Little Italy's SCO Offers the Best Cosmetics; The Sega Dreamcast's the Choice for Virtual Ass

| 16 Feb 2015 | 04:55

    SCO 230 Mulberry St. (betw. Prince & Spring Sts.), 966-3011 Very few women age well without working at it. Human evolution seems to reward men for aging. We get better looking as we get older, probably because young men take stupid risks and Nature, in her wisdom, wants the survivors to reproduce. Then again, it might just be gravity.

    At all events, it's no surprise that women tend to be obsessed with skin-care products. Go into a single guy's bathroom, what do you find? Toothbrush, toothpaste or powder, floss, shaving stuff, maybe a little cologne or aftershave, deodorant, a hair brush. Single guys' bathrooms tend to be like single guys' kitchens: very basic, Spartan affairs.

    Single gals, on the other hand, tend to have a extraordinary range of skin-care products around. Creams, masks, exfoliants, moisturizers, all manner of esoterica related to keeping the skin youthful and fresh.

    There's quite a buzz building around Theresa Ma's SCO, on Mulberry St. She opened on April 28, and I started overhearing women talking about it on May Day. It's always a good idea for a single man to pay attention to what women are interested in, so I wandered down to check this place out.

    The place is beautiful, bright and clean without appearing clinical. The SCO product line begins with 18 core products ranging from purifying cleansers to an antioxidant booster. The core products are top-of-the-line formulations derived from Ms. Ma's extensive research into the skin-care research curve. She takes a refreshingly empirical approach to a subject that has historically been overwhelmed with voodoo and quackery.

    The real beauty of SCO is the unique individualized approach to skin care. Any one of the 18 core products (except the oil-free SPF 30 face shield) can be customized to individual need with the help of an SCO consultant. The client simply describes problems or desires and the consultant assists in determining which of 22 pharmaceutical-grade infusions should be added to the mix to achieve optimum results. These infusions range from traditional skin-care options like aloe vera, vitamin A and avocado oil to more recent innovations like algae, parsley and soy. Each personalized product is then labeled with the client's name, infusion selection, date of infusion and expiration date.

    Take it from me, boys: there are few better ways to express your longing for her flesh than by taking an interest in its health and well-being. After you treat her to a few of these magnificent products, you can treat her to a round or two at the nearby Shark Bar, and then it's all up to you to make the right move at the right time.

    Alan Cabal


    Byte Me High-Tech Lowbrow

    Sega Dreamcast, $199 Software Etc. 1120 6th Ave. (44th St.), 921-7855 Claire Redfield is stunning. Not only does her ass perfectly fill out her tight jeans, but her breasts jiggle in such a delicate way that you know there's no chance she's got implants.

    Claire Redfield. With her straight reddish-brown hair, tight belly and milky-smooth skin. She's 100 percent woman.

    And 100 percent mine to control.

    Too bad she's also 100 percent fake.

    And that's about the entire story with Sega's newest video game and Internet console, the Sega Dreamcast. Originally launched a few months back, this 128-bit white square box, which reads special CD-ROMs, may very well be the best fantasy/pornographic generator of all time. Sure, you can play all sorts of cool games on it, like Crazy Taxi, Timestalkers, Chu Chu Rocket and Ready 2 Rumble Boxing. All solid games. All fun.

    But the Dreamcast was made for Resident Evil, Code: Veronica, Dead or Alive 2 and Tomb Raider 4. Games with chicks. Chicks with oh-so-perfect breasts and asses. Just watching these virtual girls breathe heavily is a turn-on.

    The Sega Dreamcast is currently the fastest game system available here in the United States. What that translates to is the best possible graphics ever seen on a home system. While you can still tell that the characters in these games are digital dummies, the line between reality and fantasy is blurring.

    Take Lara Croft, for example. Never has she looked as real as she does in Tomb Raider 4: The Last Revelation. The way her tight tanktop hugs her 38-DDs and her hiphugging explorer shorts show off that fine female crevice is enough to give old Bob Dole or Rudy Giuliani a boner without the Viagra. Who cares that thick-lipped brother-loving Angelina Jolie has been cast to play Lara in an upcoming film based on the video game? The real thing is better any day.

    The real thing being the fake thing.

    Then there's 18-year-old Kasumi. With a ponytail down to her ass and breasts as succulent as fresh cantaloupes. Or 23-year-old Tina. A blonde pro wrestler with an obsession for showing off her tight white panties when she fights. Both are playable in Dead or Alive 2, which is supposed to be a fighting game, but that works much better as a pixellated peepshow.

    But I'm losing myself in virtual ass here. The Sega Dreamcast, for the most part, is a very well made gaming and Internet system. With four controller inputs in the front of the unit, this machine was made for death matches and road-racing. With use of the VMU, or Visual Memory Unit?which costs an extra $25?you can save your games to a small machine that looks like a mini Game Boy and take them anywhere. You can even play mini-games on the VMU, separately from the Dreamcast.

    Then there's the modem that's built into the damn thing. With use of a CD-ROM that comes with the system, and a 32-foot phone line that also comes with the system, you can hook directly up to the Internet. There you can send mail, surf Web pages and even download saved games and cheats to make your Dreamcast experience more exciting. Of course, you may want to purchase the optional keyboard, which would make typing a zillion times faster.

    The biggest question on most gamers' minds about the Sega Dreamcast doesn't involve the modem, the speed of graphic processing or even the games' playability. The big question involves Sega itself. Given the downfall of the Sega Saturn a few years back and the rise of the Sony PlayStation, people are wondering if Sega will be able to compete with the other gaming companies. Especially this fall when the PlayStation Two hits the stores. So far, when it comes to the fun level of the games, Sega's certainly showing it can and will keep up?but given the rumors that Sega will soon drop its price down to $149, one is still left to scratch his head.

    But not me. I'm stroking my dick.

    George Tabb