No Time for Games
I have to decide between two guys. One is "Mr. Right". He has loads of cash, a big house, pays all of my bills and adores me, but heÊis crap in bed and bores me. The other one is amazing in bed. I mean fireworks! But he has no financial security. He is a struggling musician/comedian and barely makes ends meet, but he makes me laugh so hard and like I said, he rocks my world sexually. I am 30 and need to think about my future. None of my girlfriends give me good advice, so what do you think? Mr. Right or the one who does me right?
There is no "Mr. Right", there is only "Mr. Right Now." Women tend to go for the one with the safety net, which is similar to picking out the strongest mate in the wild, but we are no longer in the wild and can fend for ourselves. Just as men gravitate towards young ample-breasted ladies, women go for the secure man. However, if he bores you and can't satisfy you in bed, you will be unhappy and could end up cheating on him. Follow your heart and if there isn't enough cash to go around, it will just motivate you to work harder and there is nothing wrong with that. Life is too short to stay in an unhappy relationship, no matter how good the benefits are. Take the one who makes you happy right now, as the present is all we really have.
I have a crush on my best friend. He and I have been friends for four years and I introduced him toÊa girl I knewÊsix months ago and now they are an item and he even tells me he loves her now. I am not the type to try to break up a couple, but this is driving me insane. She treats him like shit, but he still brags about her. She is jealous of me and makes it clear that she is not happy when he and I meet up. This is a nightmare come true. I want him, I love him, how can I get him to be with me, not just as a friend?
-Desperate Dana
There is nothing you can do, or should do, except continue being his friend. Trying to "get" a man or make him yours is, in my opinion, stupid. NoticeÊhow sperm pursue the egg? They go to the egg, they hunt the egg. The egg doesn't fucking chase the sperm. Keep that in mind when in doubt. Just let him know you adore him and are there for him when he needs to talk.
Meanwhile, let other men take you out. This is good practice and who knows, you may even fall in love. When your friend finds out you are dating, it may trigger off something in him that makes him think, "I better move my ass or I will lose my chance with her." There is the chance he doesn't feel that way about you, and since you said you have been just friends for years, I think waiting for him may be a mistake. If he can't live without you, nothing will stop him from trying to win you over.
The fact that "she treats him like shit" and he still stays with her shows that he likes a challenge. Perhaps you weren't a challenge for him. I am not saying you should treat him that way. I am simply thinking you should get busy and that will make you more of a challenge. It could also be that he likes to be treated like shit, as some folks do. Some feel strange when a person is too kind to them. Maybe they feel they don't deserve such good treatment, but that's a whole other story. That's the "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' theory" but who the hell has time for the games?
I just met a gorgeous, talented girl, and we are hitting it off good. I love her face, personality and almost everything about her. We have a lot in common (both karaoke addicts, both non-smokers, both love to laugh, etc.) but (oh, there' s a big but here), she has a huge ass. And I don't mean J.Lo style. We had sex last week and I was lost in her ass. I am a small guy and felt overpowered. She is big all over and I just didn't enjoy all that flesh. I'm wallowing in self-loathing for being so shallow. She is gorgeous but huge, at least twice my weight. I had a nightmare of her on top.
-Jones to the Z
Most girls slim down once they are in love. Notice I said 'most' and not all. Some use ice cream and chocolate (better than beer and drugs) when they are single and lonely. When they meet a man and feel love creeping up on them, they eat less and make a bigger effort to get in shape and be sexy for their new guy. If that is the only thing you find wrong with her, then give it a try. Why not help get her in shape by loads of sex and long walks, bike rides, swims, massaging each other, etc. Don't mention her weight as that may make her rebel and she will eat more. Just do things with her, get busy together and compliment every improvement you see. Love is really hard to find and when you do find it, don't let it slip away due to some superficial crap. Besides, my hero, Frank ZappaÊhad a great way of looking at it: Ê"Some girls try it 'n' go on a diet / Then they worry 'cause they's too fat ...Who wants to ride on a ironin' board? / That ain't no fun ... I tried me one: THE BIGGER THE CUSHION, THE BETTER THE PUSHIN' ".