He Showed Her Who's "Crazy"!
While recently it's become a year-round event, for the purists among us, machete season doesn't really start until late spring-as Robert Whitley will attest.
At about 3 a.m. Thursday, April 28 (according to the Post), Whitley stopped a man in Cobble Hill and demanded money. Then, to show that he meant business, he whipped out his machete.
The man, hoping to avoid a good hacking, handed Whitley $80. Whitley fled, but was captured a short time later by cops who only had to look for "the guy with the machete."
If you're convinced that your boyfriend's dangerously insane, maybe it's better not to tell him so-even if you think you're in a safe place.
The same day as the machete incident, Jacob Santiago and his girlfriend were outside the Brooklyn Supreme Court Building (whether they were going in, coming out, or just passing by was unclear). That's where she told him that she wanted to break up with him, adding that she thought he was nuts.
To show her how wrong she was, he stabbed her in the head and neck with a pen and beat her unconscious right there in front of the courthouse.
She was taken to the hospital and "Mr. Sane As Can Be" is being charged with the usuals.
Though he may have been the only one, Brooklyn DA Charles "Joe" Hynes was shocked to learn last week that customers could purchase drugs and sexual favors inside a Sunset Park topless joint. Police raided Sweet Cherry on Monday after a six-month sting operation, arresting four employees, including the owner and two strippers.
Perhaps the most shocking discovery of all, according to Hynes, was that the bartenders at the club were seen by investigators actually siphoning no-name liquor into top shelf bottles, then overcharging patrons for it!
On Tuesday, Steven Baptichon, 27, was arrested after a Flatbush man, 56, spotted him on the street. See, back in March, the man (for reasons "unknown") allowed Baptichon to crash at his apartment. Unfortunately for him, Baptichon took "crash" literally. The younger man awoke about 6 a.m., according to the Post, and decided it was time for his host to get up, too. Instead of tapping him on the shoulder or gently saying "Hey, it's time to make a pot o' joe," Baptichon grabbed a handy coffee table and began beating the older man with it.
It sure did the trick. It also broke three of the man's ribs. Then Baptichon grabbed a bunch of things-including a hair trimmer-and fled.
And our Stupid Criminal of the Week, hands down, is 20-year-old Marcos Germosen. Around 6 Wednesday morning, he stepped outside the Happy Endings club on the LES and fired up a joint. Well, two cops happened to be passing by at the time and called attention to the illegality of what Germosen was up to. The fuzzy-minded Germosen, instead of accepting the obvious, inquired whether they might let him go if he gave them $600. They wouldn't.