Is this healthy?

Q. My wife and I have been married for about 10 years. We are healthy, happy and have a good sex life, though after 13 years together, we have at times hit some dry spells. We've come out of them fine, though, as we have turned up the dirty talk, fantasy sharing and even the occasional strip club (her call).

Recently, in the middle of sex, she told me something that I hadn't imagined. Before meeting me, she had basically two boyfriends and with the one before me, they taped three of their sex sessions....and she had kept the tapes (she wouldn't let him take them...good move in retrospect).

She asked me if I'd like to watch with her as she hadn't seen them since basically we started dating (in college). At first, I didn't think I could take it, but we ended up watching and we had mind-blowing sex. Seeing her as a 21 -year-old having very graphic sex with her then boyfriend was incredibly arousing. I don't think I could have handled this years ago, but since we trust each other and have a good marriage, I was able to manage the jealousy I felt and allow the raw sexual feelings to surface. We've watched them now about six or seven times, and they haven't gotten old.

Is this healthy? We both feel a bit weird afterwards, but the sex is great and I notice she orgasms multiple times and more intensely than watching other porn or through straight sex. Anybody else deal with this before?

Peeping Tom

A. Watching it once in a while is fine, but something tells me she is starting to get hooked on it, especially the fact that she cums harder and more often then with other porn. Maybe she is thinking of him when she fucks you, who knows. If you are enjoying the sex and no feelings are getting hurt, then why not? I think when porn becomes a regular feature in a couples sex life, as in, more often then not, there is something lacking. Once in a while it's HOT andprobably standard, but if it's all the time and becomes a needed tool, what's next? Will you both need that to get off? Maybe it makes her hot seeing herself at age 21, as in "look how fucking hot I used to be." Fantasy is important and healthy, but having it on a video tape is a different story. Would she like to watch you bang a 20 -year-old ex girlfriend over and over again?

Don't suggest it anymore, see how often she suggests watching it and then decide if you can handle it or not. If it starts to bother you, you'll have to take a stand and tell her "enough is enough" and throw the "would you like to watch me bang a 20-year-old ex?" her way, but then there is always that chance she says "yes!". I think she doesn't want to let go of her past; her young body and hot ex-boyfriends. Peter Pan Syndrome goes porn ? You might as well enjoy it until it starts to piss you off.

Q. I've been married for four years and separated for about a year now. One of the biggest reasons for the separation is that we had no sex life ? none whatsoever!!! I have been living with a Japanese girl for the past seven months, and our sex life is incredible! I'm telling you, this girl is almost perfect (at least to me).

My problem is; although everything is so good between us I can't stop wanting my wife (sexually). I truly believe that it's over between us (me and my wife). However, now she wants to give me all the sex I want. I have been sleeping with her when I go to pick up my son. I know this is wrong. But I think that because I wanted her for so long, I'm jumping at every opportunity. What do you do when you're with somebody but love someone else and know that you can't go back to the one you love?

A. "I'm in love, I'm all shook up"-we've all been there buddy. It's called having your cake and wanting to eat it too. Sometimes putting the 'forbidden' spin on a stale sex life makes it hot as hell again.I'm not sure if your wife knows about your current status, because if she does, that could be why she is suddenly so wet for you again (her competitive side has perked up and she is using her pussy to lure you back). Next time you fuck your wife, you know, those moments of clarity after a good shag, where you just lie around for a few minutes, ask her straight out if she wants you back or just wants to be a fuck buddy. If she wants you back, you may have to say goodbye to your Asian girl, and there is no better excuse then "My wife and I are going to give it another try." If your wife just wants you as her fuck buddy, you could always juggle the two (I can already hear the anti-cheat hate mail pouring in as I type this) but then again, just because you love one person, doesn't mean you have to hate the rest.