Battle Royale Of The Sexes
As you may have noticed, an awful lot of pregnant women are being threatened and killed these days. Not just in New York, but all across the country. In rare cases, they're killed by a crazy lady who wants the baby for herself. In most cases, though, all you need to do is find the boyfriend. The story of 33-year-old (and extremely pregnant) Lisa Eatmon was all over the news last week, after her body was found floating in the Hudson. Police picked up the ex-boyfriend a few days later, but he denied everything. The fact that he was suspected but never charged in the murder of his first wife isn't helping his story much.
That wasn't the only one. On March 20, a 27-year-old Williamsburg woman who's five months pregnant was threatened by her knife-wielding boyfriend. Carlos Santiago, 23, lunged for the woman with the kitchen knife, but she stepped to one side, and Santiago ended up cutting his own hand. Clearly frustrated by the technicalities of "assault with a deadly weapon," Santiago grabbed the woman's cell phone and ran away.
A few days later, Santiago's mom returned the cellphone, probably after dealing her son quite a whupping. He now faces multiple charges.
The ongoing and still creepy battle of the sexes continued in Astoria on Tuesday, when a man desperate for a woman's affection but utterly lacking in interpersonal skills strolled into the C&B Deli, approached the woman behind the counter, and began whacking off. According to the Post, when he was arrested, the man told cops his name was (ahem) "Mark Lolipflucker."
Whether you're male or female, inappropriate touching can lead to some mighty nasty results. East New York's Shar-kim Perry was arrested Monday after a March 27 groping incident-even though he wasn't the one doing the groping. A friend of Perry's who'd lost a cellphone got it in his head that Perry had stolen it. He then got it in his head that the thing to do was frisk Perry in the hopes of finding it stuffed in a sock or his underpants. Perry, not taking kindly to this, grabbed one of the (apparently several) handy beer bottles and smashed it across the man's face, ripping it wide open. The Post reports that scarface will recover, and Perry's been charged with the usual array.
Sometimes the battle of the sexes takes place by proxy. Around 3 p.m. Wednesday, a landscaper in Queens was using a machete to clear up some shrubbery when a car pulled up and a man jumped out. The man snatched the machete and began hacking at the landscaper's head. The landscaper fought back with boards and metal pipes. The fight moved from the sidewalk, through a couple of yards, then back to the sidewalk. Along the way, one of the men lost his pants. Then the attacker fled, leaving the bloodied landscaper slumped against a fence screaming "Murder!"
It wasn't though, and after receiving a few stitches, he was home again. Neighbors told police the men were fighting over, yes, the proverbial woman.