Dr. Dot

I never cease to wonder at the constant chorus of females hammering home how important non-penetrative clitoral stimulation is with the implication that straight copulation is totally uninteresting. I've even had a girlfriend not bother to hide her own total ennui when she deigned to consider normal coitus-after she'd already been serviced. I was grateful that your own contribution to this endless refrain was leavened by a reluctant quote from L'il Kim: "If you ain't lickin' it, you ain't stickin' it." Why, oh why then do vibrators exist? Where do they fit into the equation? And could we not work out how to arrange for men to get their satisfaction at the same time as saving batteries?

-Too Clever For Coitus

Copulation? Ennui? Coitus? No wonder your girl wants to use a vibrator, she can't fucking understand you. Vibrators make you feel like you're replaceable? That's how porn and a pet dog make most women feel nowadays (men getting their unconditional love from their four legged friend and their sex from wanking off to porn). As far as I'm concerned, dildos and vibrators are made for lesbians who crave cock but loathe having sex with men; as well as for "visual pleasure:" She bends over naked, legs apart and inserts vibrator repeatedly while he watches from the side of the bed, slightly drooling, pleasuring himself. Well, that's all I use them for anyways...NOTHING beats the real thing, my good man.

I have been dating a guy for nine months, and I really want out of the relationship. It has always been very stormy, but the sex is always hot. I want to leave him because he drinks and is unstable, but every time I talk about wanting a change, he threatens to kill himself. How will I ever get out of this mess? I have the feeling he would really do it!! -In A Rut With A Nut

Reminds me of a book I read called If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead yet? You should write a letter to him telling him it would be worse for him if you stayed out of fear and sympathy than to end your love affair. Tell him you will be there for him as a friend, but you must move on as you have lost interest in being his lover. Make a couple copies of this letter and give one to his Mom, Dad or best friend, so he gets support and the others know what's going on. If he is too weak to handle that, it's not your fault or problem. Sadly, life is really survival of the fittest and you can't save everyone (that's my job).

I'd like to know what constitutes big. My cock is 6 inches long when it's hard and pretty thick; no girl has complained, but I want your opinion please.

-Thick Nick

I am pretty sure that every man on earth has measured his cock at least once, but I have never gotten a ruler out to find out exactly how big a guy's schlong is. Some may argue with my opinion, but if it reaches the navel button when it's hard, that's big enough, anything longer and it will be poking our delicate belongings. If you can't touch your index finger to your thumb when you have them around your cock, that my friend, is called paradise. By the way, that nasty rumor that size doesn't matter was made up by a man with a tiny cock: Size does matter, but what you lack in size you can make up for with your tongue and fingers. I wish I had enough free time to measure my body parts.