EVENTS WEDNESDAY 9/25 Around Town A Road Once Traveled ...

Around Town

A Road Once Traveled The Central Park Conservancy pres. a history buff's wet dream, tour of Harlem Meer's strategic environs, key in seeing attackers during the American Revolution & War of 1812; meet at the Charles A. Dana Discovery Center, Central Park, 110th St. (5th Ave.) 212-860-1370; 3, free.

Wednesday Night Skate Avoid the crowds?skate after dark! NY recreational skate group moves in giant swarm through Central Park, Union Square, across Brooklyn Bridge & more; meet at Union Sq. N. (17th St.), 212-696-7247; 8, free.

Family

Bird Watching Ever wonder where birds go after visiting Manhattan & where they came from? Learn about bird migration through careful observation & informative bird watching; Robert F. Wagner, Jr. Park, Battery Park City (Battery Place & West St.), 212-267-9700; 7:30-9 a.m., free [repeats Thurs. 12-1:30].

"ARTifacts: Kids Respond to a World in Crisis" Memorial exhibition feat. 75 works incl. drawings, photos & musical recordings created by tri-state area students in reaction to the events of September 11th; the Center for Arts Education Gallery; 180 Maiden La. (Front St.), 212-971-3300; 9-5, free [repeats Thurs.-Fri., Mon.-Tues., through 12/31].

Film/Video

"Depression Funnies: Comedies from the Early 30s" Month-long series screens sneak peek at The Front Page, today at St. Agnes Library, 444 Amsterdam Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-877-4380; 2, free [through 9/25].

"Directors from the Edge" showcases careers of influential Nordic directors. This week: Jan Troell's As White as Snow (2001) & The Emigrants (1970); Scandinavia House, 58 Park Ave. (37th St.), 212-879-9779; call for times, $8 [through 12/18].

"The Films of Jacques Becker" Nine-film retrospective for eclectic director Jacques Becker (1906-1960) continues this week at BAM Rose Cinemas, 30 Lafayette Ave. (Ashland Pl.), Ft. Greene, 718-636-4100; call for times & complete sched., $9 [through 9/29].

Mike Leigh Writer/director of Naked, Secrets & Lies, Career Girls & Topsy Turvy speaks at screening of his latest?All or Nothing; American Museum of the Moving Image, 35th Ave. (36th St.), Astoria, 718-784-0077; 7, $15 (members only screening).

The New York Independent International Film & Video Festival Annual showcase of feature-length movies, animations, shorts & documentaries continues at cinemas around the city; 212-777-7100 or www.nyfilmvideo.com for locations, times, prices & complete sched. [through 9/27].

Siddhartha Newly restored print of Conrad Rooks' 1972 film from the novel by Hermann Hesse continues screening today (hey, it beats the shit out of Little Buddha); Anthology Film Archives, 32 2nd Ave. (2nd St.), 212-505-5181; call for times [through 9/29].

The Trials of Henry Kissinger Kissinger, that bloated, hard-drinking womanizer, is taken to task by Christopher Hitchens, that bloated, hard-drinking?the point being HK is both attacked & defended for his conduct during the Vietnam War by a bevy of bureaucrats & talking heads in this new documentary; Film Forum, 209 W. Houston St. (Varick St.), 212-727-8110; call for times & prices [through 10/8].

"William Wyler" 35 mm classics from the studio era, incl. The Little Foxes, Roman Holiday, The Best Years of Our Lives & Funny Girl, screen over the next four weeks for the 100th anniversary of this Hollywood director; Film Forum, 209 W. Houston St. (Varick St.), 212-727-8110; call for sched. & prices [through 10/10].

Lectures

Pro Logo vs. No Logo Naomi Klein, author of No Logo: Taking Aim at the Brand Bullies, debates Sameena Ahmad, author of a refutation to Klein's book, Pro Logo: Why Brands are Good for You; Ethical Culture Meeting House, 2 W. 64th St. (Central Park W.), 212-595-0273; 6:15, free.

"Writers Live "Jonathan Franzen reads from his acclaimed novel, The Corrections; Memorial Hall, Pratt Institute, 200 Willoughby Ave. (Clinton Ave.), Bklyn, 718-636-3537; 7, free.

Readings

David Boring Daniel Clowes' graphic novel tries to live up to this intriguing title at Village Barnes & Noble, 4 Astor Pl. (betw. Lafayette St. & B'way), 212-420-0816; 7:30, free.

Featurewell.com celebrates its second anniversary w/an evening of literary nonfiction incl. Justin Kaplan, Anne Bernays & Andy Borowitz at the Roger Smith Hotel, where, according to their website, "creators, critics and other assorted characters meet, mingle and?" are you ready for this? Oh, fuck it, you never could be: "exchange energy"; 501 Lexington Ave. (47th St.), RSVP feature11@featurewell.com; 7:30, free.

John Farley My Favorite War writer reads at New York's real Filthy McNasty's; Rocky Sullivan's, 129 Lexington Ave. (betw. 28th & 29th Sts.), 212-725-3871; 8, free.

Food for Thought Weekly readings by actors w/light sandwich lunch?very literary, dahling. Today: Some Kind of Love Story by Arthur Miller; National Arts Club, 15 Gramercy Park S. (20th St.) 212-475-3424; 1, $38.

Rohinton Mistry Author of A Fine Balance reads from latest, which Booklist calls "as close to perfect as a novel can get"; Asia Society, 725 Park Ave. (70th St.), 212-517-ASIA; 6:30.

National Museum of the American Indian Celebrates New York is Book Country w/readings all week at 1 Bowling Green (Whitehall St.), 212-514-3700 or www.nyisbookcountry.com call for complete sched.

Workshops

Elements of Nature Drawing Free lunchtime instruction in pencil, charcoal, watercolor & pastel; Battery Park City, Robert F. Wagner, Jr. Park, Battery Pl. (W. Side Hwy.), 212-267-9700; 11:30-1:30 [through 10/30].

Health Issues Anonymous Twelve-step program for those living w/health concerns; St. Luke's, Roosevelt Center, 324 W. 108th St. (betw. B'way & Riverside Dr.), 212-362-7214; 5:30, free.

Oriental Face Reading: Insights into What the Face Reveals Learn what your face says through emotional, physical & spiritual tendencies; McBurney YMCA, 215 W. 23rd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-431-7724; 7-8:30, $20.

THURSDAY 9/26

Around Town

Access to Essential Medicines EXPO Doctors Without Borders profiles five patients suffering from diseases that cause 14 million unnecessary deaths in poor countries across the world. Meet w/field volunteers & staff to find out more & how you can help their cause; Union Square North, 17th St. (betw. B'way & Park Ave.), www.doctorswithoutborders.org; 9:30-6:30, free [repeats Fri. & Sat. at Prospect Park, Bartel Pritchard Circle, 15th St. (Prospect Park W.) & Sun. at Union Sq.].

Beauty Seminars w/Vincent Longo Famed makeup artist closes fashion week by personally introducing his fall makeup collection, the Odyssey line. Each two-hour seminar feat. insight on latest trends, wearable runway looks on models ages 20-40 & 40-minute makeovers?plus guests receive Vincent Longo product; Sephora Times Square, 1500 B'way (betw. 43rd & 44th Sts.), 212-944-6789; 11-1 p.m.; Sephora, 34th St., 130 W. 34th St. (betw. B'way & 7th Ave.), 212-629-9135; 3-5 p.m.; Sephora Flatiron, 119 5th Ave. (betw. 17 & 18th Sts.), 212-674-3570; 6-8 p.m.; $100 redeemable for Vincent Longo product.

Deluxe Beauty's Fresh & Flirty in 15 Minutes Makeup artist Jillian Fink Dempsey (Patrick's wife) introduces her fall line & oversees 15-minute makeovers w/Deluxe Beauty's lip, eye & cheek colors, sharing application tips & tricks, as you sip on champagne?plus the first 100 attendees receive a free Deluxe Beauty makeup bag; Sephora Soho, 555 B'way (betw. Prince & Spring Sts.), RSVP 212-625-1309; 1-7, free.

Family

Afternoon Chess Teens who haven't succumbed to the allure of Grand Theft Auto 3 can learn strategy in a more constructive way Thursday afternoons through the end of October. Chess in the park is free & lessons are also available Mondays for a $56 fee; Nelson A. Rockefeller Park (Chambers St.), 212-267-9700; 3:30-5:30.

Film/Video

"David Bowie: Sound + Vision" Five-part screening celebrates 30th anniversary of The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust & the Spiders from Mars. We're currently on episode five, which incl. "Jump They Say!" & "Little Wonder" videos; Museum of Television & Radio, 25 W. 52nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-621-6800; 6, $6 [repeats Fri. at 7, Sat. & Sun. at 4, Tues. at 2, through 9/29].

Lectures

Jiri Boudnik Discusses "Visual Communication at Ground Zero" exhibition & pres. visual tools he developed to help w/rescue & recovery efforts; Czech Center New York, 1109 Madison Ave. (83rd St.), 212-288-0830 x109; 7, free.

China's Ancient History Morris Rossabi, professor of history at Queens College & the Graduate Center of CUNY, explores the influence of traditional Chinese practices, such as foot-binding & arranged marriages, on modern Chinese culture; American Museum of Natural History, Central Park W. (79th St.), 212-769-5200; 6:30-8, free.

An Evening in Celebration of Natalia Ginzburg Novelists Lynne Sharon Schwartz & Peg Boyers pay tribute to one of the most remarkable Italian writers & personalities; Makor, 35 W. 67th St. (betw. Central Park W. & Columbus Ave.), 212-601-1000; 7:30, $15, $12 adv.

Readings

Clara Callan Richard Wright reads from tale of two sisters. Kicking off the night are readings by David Gilmour & Michael Redhill, who are listed below; Barnes & Noble, 2289 B'way (82nd St.), 212-362-8835; 7:30, free.

David Gilmour From Publishers Weekly: "Self-absorbed, prone to paranoia and obsession, enamored of young women and fine wine, Darius is the brilliantly constructed protagonist and coolly lucid narrator of this new, excellent novel [Sparrow Nights] from Canadian writer Gilmour (Lost Between Houses)"; Barnes & Noble, 2289 B'way (82nd St.), 212-362-8835; 7:30, free.

Michael Redhill Amazon.com: "When Martin Sloane, Toronto poet and playwright Michael Redhill's first novel, appeared in Canada, it made headlines for its decade-long gestation through 12 complete drafts. In an age when many blockbuster novels read as though they never saw an editor's pencil, Redhill's stamina and ruthless self-appraisal were enough to make him newsworthy?Martin Sloane proves that hard work pays off. Long live revision"; Barnes & Noble, 2289 B'way (82nd St.), 212-362-8835; 7:30, free.

This Just In: Victoria Redel & Gary Lutz celebrate the paperback editions of Loverboy & Stories in the Worst Way at Housing Works Used Book Cafe, 126 Crosby St. (betw. Houston & Lafayette Sts.), 212-334-3324; 7, free.

Where Do We Go From Here: 9/11 and the Future of American Grand Strategy Yale's John Lewis Gaddis, Cold War historian, comes to the Social Sciences Library, 5th Ave. (42nd St.), 212-869-8089; 6:30, free.

FRIDAY 9/27

Around Town

DOGNY Forget cows, New York has gone to the dogs thanks to the American Kennel Club's public art program marking the one-year anniversary of 9/11 by placing sculptures of Search & Rescue Dogs throughout the city incl. at the 17th Police Precinct, 167 E. 51st St. (betw. 3rd & Lexington Aves.); www.DOGNY.org & 866-DOGNY-911 [through November].

Tavern on the Green's Oktober Fest Bash Strap on the lederhosen & grab that freebie straw Jagermeister hat in celebration of the fall harvest & an 1810 royal Munich union feat. German-influenced buffet dinner, Beck's Oktoberfest brew & dancing w/the beats of the Edelweiss Orchestra; Tavern on the Green, Central Park W. (67th St.), RSVP 212-873-3200; 6-9, $59, $29 dancing & drinks.

Fall Book Sale feat. adult literature, nonfiction books & library discards?plus instructional videos at bargain prices; Donnell Library Center, 20 W. 53rd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-621-0619; 10-5, free [repeats Sat. 10-4].

Family

Crafts Kids can express their creative side through various arts & crafts projects; Aguilar Branch, 174 E. 110th St. (betw. Lexington & 3rd Aves.), 212-534-2930 res. req., 3:30, free.

Fall Book Sale Much like the listing above, but for kids?special editions, poetry, illustrated, fairytales & music; Donnell Library Center, 20 W. 53rd St. (5th Ave.), 212621-0636; 10-5, free [repeats Sat. 10-4].

Lectures

Project on Media Ownership As part of the Fall 2002 lecture series, Robert McChesney & John Nichols speak about their forthcoming book, Our Media, Not Theirs: The Democratic Struggle Against Corporate Media; Farkas Auditorium, NYU Medical School, 505 1st Ave. (33rd St.), 212-998-5015; 7:30.

Urban Independent Marjetica Potrc (architect & artist) & Bunker Roy (founder & director of the Social Work Research Center) discuss alternative approaches to shelter & housing development in today's cities; Lighthouse International, 111 E. 59th St. (betw. Park & Lexington Aves.), 212-753-1722; 6:30, $10.

Readings

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Apt. 3W Gabriel Brownstein reads at Barnes & Noble, 2289 B'way (82nd St.), 212-362-8835; 7:30, free.

The Tuli Show Teach Yourself Fucking, 1001 Ways to Live Without Working author/"the funny bone of the Fugs" reads at Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery (betw. Bleecker & Houston Sts.), 212-614-0505; 7, $5.

Workshops

The Art of Being Human: Shambhala Training Level 1 Gain a strong foundation in mindfulness/awareness meditation in this class directed by John Baker, co-founder of the Naropa Institute, the only Buddhist University in North America; Shambhala Meditation Center of NY, 118 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-662-4433; 7:30-9:30, $150 [repeats Sat. 9-6].

Tai Chi Battery Park City hosts free weekly class at Esplanade Plaza, Liberty St. Bridge (Church St.), 212-267-9700; 8:30 a.m., free.

SATURDAY 9/28

Around Town

Bronx River Golden Ball Join Take a Walk, New York! for fourth-annual celebration of Bronx River w/river walk (accompanies canoe excursion) through the Botanical Garden, Zoo & city streets?bring lunch; meet at 219th St. (White Plains Rd.), Bronx, below #2 El train, www.WalkNY.org, 212-379-8339; 9:30, free.

A Day for Your Health Integral Yoga pres. daylong holistic health event w/author appearances, book signings, vitamin store consultations, food tastings, cooking demos, mini beauty treatments, hourly raffles, lectures from Dr. Alan Pressman, Manu Dawson & Dr. Rudolph Ballentine; Integral Yoga Institute, 227 W. 13th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-929-0585; 9 a.m.-8:30 p.m., free.

Drum Along the Hudson: A Native American Festival All are welcome for day of authentic music, dance & sports incl. Mohawk iron workers myths & stories, traditional crafts & foods, herb hunt & "tree of peace" planting w/the Mohawk Singers & Dancers, the Onondaga Smoke Dancers, the Akwesasne Women Singers, medicine woman Jan Longboat, Elder Tom Porter & Urban Park Rangers; Inwood Hill Park (218th St.), 212-627-1076; 11-6, free.

Oktoberfest '02 East 84th St. Neighborhood Assoc. pres. 26th-annual Oktoberfest in German Yorkville. Authentic Bavarian band, beer & wurst, baked goods, petting zoo & arts & crafts, jewelry, clothing & plant vendors featured?proceeds help maintain the neighborhood; E. 84th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 11-6, free.

Second-Annual Harlem Renaissance Farmers Market Harlem Renaissance Economic Development Corp. pres. flowers, handcrafted soaps & local farm-fresh produce?plus music to shop by; Lenox Ave. & Malcolm X. Blvd. (betw. 111th & 112th Sts.), 212-932-2141; 8 a.m.-4 p.m., free [through 12/20].

Taken Experience We are not alone! The Sci-Fi Channel pres. interactive sensory extraterrestrial exhibit feat. UFO abduction stories, astronaut testimonials, artifacts & evidence?plus broadcast a message into space; South St. Seaport, Piers 16 & 17, Fulton St. (South St.), www.scifi.com/taken; 10-9:30, free [repeats Sun. 11-8].

Family

Fabulous Fall Storytime Celebrate fall w/exciting stories about autumn, leaves & more; Scholastic Store, 557 B'way (betw. Prince & Spring Sts.), 212-343-6166; 11-12 & 3-4, free.

Harvest Time Hangings Make fall decorations w/materials provided by mother nature; Kerlin Learning Center, Wave Hill, W. 249th St. (Independence Ave.), 718-549-3200; 1-4, $4, $2 st./s.c. [repeats Sun.].

International Folktales Enjoy an evening of three short films based on folktales from around the world; Socrates Sculpture Park, B'way (Vernon Blvd.), LIC, 718-956-1819; 6-8, free.

Storytelling in the Park Children of all ages encouraged to hear classics in enchanting setting?Central Park. David Elyha & Diane Wolkstein read from The Nightingale & The Most Incredible; Hans Christian Andersen statue, Central Park, 72nd St. (5th Ave.), www.centralparknyc.org; 11, free.

Willie Perdomo reads from his book Visiting Langston, for children ages 4-8, followed by a reading of his favorite poems for children 8 & up; Children's Museum of the Arts, 182 Lafayette St. (betw. Broome & Grand Sts.), 212-431-7920; 2-5, $5.

Film/Video

"All About Eves: A Celebration of Wicked Women, Femme Fatales, Scheming Starlets & Heartless Hussies" Today's double feature: Truffaut's The Bride Wore Black (1968) & Joan Crawford in Mildred Pierce (1945); Symphony Space, 2537 B'way (95th St.), 212-864-5400; call for times & prices.

"Great 20th Century Fox Westerns" Today: William A. Wellman's The Ox-Bow Incident (1943). Stars Henry Fonda, Anthony Quinn; Cine-Club, YWCA, 610 Lexington Ave. (53rd St.), 212-735-9717; 4:30, call for prices.

In Cold Blood Cinematographer Conrad Hall hosts an "in-depth discussion" after screening at American Museum of the Moving Image, 35th Ave. (36th St.), Astoria, 718-784-0077; 7, $40 [repeats Sun.].

The Secret Life of Hernando Cortez Want to see just how fucked up the Warhol crowd really was circa 1968?especially when Andy wasn't around to play mystery tour director? John Chamberlain's ultra-lo-budget, ultra-sloppy, totally improvised & very funny mess of an hour-long film screens tonight at Anthology Film Archives, 32 2nd Ave. (2nd St.), 212-505-5181; 7:30 & 9 p.m., $8, $5 st./s.c.

Lectures

Do You Need a Guru? Mariana Caplan, writer, anthropologist & counselor, discusses new book in which she responds to the questions of spiritual authority; Sufi Books, 227 W. B'way (betw. Franklin & White Sts.), 212-334-5212; 2, $7.

Readings

Finnegans Wake Has anyone visited the "Irish Memorial Monument" downtown by the Hudson? Think Cathy scanning madly for Heathcliff across the moors (okay that was England but we think you'll agree later the metaphor is appropriate). Then, today, think some guy reading Joyce in the background?girls, boys?everybody's happy!; Battery Park, Hudson River (Vessey St.), 917-563-4177; 12-3, free.

Writers with Drinks Is there any other kind? Not for Charles Anders (The Lazy Crossdresser), Nick Mamatas (Northern Gothic) & Co. (Rick Moody will have a coffee?weak, please); Remote Lounge, 327 Bowery (betw. 2nd & 3rd Sts.), 212-228-0228; 6, $3-$5/sliding scale.

Workshops

Aggressive Inline Skating Grind your soul on the ramps & rails at Battery Park City?beginners & advanced skaters welcome; Battery Park City, North Esplanade (Chambers St.), 212-267-9700; 2:30, free [through 10/31].

Drawing in the Park Artist/educators Louise Johnson & Larry Dobens instruct & critique students working in pencil, pastel, charcoal & watercolor; Battery Park City, South Cove, W. Thames St. (Rector St. Bridge), 212-267-9700; 10:30-12, free [through 10/26].

Exploring Memoir Gotham Writers' Workshop pres. Kyle York Spencer, author of She's Gone Country: Dispatches From a Lost Soul in the Heart of Dixie, for an evening of reading, reflection & q&a w/wine & cheese; the Casablanca Hotel, 147 W. 43rd St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 212-204-5411; 5-6:30, $15.

SUNDAY 9/29

Around Town

Big Brother is Watching Surveillance Camera Outdoor Walking Tours reveal the frightening abundance of cameras that monitor public spaces. This week, monitoring the masses at Times Square; meet at South end of Duffy Sq., 46th St. (betw. B'way & 7th Ave.), 212-561-0106; 2, free.

East Manhattan Chamber of Commerce Benefit Festival Twenty-block festival of arts & crafts, demos, food & merchandise from over 700 vendors?plus two stages of live entertainment; 3rd Ave. (betw. 66th & 86th Sts.), 646-230-0489; 11-6, free.

Ecofest 2002 Seminars, workshops, healthy food, music, & environmentally friendly products are featured during afternoon festival at Riverside Park, Promenade, Riverside Dr. (betw. 83rd & 91st Sts.); 212-465-7215; 11-6, free.

Fast & Fabulous Cycling Club Join NY's lesbian & gay cycling club & pedal to the Kensico Dam, then to Rye Playland for a late (2:30) oceanside lunch?helmets are required & rain cancels the trip; meet on 4 train platform, Woodside (last) stop, Bronx, 212-567-7160; 9:45 a.m., free.

Firefighter Stephen Siller's Tunnel to Towers Run Honor the fallen heroes during 5k walk/run, which traces Siller's fateful path from the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel to WTC on 9/11?proceeds benefit the NYC Firefighter Burn Center & the Stephen Siller/FDNY, "Let Us Do Good" Children's Foundation; IS 142 (Henry St.), Red Hook, info www.tunneltotowersrun.org; 10 a.m., $40.

Native Harvest Festival Sixth-annual celebration of America's native cultures. Activities incl. storytelling, dance & music from Bobby Gonzalez, the Drum Circle Singers & Matoaka Little Eagle?plus exhibits, vendors & native crafts for children; Van Cortlandt House Museum grounds, Van Cortlandt Park, B'way (W. 246th St.) Bronx, 800-201-PARK; 12-4, free.

Walk-a-Thon to raise money for affordable housing. Afterwards hear performances by Wyclef Jean & Antibalas Afrobeat Orchestra; Central Park, East Meadow, 97th St. to Riverside Park, 800-379-9268 for info.

Family

Uproarious Autumn Enjoy works of art by Cadence Giersback, David Chow & Patricia Miranda; Glyndor & Wave Hill House Galleries, Wave Hill, W. 249th St. (Independence Ave.), 718-549-3200; 1-4, $4, $2 st./s.c.

Film/Video

"All About Eves: A Celebration of Wicked Women, Femme Fatales, Scheming Starlets & Heartless Hussies" Today's double feature: Frank Sinatra, Janet Leigh & Angela Lansbury in The Manchurian Candidate (1962), plus Faye Dunaway, Jack Nicholson & the convincingly evil John Huston in Roman Polanski's classic: Chinatown (1974); Symphony Space, 2537 B'way (95th St.), 212-864-5400; call for times & prices.

The Secret Life of?Anthology Film Archives "Films, videos & other strange emissions by the workers, friends and lost souls who orbit the celestial AFA"; 32 2nd Ave. (2nd St.), 212-505-5181; 10:30.

Readings

Frequency Soft Skull Press celebrates new store w/new reading series. Today, Shannon Holman & Prageeta Sharma; Soft Skull Shortwave, 71 Bond St. (State St.), Bklyn, 718-643-1599; 2, free.

New York is Book Country "Lunch with literary luminaries" incl. Michael Chabon (!), Robert Lipsyte, Hari Kunzru, Peter Jennings (?), Alice Sebold & Scott Turow; Waldorf-Astoria Hotel, 50th St. (Park Ave.), 888-NYT-1870; 12, $120.

Sunday Night Fiction Series continues w/Mark Costello, aka John Flood (Bag Men, Big If)?"Costello may well be the literary discovery of the season," the press release reads. Well then, better call Mrs. Barkham down the road & order more scones to KGB (oh, and Freddie Leebron?Six Figures, In the Middle of All This?will be there too, we expect), 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-505-3360; 7, free.

Unorganicized Reading High school seniors smile in smug self-satisfaction during this open reading at ABC No Rio, 156 Rivington St. (betw. Suffolk & Clinton Sts.), 212-254-3697; 3, free.

Workshops

Aggressive Inline Skating Grind your soul on the ramps & rails at Battery Park City?beginners & advanced skaters welcome; Battery Park City, North Esplanade (Chambers St.), 212-267-9700; 2:30, free [through 10/31].

MONDAY 9/30

Around Town

The Great Match 2002: Wine & Tapas Annual event feat. innovative tapas prepared by six city chefs & over 200 red, white & sparkling wines, plus Sherries from Spain; Regent Wall St. Hotel, 55 Wall St. (betw. William & Hanover Sts.), 866-402-5950 for info, RSVP www.greatmatch.org; 5:30-8:30, $70, $60 adv.

Yoga With free classes popping up everywhere, incl. this one for early birds taught by Joan Coddington, there's no excuse for being yoga-phobic. Comfy clothes & a towel are a must; 6th & B Garden, 6th St. (Ave. B), 212-982-5673; 7 a.m., free.

Family

Advanced Art Instructor Miki Iwamura teaches free weekly course in Battery Park City for "skilled artists" (ages 10-18). Participants apply drawing & painting techniques to still-lifes & landscapes. Practice sculpting skills & participate in projects such as printmaking & t-shirt design?BYO Bedazzler; Nelson A. Rockefeller Park (Chambers St.), 212-267-9700; 4-5:30, free.

Lectures

Funny Business Dave Barry reveals how he parlayed a sense of humor into Miami Herold column; CUNY Graduate Center, 365 5th Ave. (betw. 34th & 35th Sts.), 212-686-5005; 7-8:30, $10, free for students.

If These Walls Could Speak An intimate, behind-the-scenes tour of American Folk Art Museum's new building, while closed to the public, w/architects Billie Tsien & Tod Williams?reception follows; American Folk Art Museum, 45 W. 53rd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-265-1040 x102; 6:30, $25.

Readings

The Bitch in the House No, it's not the new tell-all from Rosie O'Donnell's lover, it's a riff on the Virginia Woolf quote "angel in the house," and an apparently amusing tell-all by several successful female authors who also wear the mommy apron. Watch for a crowd you either find confounding or comforting, depending upon your age; 92nd St. Y, 1395 Lexington Ave. (92nd St.), 212-996-1100; 8:15, call for price.

Julia Cameron Author of The Artist's Way appears at Lincoln Triangle Barnes & Noble, 1972 B'way (66th St.), 212-595-6859; 7, free.

Jeffrey Eugenides & Jonathan Franzen (who you gotta love for defying Oprah?even if it was because he's a pseudointellectual snob) read at 92nd St. Y, 1395 Lexington Ave. (92nd St.), 212-415-5500; call for times & prices.

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People London-based journalist Toady Young signs copies of book about his job & life in NYC, then takes questions from the audience, which presumably won't pertain to his nobler efforts; Chelsea Barnes & Noble, 675 6th Ave. (21st St.), 212-727-1227; 7, free.

Powder It's the same old story in Liverpool, and in Kevin Sampson's second novel: sex, drugs & rock 'n' roll; the Half King, 505 W. 23rd St. (10th Ave.), 212-462-4300; call for time, free.

TUESDAY 10/1

Around Town

Get Up "Lifted" w/a 15-minute mini-facial w/beComing's new line of products. All customers receive a three-day sample; the Avon Salon & Spa, 725 5th Ave. (betw. 56th & 57th Sts.), 212-755-2866; 10-6, free [repeats daily through 10/15].

Kate's Paperie Holiday Boot Camp Give the holidays a touch of Martha Stewart by learning Kate's special methods of gift-wrapping & the how-tos of personalized cards, washi egg ornaments & paper decorations?plus enter the drawing to win 100 custom-printed cards; Kate's Paperie, 561 B'way (betw. Prince & Spring Sts.), 212-941-9816; 6-8, free.

Pure Country NYC Weekly country stomp & music night w/DJ Alan Kohn, line dance lessons courtesy of Rona Kaye; Jack Rose, 771 8th Ave. (47th St.), 212-247-7518; 6:30, $13.

Tuesday Night Trivia It's probably not as fun as Comedy Central's Beat the Geeks, but prizes do incl. $10-$25 bar tabs; Baggot Inn, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-0622; 7:30, free.

Film/Video

"Fear & Furry"?uh, we mean fury! What else could we mean when announcing the sendoff to this Fritz Lang festival: tonight, The Big Heat (1953), in which, according to the film's original tagline, "a hard cop" meets "a soft dame"!; BAM Rose Cinemas, 30 Lafayette Ave. (Ashland Pl.), 718-636-4100; 7:20, 9:30.

Lucky Bum Film Tour Oregon-based "media artists" (gosh!) Bill Daniel & Vanessa Renwick grace us w/their presence (incl. video installations, films & photography) at Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277; 9:30, $5.

"Neo-Noir: Another Shade of Darkness" Fifteen features by French filmmakers, incl. Julien Duvivier, Michel Deville & Claude Chabrol. This week: Les Voleurs (1997), directed by Andre Techine & starring the beautiful, distant & very French Catherine Deneuve; the French Institute's Florence Gould Hall, 55 E. 59th St. (betw. Madison & Park Aves.), 212-355-6160; 12:30, 3:30, 6:30 & 9, $8 [through 12/17].

Operation Fine Girl: Rape as a Weapon of War Documentary reports on the over 500,000 rape survivors of Sierra Leone's past war-torn decade, as well as the nonprofits offering them assistance, representatives of which will be on hand at 304 Barnard Hall, Columbia University, 117th St. (B'way), 212-854-2037; 7, free.

Lectures

Breaking the Cycle: Homeless Families in New York Today The number of homeless families in city shelters has risen steadily. Can a solution be found? Find out tonight at Milano Graduate School, Wolff Conference Room, 65 5th Ave. (betw. 12th & 13th Sts.), 212-229-5418; 10 a.m.-12 p.m., free.

We the People: The Immigrant History of Manhattan Slide lecture about immigrants entering America through New York harbor from the first Dutch settlers to those of the early twentieth century; Science, Industry & Business Library, 188 Madison Ave. (betw. 34th & 35th Sts.), 212-592-7000; 5:30-7, free.

Readings

The Bitch in the House Cathi Hanauer shakes it for the easily-coerced college crowd at Village Barnes & Noble, 4 Astor Pl. (betw. Lafayette St. & B'way), 212-420-0816; 7:30, free.

Irvine Welsh's Porno Gen-Xers, all for the sequel to Trainspotting, bum-rush Union Sq. Barnes & Noble, 33 E. 17th St. (betw. B'way & Park Ave. S.), 212-253-0810; 7, free.

Jennifer Weiner, who has bravely, if not wisely, opted out of exercising her right to a nom de plume, reads from In Her Shoes: A Novel at Lincoln Triangle Barnes & Noble, 1972 B'way (66th St.), 212-595-6859; 7, free.

Wittgenstein's Poker: The Story of a Ten-Minute Argument between Two Great Philosophers Authors David Edmonds & John Eidinow chat w/Simon Winchester (The Professor and the Madman, Krakatoa: The Day the World Exploded) while Anglophiles of both sexes throw lace panties at these BBC employees; Barnes & Noble, 2289 B'way (82nd St.), 212-362-8835; 7:30, free.

Workshops

Light on Form Create more dimensions in your drawings by learning the scientific method of lighting; NY Botanical Garden, 200th St. (Southern Blvd.), Bronx, 718-817-8747; 6:15-9:15, $59.