Bring the Pain

Watching the wild card round.

Bit of a setback for the Giants Saturday, I'd say. No matter Hollander's pathetic and meandering delusions, their promising season collapsed in a 23-0 loss to Carolina.

Eli Manning made numerous mistakes, Tiki Barber was all but shut down, and the day ended with Barber and other players sniping at Tom Coughlin (who, alas, deserved to be sniped at for once). Yea, I'm thinking the Giants would like to have that one back.

Elsewhere in Wild Card Weekend, both offenses looked horrible in the Redskins-Bucs game, but Washington's defense edged out Tampa's unit for the victory, the 'Skins' sixth in a row. And in the AFC, the Patriots predictably throttled Jacksonville, while the Steelers took advantage of a grotesque injury to Carson Palmer on the opening drive of the game to get past Cincinnati.

And at some point or another, all eight of the aforementioned teams (and the four with byes) made some complaint in the media that they're "not being respected." At what point will reporters stop making that angle the centerpiece of stories? [No.-The Eds.]

As for the league's coaching carousel, Herman Edwards has moved to a slightly less-hostile fan environment, taking over in Kansas City, where the postgame press conferences will suddenly have a lot less tears and a lot more rage. Elsewhere, I for one applaud the Vikings' move to hire Brad Childress. True, he may be untested as a head coach, but Childress has the perfect personality for Minnesota, and with him in the fold, the Vikes no longer have a blithering idiot in charge. I couldn't say that about them two weeks ago.

I also admire the Vikes for bringing in someone from the Walsh/Holmgren/Reid coaching "tree," while every other team in the league will likely hire someone on the strength of their once having shaken hands with Bill Belichick.

Speaking of teams run by blithering idiots, despite the laughable record and literal insurrection by the fans, Matt Millen is still president of the Lions. Which Ford family business is in more trouble-the Lions or Ford Motor Company?

And finally, Marcus Vick was both kicked off the Virginia Tech football team and arrested for waving a gun in a McDonald's parking lot, all in the span of three days. He has "future Oakland Raider" written all over him

Looking ahead: This is what it's all about: Colts-Steelers and Patriots-Broncos in the AFC; Bears-Panthers and Seahawks a week from Sunday.

Next month's hype, now.

With two weeks of hype before each Super Bowl, we've all become used to sportswriters pounding the same few stories into the ground. Last year it was "Will T.O. play?" Three years ago, it was "Jon Gruden's old team vs. his new team." And so on.

Even though we don't know which teams will actually make it to Detroit, we can safely guess what the hype will be, no matter the matchup-other than, of course, both teams believing that they "get no respect":

Seahawks-Colts: Battle of #1 seeds; MVP Shaun Alexander vs. runner-up Peyton Manning.

Seahawks-Broncos: Battle of coaches named Mike, who were once assistants together with the 49ers.

Seahawks-Patriots: The team that drafted Drew Bledsoe vs. the team that settled for Rick Mirer.

Seahawks-Steelers: Chuck Knox's old team vs. Chuck Noll's.

Bears-Colts: Battle of teams from nearby midwestern cities, both of whom once had Jim Harbaugh at quarterback.

Bears-Patriots: Rematch of Super Bowl XX, with honorary captains Jim McMahon and Tony Eason.

Bears-BRONCOS: Jake Plummer vs. Rex Grossman, in the shakiest starting QB matchup in a Super Bowl since Kerry Collins vs. Trent Dilfer.

Bears-Steelers: Battle of teams that once employed Mike Tomczak.

Panthers-Colts: GM Bill Polian's old team vs. his new team.

Panthers-Broncos: Battle of quarterbacks named Jake.

Panthers-Patriots: Rematch of the storyline-less Super Bowl XXXVIII.

Panthers-Steelers: Battle of teams that came on late in the season to earn low seeds.

Redskins-Colts: The worst team in the playoffs vs. the best.

Redskins-Broncos: Rematch of Super Bowl XXII, also reunion of Clinton Portis/Champ Bailey trade.

Redskins-Patriots: One of the worst NFL organizations of recent years vs. the best.

Redskins-Steelers: Battle of 6th seeds.