BLOTTER

Michael Hartwig strikes us as a nice guy who was just trying to help out a lady. Unfortunately, he was also a little naïve in the ways of the world, or at least in the ways of Brooklyn.

Hartwig, 64, was visiting from California, and staying in the Bay Ridge Best Western. At about 8:30 or so Monday evening, he found himself in the hotel bar. You meet the most interesting people in hotel bars. And sure enough, in strolled two young ladies. At least they were dressed like ladies.

After getting themselves settled in, one of the, um, women-43 year-old Eileen Rivera-allegedly slid her way over to Hartwig and asked sweetly if he could break a $100 bill. Always a gentleman and happy to be of service, Hartwig reached into his wallet, removed five $20s and handed them over in exchange for the Franklin.

Yes, well.

Needless to say, the women quickly left. Only then did Hartwig show the bill to the bartender, who, according to reports, informed him that it was (surprise!) a fake.

Well, gentleman or not, Hartwig wasn't going to stand for this sort of tomfoolery. So he and the bartender followed the sneaky pair into the lobby to inform them that there'd been some kind of mistake.

He stopped Ms. Rivera and her partner, 30 year-old Dwyer Lopez, and began explaining that they had accidentally given him a fake bill in exchange for his real ones, and could they please give him his money back.

If the five o'clock shadow or the thick calves didn't clue Hartwig in, the thumb in his eye probably did the trick. Thing is, Rivera allegedly jammed her thumb not just into his eye, but through it, bursting the eyeball.

Rivera and Lopez ran, but were arrested after being fingered by a 14 year-old who was hanging around outside the hotel at the time of the confrontation. Hartwig, sadly, was left with one eye.