Felix & Oscar

Photographers need to realize that some people just really, really don't like having their picture taken, even if a friend's behind the camera. Woody Goodridge, a bartender at the Cornerstone Pub in Brooklyn, learned this around 2 a.m. Sunday morning. He was off duty, hanging around snapping pictures of the crowd who'd come to see Money Shot play. When his camera ended up pointed in the general direction of his pal Frankie, Frankie was none too pleased. He pulled a gun and shot Goodridge in the face. The bullet tore through his cheek, leaving "a hole the size of a bottle cap," but didn't do too much other damage.

Frankie apparently felt pretty bad about what happened, but not bad enough to stick around until the cops showed up. He was arrested on Thursday.

"If at first you don't die, try, try again" seemed to be the motto of a 54-year-old Bronx grandma with no sense of timing. Her bumbling efforts to snuff it caused trouble aplenty at the Union Sq. subway station Monday morning. Around 10, she sat down on the edge of the platform, dangling her legs over the tracks, waiting for the 5 to show up.

Well, you give the motorman that kind of warning, they're gonna hit the emergency brake and stop in plenty of time. Having blown that chance-and having screwed up the 5 line for a while-she got to her feet and scampered all about the station looking for another train to jump in front of.

She found her way to the downtown 6 tracks, and actually jumped this time. But she jumped way too soon, once again giving the motorman plenty of time to throw the emergency brake. Then he got out of the train, helped her back up to the platform, and made sure she was taken somewhere where she could get the help she needs.

Professional asshole Derek Gibbs, 43, set his briefcase down inside an East Flatbush grocery store Monday morning, blocking the doorway. When a customer asked him to move the briefcase so he could leave, Gibbs ignored him. When the request was repeated, Gibbs began screaming vulgarities and threatened the man. When a store employee stepped in, Gibbs' tirade was merely redirected. According to the Post, the asshole then stepped outside and grabbed a couple bricks, which he sent flying through the store's front window. The employee asked Gibbs to, you know, stop throwing shit through the windows, whereupon Gibbs responded by whacking him with a cane. Police soon arrived and charged Mr. Charming with criminal mischief, assault and resisting arrest.

And this should be a lesson to all of you who think living like The Odd Couple is wacky and cute. Richard Anderson, 43, and his roommate (aka "Felix and Oscar") lived in a third-floor apartment in Crown Heights. While the comedic possibilities of arguing over who should clean the place up were certainly there, in the end Anderson just pulled a knife and stabbed his roommate in the chest, killing him. How's that for wacky and cute?