Hollander vs. Sullivan
HOLLANDER: Everything changed after Denver.
After Denver, the offensive line saw what can happen if they give Eli Manning that extra second in the last seconds. Now they don't mind him backpedaling and drifting left, because they believe he'll get it done. In the NFL, belief equals blocking. For his part, Manning displays an icy poise that belies his youth and bespeaks his lineage. He gets exponentially better with every snap. Plaxico Burress, Amani Toomer and Jeremy Shockey have the best rock-star names in pro football, and they're also the NFL's best receiving trio. Double-team one of them, and Manning finds the others. Burress is the Harold Carmichael of this millennium, and Tiki Barber is the LaDanlian Tomlinson of the NFC. And both know their way to a Super Bowl.
After Denver, Wellington Mara died. But he didn't leave the Giants. I see a spark in Osi Yumenyiora's eyes and a ferocity in his play that certainly wasn't there in Denver. Just like Warren Beatty in Heaven Can Wait, I'm convinced that the soul of Well Mara lives in the body of the suddenly unstoppable Giants defensive end. Sure, C.J., be a non-believer. Yet, even a spiritual anorexic like you must acknowledge that there are forces at work here far greater than the feeble machinations of head coaches and shallow opinions of sportswriters. You must see that these Giants are transmogrified, imbued with profound purpose.
Don't anger the gods, C.J.
SULLIVAN: Dave, through the years, we have covered many sporting events together. We have worked locker rooms side by side and never was I suspicious of your love for athletes-until recently, that is. I found out that in your bedroom you have a framed photo of Tiki Barber shot from the rear hanging over your Walt Frazier waterbed. Then this Halloween, you dressed up as Nicole Simpson. That's just plain disturbing.
You like the Giants because they bring out the metrosexual inside of you. Fine, Dave-it's about time you came out of the metrosexual closet. But you fumble in your thought process as much as the reigning king of all metrosexuals-Tiki Barber-does when he gets hit hard.
This team of Giants will fade in the second half like a Dick Barnett jump shot. Tom Coughlin's rah-rah tough-ass Jesuit style coaching lasts only so long with this team of overrated players. Barber, Shockey, and Strahan are merely good, not great players. And they have no desire or balls to take over the locker room because of a lack of field cred with the other players.
Honoring a dead Irish bookie's son will only take them so far. In late November and early December, when they get the Eagles, Seahawks, Cowboys, Eagles and Chiefs five weeks in a row, they will fold like a punk-ass poker player. Super Bowl? Not even a wild card spot this year. Sorry Dave, your tailgating days end on December 17th at the last Giants home game versus the Chiefs.
HOLLANDER: C.J., your ipso facto reasoning leaves gaps wider than the one between Michael Strahan's two front teeth. The Giants will blow through their schedule more easily than you blow through a stack of lad mags.
The Giants have not, and will not lose at home this season. When Dallas comes to Giants Stadium in Week 13, they'll meet a different team than the Week 6, pre-Denver Giants. Philly is in disarray, spiraling toward collapse. And we all saw what Big Blue did to Washington, who poses no threat for the rematch. Plus, few teams wilt at the end of a season like Mike Holmgren's Seahawks except ? er ? Kansas City.
Winning the NFC East will secure the G-men valuable home field advantage at least until the NFC Championship. By then, Michael Vick's painfully active herpes will disable him and the Falcons. That leaves Carolina, whose baby-soft schedule includes epic battles with New Orleans (twice), Detroit, Arizona, Buffalo and the Jets. They're not for real.
Scheduling logic aside, the Giants excel at two key positions characteristic of all Super Bowl teams: tight end and kicker. Jeremy Shockey is the NFL's best tight end. He has, in fact and without complaint, bought into Coughlin's system, which requires him to do more run-blocking then he likes. His teammates respect his sacrifice and play harder alongside him because of it. Kicker Jay Feely scores a lot of points with outstanding accuracy. See: Vinateri, Adam and Norwood, Scott on the importance of kickers in post-season play.
Lastly, some advice for you: (1) stop taking NFL tips from Ron Jaworski and (2) keep your perverse fantasies about me and your celebrity heroes between you and your jar of Crisco. Airing it in the pages of a popular New York alt-weekly is ineffective therapy for you, and embarrassing for all of us.
SULLIVAN: Dave, you two-timing slut. I always knew about your fascination with Playboy's Barbie Twins, but then I found out it was really the Barber twins that you desired. Now you drop those two and run into the arms of Jeremy Shockey. It must be his new butch haircut and tattoo.
But back to football. Tight ends win Super Bowls? You're mad! Smart quarterbacks who make few mistakes and superior defenses win Super Bowls. See Namath and the Jets, Bradshaw and the Steel Curtain, Montana and the 49ers, Simms, Hostetler and the Giants, and the most recent incarnation of this magic fusion-"Opie" Brady and the fierce Patriots defense.
Yes, Dave, a good tight end-a subject you seem well-versed in-is an invaluable weapon, but it will fall on the shoulders of Eli Manning and the defense to pull these Giants along. Now that the J-E-T-S are D-O-N-E, the Giants are the only game in town. The Giants have broken more hearts than Angelina Jolie, so getting my hopes up for this team is not easy.
As for kickers, they do play a big role, and the Giants have made great strides in that department. You forget how invaluable punter Jeff Feagles is to this team. Feagles kicking teams deep into their own red zone may be the best saber of the Giants defense.
Still, while Jay Feely is a very good kicker, Jay Feely is also no Adam Vinateri. And what's with your gratuitous swipe at kicker Scott Norwood, who blew the 1990 Super Bowl for the cursed Buffalo Bills by missing the goal post by six inches? If he hits that field goal, the New York Giants have no Super Bowl win and Vincent Gallo doesn't make one of the best indie films of all time, Buffalo '66. Let us take a moment and praise Scott Norwood. Wandering the earth trying to put that 1990 debacle behind him, he is more like us than any Adam Vinateri or Jay Feely.
The Giants, unfortunately, will only see the 2006 Super Bowl on their wide-screen TVs. But for once, Hollander, I am rooting for you to be right. The Giants-like your argument-are flawed. But even a broken clock is right twice a day.