "I can steal your man."
It works both ways though. No matter who I go out with, every woman in the room wants to fuck my date. He loves it, but it's crazy.
Now if your girlfriend likes all these women coming on to you, maybe you two should talk about a threesome some night. But feel her out first.
The phrase "game of love" is not a joke. It is a game, though. If you are happy with your current squeeze, just enjoy her and the attention. Don't waste time thinking about what could be. You will miss what you already have.