Mr. Loudee: Public Enemy #4

Despite the fact that noise has consistently topped the list of "quality of life" complaints registered by New Yorkers, Mayor Bloomberg, Mr. "Quality of Life" himself, has just as consistently ignored the issue. Instead, he's chosen to focus his energies on other so-called "quality of life" problems that never seemed to bother anyone until he made them priority number one. Hell, he even vetoed a city council ban on car alarms in order to avoid inconveniencing drivers.

With an election season getting underway, though, it was clearly time for him to at least make the appearance of trying to do something.

That's why it was no surprise to see that it was business as usual (i.e., pretty pointless) last Wednesday, when the mayor's long-overdue proposals to crack down on noise were taken up by city council's Environmental Protection Committee.

The committee focused on what to do about several glaring noise problems: barking dogs, construction sites, loud air conditioners and that notorious threat to sane New Yorkers everywhere, Mr. Softee and his catchy jingle.

The way it sounded on the news, this would seem to make sense. Of the estimated 20,000 noise complaints phoned in to 311 operators every year, a combined 65 percent were aimed at those four sources.

Weird thing about those statistics, though. Yes, people do complain about dogs and construction sites-even Mr. Softee trucks-but none of them are what most people complain about. In fact, none of those four are even in the top 10, according to a December 2004 report released by Baruch College & the Council on the Environment of New York City.

Most people-as we can all pretty well guess-complain about (in this order) honking horns, car alarms and car stereos. Traffic noise in general is up there, too, as are motorcycles, sirens and delivery trucks.

Yet the only vehicle the committee is concerning itself with are the Mr. Softee trucks-which came in 12th on the list (after construction sites but before dogs).

Does this make any sense at all?

Only if you keep in mind that Bloomberg has traditionally bent over backwards to keep drivers happy, regardless of the cost to the rest of us.