CRIME BLOTTER
Despite what movies and TV might tell us, statistically only about .01 percent of criminals fall into the "evil genius" category.
The following stories do not involve that .01 percent. In fact, these guys would do Tim Conway and Don Knotts proud when it comes to bumbling idiocy.
On Monday, Queens resident Ference Dominguez, 22, reportedly got in a taxi and asked the driver to take him "to Brooklyn." When the cabbie asked where exactly in Brooklyn he wanted to go, Dominguez was unable to provide any more specifics. When the cabbie then told him he wasn't driving anywhere without an address, Dominguez reportedly snaked his arm through the partition and socked the cabbie right in the head.
The cabbie jumped from the car and started running, with Dominguez in hot pursuit. He chased the cabbie into the street, grabbed him from behind and threw him to the pavement. That's when the car came along out of nowhere, running over Dominguez' foot, making him forget all about the beating at hand. Witnesses grabbed him while he was still hopping about and held him until police arrived.
Criminals got even stupider on Tuesday. Here's the set-up: a married couple in Cypress Hills shared their apartment with a male roommate.
One night while the husband was at work, the roommate allegedly got some inevitable bad ideas in his head, snuck into the wife's bedroom, and brutally molested her before running away.
When the husband got home, his wife told him what happened. Now, for some reason, they knew where the roommate had fled, so the husband picked up the phone and called him. Instead of threatening him, the husband reportedly said, in essence, "Naw, everything's cool, don't worry about it-why don't you come on back?"
Now, if the husband of the woman you just raped calls and is being all friendly and asks you to come over, would you trust him?
Well, this guy did, and a short while later showed up back at the apartment, ready to move in. Amazingly, the husband didn't shoot him, stab him, or even stomp him. He merely held him in place until the police arrived. Imagine that.