Get 'em adopted!

Wondering why the cover story of last week's New York magazine didn't have anything to do with the cover? Some smart editor bothered to read Adam Sternbergh's "Up With Grups," and decided that it would be too embarrassing to try and run with the conceit. The article's high point is in the headline's tribute to Star Trek-and even then, Sternbergh has to cover his tracks by proclaiming it to be a "nerdy reference." You know, so he won't look uncool.

That's a big crime in Sternbergh's world. According to the author, there's a big revolution going on in New York parenting. Apparently for the first time in history, really cool parents (read "trendy") are raising their kids in really cool ways (read "idiotic").

Sternbergh illustrates this point in the grand New York tradition of talking to friends of friends. Nobody needs to read another article about how the hipster wormhole continually turns in on itself at an increasingly quicker pace. The New York article is strictly laughable as it tries to create a trend about parents raising their kids without having to act like parents.

In truth, there's nothing unique about parents playing Death Cab For Cutie or The Strokes for their kids. New York could've just as easily-and might have-published

an article in 1970 about the new breed of cool parents who were making their kids listen to Joni Mitchell and James Taylor. Pity the children, though. Neal Pollack is actually quoted as taking pride in how his 3-yaer-old likes The Hives. Yeah, that's keeping the tyke on the cutting edge of 2001. What none of these parents want to admit is that little kids are just kids and will naturally share their parents' taste. Little kids are also cool enough to like Laurie Berkner better than They Might Be Giants. And, not to brag, but my own little monster was into Cheap Trick and early Commodores before he even turned 2. I've got some really cute video that I can show you, if you'll wait a minute. Hey, come on, I've got it right here. Where are you going?