Back Door Men
My boyfriend wanks all the time, sometimes he is even too tired for sex with me. Can a guy be addicted to wanking, porn, or both?
A man doesn't need porn to wank. (Wank is my preferred term. It's shorter and sounds better than "jerking off"-I fucking hate that term.) Throughout their day, men gather sexy images-a hot waitress bending down to wipe the floor or cleavage they saw on the train-and store these hot images in their "wank bank" for later solitary use, or even while fucking their girlfriend to spice things up. There is nothing wrong with wanking. It's like breathing for them. You can't stop it and shouldn't try to. Don't even mention it; no one fucks them like their hand. Porn is the best invention on earth as far as men are concerned. Ninety-nine point nine percent of men watch porn. It's fine as long he doesn't leave it laying around for all to see or let it replace your sex life. You could both watch a "video" together and lie side by side and wank. Or ask him to let you watch him wank, or vice versa. If he isn't into any of that, just let him wank away. You can't compete with a man's hand and at least he is fucking his hand and not other women.
How can I get my chick to let me fuck her ass? I love anal but she won't go for it.
-Randy Roger
Watching porn girls get it up the ass leads men to believe we all secretly want it in the poop shoot. Honestly, it's a real pain in the ass, quite literally, and those eager chicks in porn are getting paid to act like they want it in there. I don't know one girl who likes anal sex (please spare me the emails telling me that you know tons of chicks who love anal). Some women do it to keep their man, to be the unique creature that does take it up the ass, secretly suffering all the while. Before I give you tips on how to convince her, let me suggest taking a dildo and ramming it up your ass repeatedly, since I wouldn't want you missing out on any of the fun. If that feels good to you, then proceed with asking her to allow you to fuck her in the ass. Make her cum first, either orally or through penetration. This will make her more tolerant, happy and loose. Roll her onto her belly and massage her butt for a while, then perhaps lick it too (hopefully she showered pre-sex). Start with your fingers and lots of lube. If she is OK with this, you are half way there. Roll her over onto her back and tell her you heard this is the least painful position for anal sex. Let her guide your cock so she has control as to how fast and how deep it goes in. Never just force yourself in there-it's super painful unless you have a dick the size of a little finger. That is the most gentle way to introduce her into anal sex, but if she doesn't want it, fantasize about it but don't push the issue. If she does go for it, know that it is really bad to go from the back door back into the front door without showering first; never bring anal germs into theÊsacred vagina.
Dot, you have helped men figure out what to do when their woman doesn't want sex, but what about when the man doesn't want sex? I chose my boyfriend because he was as into sex as much as I am. We have been together for two years and have a one-year-old child. Halfway through my pregnancy he lost his sex drive and it has never returned. He doesn't even want me to blow him. What can I do?ÊI need sex and it's hurting my feelings that he'd rather drink beer and watch TV. Would bringing him to therapy save our sex life?
-Horny Heidi
It may be hard for you to imagine this, but it sounds to me like he might be cheating on you. A lot ofÊmen cheat on their pregnant girlfriend or wife. And that doesn't mean they dump their lover(s) when the baby arrives. Something about a pregnant woman makes a man want to cheat. Look at Mick Jagger and Boris Becker-both cheated while their respective wives were pregnant. Men sometimes freak out when the reality of being together forever sets in, and pregnancy and being slightly less important then they used to be sets the stage for wanting an affair.
Men hate therapy and even mentioning it to him will drive him further away. It's Mother Nature's Catch 22 that having a baby to show a man you love him is what drives them into the arms of another, but that's how it works sometimes. Sometimes men want to think of their pregnant wife as pure and holy-basically unfuckable. It is hard for some guys to think of the mother of their baby as sexy, so you have to work at it a bit to prove them wrong. Show him you are still the hot bitch he once lusted after. All you canÊreally do is be yourself, andÊdress and act sexy around him when the baby is asleep. Or, if you have the money, get a babysitter once a weekÊ(or trade with another mom) and insist you two go out together on a date (don't call it a date, though).
Paying a baby sitter is far better than paying for a therapist, which would make him feel like you are accusing him of fucking things up. Don't even mention the word therapy, and don't talk about the change. Just do it. Dress hot when you two go out and get my secret weapon-"Hypnotic Poison" by Christian Dior. NoÊman can resist this smell. Offer him a massage after you two go out--this is the prefect way to get him loose and in the mood without being too forceful. It would be best to let him make the first move and if it never comes, you have to either accept it or move on. No one should stay in a relationship that has no touching, caring, sex or passion.