Cupcake Crawl

"I've been searching for the perfect cupcake as long as I've been looking for the perfect man," declared my friend Tina one evening, "and so far I've found neither."

It's true. Where should you go for the one that melts your heart? As the frosting-covered, sweet-tooth craze continues to reign over the city, scores of new bakeries, cafes, grocery stores and even Starbucks are offering little paper-wrapped slices of heaven. 

I love cupcakes. There's something so friendly and approachable about them. Unlike its full-grown relative, the slice of cake, a cupcake is just enough, not too overwhelming, there's always frosting with each bite and like Proust with his madeleine, it brings back a little taste of childhood.

One warm Saturday afternoon last month a dozen friends and I (a baker's dozen!) launched our first annual Cupcake Crawl, cramming umpteen oversized sweets into our mouths trying to find Manhattan's best. (I'm still in diabetic shock.)

Creating the judging system was challenging. While we refrained from assigning specific grades, we evaluated the cupcake's consistency (moist or dry), frosting (the magical "frosting-to-cake ratio" and the sweetness factor) and overall taste. 

First up, Kitchenette (1272 Amsterdam Ave.), a diner meets Barbie dream kitchen that serves cupcakes ($2.50) closer to corn cakes topped with cream cheese frosting. John liked the not-rich factor, remarking, "It's not your typical cupcake."

Next came the yellow cake/chocolate frosting ($1.75-$2.75) competition between Crumbs (321 Amsterdam Ave.), Buttercup Bake Shop (141 W. 72nd St.) and Citarella (1313 Third Ave.). Unfortunately, no winners. Mandy thought Crumbs's frosting didn't taste like chocolate. "Synthetic," she barked. Tina agreed, "It's not worth the calories." Everyone thought the Buttercup cakes were good, but too dry. The frosting got high marks for creaminess. Overall, it lacked "freshness." Citarella bombed. "Tastes like sand," cringed Mandy.

Strolling down New York's "Cupcake Catwalk," Ninth Avenue, we hit one bakery after another. Cupcake Café (522 Ninth Ave.) had beautifully decorated desserts. Arden noticed cornmeal in the cake ($2.50). "They taste like healthy cupcakes, and cupcakes shouldn't be healthy," she griped. Yet she still liked that the thin layer of frosting didn't overpower the cake. 

Next was Burgers and Cupcakes (458 Ninth Ave.). The scrumptious frosting tasted like melted semi-sweet chocolate and was layered on top of perfectly moist cake ($2). Tina declared, "These are winning so far." We also sampled a cake with buttercream frosting which was even better. 

At Billy's (184 Ninth Ave.), we cut up a chocolate cupcake with chocolate frosting ($1.75), only to watch it fall apart. Normally, this is a sign of a dry interior, unable to hold its shape, but instead, the cake was incredibly rich and moist. It was so sweet I didn't know where the cake ended and the frosting began. 

Walking through Ninth Avenue's Chelsea Market (75 Ninth Ave.) we visited Eleni's ($2) and Amy's Bread ($2.50). The yellow cake from Eleni's had an aftertaste of almond that no one particularly liked. Everyone did, however, enjoy the chocolate cupcake with white buttercream frosting. Moist cake, tasty frosting. Amy's, though beautiful to look at, were a disappointment. Dean summed it up best, "Funny taste." Tina's assessment was simple, "Bad cupcake." 

Now we were off to the West Village to indulge in Amy Sedaris's delights at Bonsignour (35 Jane St.), but there were none for sale. And at Magnolia Bakery (401 Bleecker St.), the line stretched around the corner. As Yogi Berra alleged first, "Nobody goes there anymore. It's too crowded."

By this point, we all had sugar highs and were collectively experiencing a "cupcake collapse." Frankly, we'd all eaten a Magnolia cupcake before, so by a plurality of votes, Burgers and Cupcakes won. "And it was service with a smile," Tina pointed out.

In the end, the clearest lesson learned was that as much as New Yorker's love their cupcakes, you have to be in the mood. It's in those moments that you need them most that the tasty treat never fails to disappoint. I now understood why Tina equated her search for the perfect man with cupcakes. The best ones have the same qualities. A little sweet. A little rich. Soft on the inside, but they don't fall apart. And most of all, they always leave you wanting just a little more.