Beach reading for NYC moms

While some may be reading the season’s best-sellers, moms counting the days until Labor Day when the private school admissions process begins might want to delve into a different kind of beach reading — and I’m not talking about Victoria Goldman’s “The Manhattan Family Guide to Private Schools.”

Get a glimpse into the world you are about to enter with novels old and new about the over-the-top hijinks some parents will go to in order to snag a coveted seat for their children. Even though some of the stories were written over a decade ago, they’re still relevant because, really, nothing much has changed from twenty years ago when my son was ready for Pre-K.

You might want to think twice before discounting the following as merely fiction:

1. “The Ivy Chronicles” by Karen Quinn (2004)

Park Avenue mom Ivy Ames loses her high-powered corporate job and her marriage and goes into overdrive trying to come up with a new way to support her two daughters. Instead of looking for job, the marketing executive creates one for herself: helping upscale New Yorkers get their kids into the most exclusive kindergartens in the city. Boy, will she be sorry.

2. “Small Admissions” by Amy Poeppel (2017)

What happens when Kate Pearson, a summa cum laude slacker, is forced by her more practical sister to get a job? She lands one in the admissions department at the revered Hudson Day School during the thick of the admissions season, or what her colleagues refer to as “the dark time.” Kate interviews Park Avenue parents who refuse to take no for an answer, have perfected the art of the subtle bribe and aren’t afraid to make outright threats. Hey, a girl’s gotta pay the rent some way.

3. “Admissions” by Nancy Lieberman (2005)

The circus has come to town in the form of admissions day in NYC. The Tuesday after Labor Day marks the beginning of the city’s most competitive and vicious blood sport: getting kids into private school. Because of her connections, Helen Drager thought her daughter Zoe was a shoo-in. But when her admissions officer BFF is no longer in a position to assist, Helen has to step up her game before Zoe might end up in a (gasp) non-uniform school.

4. “Momzillas” by Jill Kargman (2008)

How to get into the only pre-preschool that counts as well as where to buy the must-have $300 toddler dress. This is the advice New York transplant Hannah Allen gets from the not so well intentioned Upper East Side mothers for whom success is measured in precocious achievements, jam-packed schedules, and elite private-school pedigrees. Before you can say “first choice letter,” the innocent and down-to-earth Hannah finds herself caught up in the competitive world of high-stakes mothering. The Bravo original series “Odd Mom Out” starring the author was based on this book.

5. “The Nanny Diaries” by Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus (2003)

The grandmama of them all introduced us to Mrs. X, the Park Avenue mother for whom Valium was created because this woman is wound tighter than her Rolex. She didn’t work, cook, clean or raise her own child, therefore had nothing but time to get her son into the private school of Mr. X’s choice. When the boy gets wait-listed, the way the spouses go head-to-head makes the dynamic between Nanny and Mrs. X look like Cinderella and her fairy godmother.

Other books in the genre: “Schooled,” “Posh,” “Prep,” “The Mothers of Country Day,” “Mrs.,” and “Primates of Park Avenue.”

Lorraine Duffy Merkl is the author of “Back to Work She Goes,” about a SAHM who tries to re-enter the workforce.