Mad Mad Libs

LAST YEAR AT this time, the city announced that it was beefing up security during Ramadan out of fear there would be, for some reason, a terrorist attack sometime during the holiest month on the Islamic calendar. They also told us to expect attacks during Christmas and Easter, but Ramadan made everyone particularly antsy.

And here we go again. It's Ramadan, and the city has announced it's beefing up security yet again. But this year is different. Instead of fearing that They would attack Us, the fear is that We might attack Them.

That's right-fearing some sort of radical and dramatic bias crimes against Muslims, the NYPD has increased security around area mosques.

What's funny is that if you take one of this year's stories-say the 1010 WINS story from last Wednesday-and simply exchange a few words and phrases, you can turn this year's warning into a warning that would've been suitable 12 months ago.

It's fun and easy! Let's try!

OCT. 13, 2004:

Mayor Michael Bloomberg said Tuesday the city will beef up security at [mosques] and other [Muslim places of worship] during Ramadan, warning that [bias crimes] will not be tolerated.

Though Bloomberg and Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly said that the city has not received any specific threats of [violence] directed at [Muslims], some [members of the Muslim community] fear they might be the focus of [attacks and harassment]-in part because of the U.S. war in Iraq-during Ramadan, which starts Friday.

"With the holy month of Ramadan upon us, we are committed that you can [observe it peacefully]," said Bloomberg. "As long as I am mayor, we will have absolutely no tolerance for [intolerance]."

Kelly said the department will increase patrols outside [mosques]; dispatch plainclothes officers and heavily armed officers around [Muslim holy places]; and increase outreach between the Muslim community and police department.

AND, PRESTO-CHANGO:

Mayor Michael Bloomberg said Tuesday the city will beef up security at [the Statue of Liberty] and other [city landmarks] during Ramadan, warning that [acts of terrorism] will not be tolerated.

Though Bloomberg and Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly said that the city has not received any specific threats of [attacks] directed at [God-fearing, red-blooded Americans], some [city residents] fear they might be the focus of [terrorist attacks]-in part because of the U.S. war in Iraq-during Ramadan, which starts Friday.

"With the holy month of Ramadan upon us, we are committed that you can [go about your business] peacefully," said Bloomberg. "As long as I am mayor, we will have absolutely no tolerance for [terrorist hijinx]."

Kelly said the department will increase patrols outside [the Stock Exchange]; dispatch plainclothes officers and heavily armed officers around [the Empire State Building and other landmarks]; and increase outreach between the Muslim community and police department.