Hype Stalker

Woe betide movie makers that stiff The New York Post when it comes to new movie screenings-or lack thereof. In one of the strangest non-movie reviews ever, today the Post published the following: "The horror flick 'See No Evil' opens today but is not reviewed because the distributor did not provide advance screenings for critics, which usually means a bad movie. V.A. Musetto's review will appear in tomorrow's Post." Brrrrr! Talk about issuing media threats! Did readers really need to know that the Post and the distributor aren't cozy? And while the logic the passage offers about movies that don't screen early is usually true, since when did it become okay to essentially call a movie trash just because your reviewer couldn't see it? Finally, the last line, "...Musetto's review will appear in tomorrow's Post..." sounds more like the last words delivered before a terrorist strike-a message meant to instill fear and dread in the proposed target.

Predictably, in the same issue, the Post's Page Six smears the director of the film by saying, "Lions Gate is hiding the sleazy porn past of the director of its new horror flick See No Evil, which opens today, without advance screenings, starring wrestler Kane? there's not a single word about his 13 years of grinding out ultra-raunchy XXX fare..." Ouch! But the fun doesn't stop there. For giggles, we tried to find a photo of Musetto for this piece, but when you type his name into Google Image Search (safe search off) all you get is a bunch of raunchy porn pics! Is there something we don't know about the surly critic? The irony is, suddenly we really, really want to see See No Evil.

The drumbeats of war are rumbling louder as the media hawks begin to focus in more and more on every move John McCain and Hillary Clinton make. A simple speech at The New School and the subsequent heckling by students seemed to raise the blood lust of New York reporters dogging the senator's every step. The fact that New School President, and former Democratic senator, Bob Kerrey took the opportunity to passionately admonish his students for the heckling appears to have gone unnoticed-like most of what Kerrey says. Meanwhile, the newswires are so starved for something, anything, about Hillary's White House plans that her iPod music list has suddenly become big news. Among the senator's favorites are: Aretha Franklin's "Respect," (subtext: Yes, I'm a feminist despite the whole blowjob forgiveness thing); The Eagles' "Take It to the Limit," (subtext: If you think I'm 'not' running for Prez. you're out of your mind); and U2's "Beautiful Day," (subtext: Yes I'm shrill, waffling and hated by even Susan Sarandon, but look at this winning smile!).