Dr. Dot

I would like to know how I can capture the interest of a man. I'm divorced, a little overweight and my self-esteem is not as good as it could be. I'm so horny I can hardly stand it, but I don't want to come across to a guy as some loose whore-type. I also want the real thing since I've already worn out my vibrator. How can I get a man to like me or be interested in me?

-Desperate Ex-Housewife

First, it's vital to improve your self-image and getting into shape is the fastest way. Don't just do it to get a man, do it because it'll make you feel better, live longer and look better. Once you start feeling better in your shell, men will take notice because they can smell confidence, which is the best aphrodisiac on earth.

There are loads of ways to meet men; you just have to be in the right place for them to find you. First, think of what kind of man you want. If you don't mind a man who drinks or smokes, you can go to any bar and get laid. If you want a more stable guy, then learn to golf or take a karate class-both are usually predominantly male.

Take your pick: short skirt with no cleavage or jeans with a sexy top that shows some boob, but never do both together. It just screams, "EASY MEAT!"-in other words "desperate," which is a turn-off.

Anyone who tries too hard is a turn-off, in my opinion. I usually don't give out my secret scent, but you sound in dire need, so go splurge on Hypnotic Poison by Christian Dior. It brings most men to their knees. But go easy on the makeup-that also scares men. Oh, and I've met wonderful guys at karaoke bars; the men have talent and are outgoing, not just into beer and flirting.

I met a woman online five years ago. At first she was a nymphomaniac, couldn't get enough; so I married her three months later. Slowly our sex life died down. We had a baby and then there was no sex for a year. When we finally had sex, she got pregnant again, and now we have two kids and NO SEX LIFE. I've begged her, I've romanced her, everything: She won't budge. So, I finally met a Chinese woman at work and started an affair. For the last three months we've been having amazing sex, and she makes me feel alive again. She has to return to China and wants me to join her. I'm ready to leave my wife. I'll be sad to leave my kids, but I can't live in a sexless, miserable marriage. I just want your opinion on this: Am I wrong? -Set Free Freddy

You could be going from the frying pan into the fire. You don't know her that well, and I can tell you, most women give it their all in the beginning to lure the man into a relationship/marriage. (I said MOST, not all!) If you left your wife and two kids for her, what happens when she loses her sex drive? I would think long and hard about that if I were you. As they say, "The grass is always greener"-an old standby, but one that still holds strong. I understand having an affair, but not one that could prevent you and your children from seeing each other regularly. Women come and go; kids are forever.

Please don't scathe me, but I can't be true to a man. I always have boyfriends and cheat on them, then cheat on those guys as well. I have always done this and felt I had to confess and ask for help. I'm now 35 but look very hot for my age; most think I'm 25. I realize that soon I should have a baby and settle down but feel it isn't in me to be true. How can I change that flaw? It's raining men! I have my pick, but one is never enough. -Binging Barb

You either just love a variety of cock, or you are so afraid of being left that you keep a few going at the same time to avoid ending up alone. Perhaps you were abandoned by one of your parents in your youth or never got over your first heartbreak. It isn't fair to the guys unless you are upfront about it. There's nothing wrong with playing the field, as long as you tell them they are not the only one. When you start making them all believe they are important, then you're heading for disaster and sleepless nights. Start being brutally honest and see what happens. It could be freeing and finally show you who's right for you.

The one who's persistent enough to win you over will hopefully show you that true love does exist.

Also keep in mind, dating like you do may appear to be the safe option, but it's preventing you from experiencing genuine intimacy, the stuff all the great pop songs are about. No one can avoid heartbreak. In fact, it builds character and makes you appreciate love that much more.