Dr. Dot

I need sexual tips that will make my husband happy in bed. I am fat and this makes me very unhappy, but I still want to make my husband happy in bed.

-Chubby Cher

If you're unhappy about being "fat" then you should find time to go for fast walks as often as you can. But that's a whole different story. If you are heavy, the best position for sex is doggy style or the old fashioned missionary position. You should make him sit on the corner of the bed, with you kneeling in front of him. You can give him a titty fuck and blow him, both of which will please him, and he won't be looking at your chubby body, just your face and breasts. Many men like big women, but if it's making you unhappy, then get moving and get in shape. You will have more energy, and it will increase your sexual appetite. And most importantly, you won't be limited in sexual positions any longer. If you can't be bothered losing weight, keep in mind what Frank Zappa said, "The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'."

Is there a way to shave your pussy and not get little red, painful and itchy bumps everywhere? It's always nice and smooth the day I shave, but the next day it looks like I have chicken pox on my pussy. Please help me. I have tried everything I can think of.

If you know someone will be viewing/touching your nicely shaved areas, then wait until that day to shave. The second day is when the hairs start to poke through again, and if they get irritated with sweat, perfume or heat, they can cause red bumps. There is a lotion called Tend Skin that you can put on the freshly shaved areas after the skin dries. If you can't find Tend Skin you can soak some cotton balls with alcohol and aloe vera gel and saturate the shaved area, then let the area air-dry. Also, change your razor blades as often as you can afford to and avoid cheap razors: this is one area you shouldn't try to cut corners.

The other day my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he urinated inside of me. I was wondering what, if anything, it would do to me.

What a sick bastard. Was he too lazy to get up and piss in the toilet? It's unhygienic and disgusting to piss inside of someone else. If you start itching, you may want to drag it to the gynecologist's office. Have fun explaining that one.

I have been with a girl now for eight months. I'm a very sexual person and she also seems to be, but I am her first "boyfriend," and the first person she has done anything sexual with. But throughout our sexual relationship, she has never reached orgasm! This bothers me mainly because I think of myself as very good at giving pleasure due to my past experiences with girls-always getting them to climax in obvious gratification. I can get her moaning and squirming, but she gets to a point that seems like unbearable pleasure, and she can't go any further! I've never encountered a girl who can't bear to go on, and I often wonder if it's psychological as opposed to physical. Excuse the frustrated rant, I would appreciate any help you could give!

-Thwarted Tom

"Always getting them to climax?" Ha, ha. Sorry to be the one to drop the bomb, but "a lot" of women fake it just to get it over with. So, using the term "always" is just naive. Many women have a problem climaxing. I personally know a large number of females who can't cum with a partner, only with themselves. And I know a few who can't cum at all. I think she is just being honest; she moans and squirms when it feels good, but she doesn't fake it. Many would. Try giving her oral sex. It takes patience and time, but ask her where is the right spot and stick with it for at least 20 minutes. Don't change positions, or you'll have to start from scratch.

You should also ask her outside of the bedroom if she masturbates and, if so, how long does it take for her to cum. Since she seems so comfortable with you, talking about these things will make things in bed much better. Just because a woman doesn't reach orgasm doesn't mean she didn't enjoy you banging her. Women can have just as much fun without climaxing. It's nice, but not mandatory, as we don't have a stiff cock and bursting balls distracting us constantly. Amen.