Making Happy Men

My man keeps complaining that our sex life is getting boring. I'm worried that he will start sniffing around. I know that he has been going to strip clubs. I am willing to try anything to get him hot again; rock his world. I have tried renting porn for us and wearing sexy undies, what else can I do?

-Fran

It's a full time job coming up with new ideas on to entertain the boyfriend, but oh so fun. They go to strip clubs because these girls play. Men love to play. Next time you have a place to yourselves, get a mirror and prop it up against a wall. Tell him to sit in a stool near the mirror with his pants off. Once you are naked, kneel on down and blow him like he has never been blown before, while he watches your pussy in the mirror (make sure the lighting is nice and he has a great view). If you want to get creative, you can finger yourself or use your favorite dildo. Get busy and creative-it leads to fun, which he should be getting at home, not in clubs.

I've been married almost 10 years. I love my wife dearly (and she loves me), but her sex drive is gone, and I mean gone. In the beginning we had sex constantly, but now it's pity sex on her end, and only when she can tell I can't take it any longer (sometimes months at a time of nothing).

She's 42 and I'm 36. She got pregnant eight months after we met. We now have an eight-year-old and a six-year-old. Everything was great until the second pregnancy. I almost had an affair then as we were very distant from each other.

Since then it has been years of up and down. She has gotten so pissed off at my sexual needs she has actually told me to go fuck other women, just don't tell her about it, though later she admitted she didn't really mean it.

We've tried marriage counseling and I've tried everything on the planet to get her in the mood. She has tons of excuses to make me feel like I'm being way too sexually demanding, but it's not like I decided to torment her with this. I just have raging hormones, more than when I was a teenager. She doesn't kiss (never really did) never instigates anything, is boring in bed and only goes beyond quicky sex if I demand it. She's usually on her side with me behind her spooning so it's less work for her. I masturbate daily to relieve my hormones and to take the pressure off us.

Conversations lately have turned to divorce as she feels she just isn't the person for me despite how much we love each other. I've even talked about extreme measures like annulling the marriage to take that pressure off things, but she has balked at that and says if it comes to that she'd rather just leave.

This all just seems so fucked up, and I'm running out of hope. I love my wife and children and do not want a divorce, so how can I either get my hormones under control or help her get her's back? I think we are both at extreme ends of the spectrum and we need some help getting back to a middle ground. I've heard Ecstasy is prescribed by marriage counselors to get people to open up. Perhaps something like this may allow us to get in touch with each other again? The one time I took it recreationally, it seemed like it could have that effect.

-Raging Mike

Believe it or not, I get tons of these letters from frustrated husbands, who are starved from sex and only get the occasional "60 second spoon fuck" to shut them up. People seldom say things they don't mean, at least a little. She told you "go fuck other women," just be discreet about it. Finding out would hurt her, which is why she said "I didn't really mean that." I am sure I will get a fair amount of hate mail from the ladies after this, but you have no choice really but to shag around.

Think of it as just exercising with other women. (Taking Ecstasy is not the answer, drugs never are). I am sure everyone is aware of the fact that most men cheat, it's in their nature and nothing anyone can do about it. Everyone has their own definition of cheating. Being true to the heart but cheating physically seems to be the most harmless definition. You've tried everything; it's either have a lover or a divorce. If you divorce, chances are that sooner or later, your new lover may grow tired of screwing you as well, so why not have the best of both worlds? Try your hardest to not get caught-never give out your phone number or address and be up front about it to your lover "This is just fun and I mean that". Avoid needy, clingy single women (think Fatal Attraction).

Life is too short to miss out on sex. Most importantly, you must be true to yourself and if you are a horn dog, then be one and be proud about it. Just be clever and try not hurt anyone.