Nobody's Drunk, Either

I'm standing in the back of Laurie Berkner's sold-out show at Symphony Space on Jan. 29. This is partly because I couldn't bring myself to sit down and block the view of a two-year-old. Also, I'm the only person here who isn't accompanied by a child. The concert is being taped for a Good Morning America segment, and some viewers might not understand the target of my subtle leering.

As a clue, note that Berkner's indie record label is called Two Tomatoes. Any adult who's seen her clips on the Noggin channel will have a theory about the tomatoes in question. Her tight red sweaters may not be the most common aspect of Berkner's appeal. Still, it's common knowledge among new parents that even infants are entranced by Berkner's redhead splendor.

In fact, here's a helpful hint: If there turns out to be any truth to that notion of a gay gene, just plant your little boy in front of a Laurie Berkner video. That'll knock it right out like a light head cold.

But I'm not here to corrupt Berkner's innocent genius. I'm here to celebrate her talent as the sole great songwriter amongst an overhyped wave of hipster kiddie musicians. The former preschool teacher writes children's songs with the grace of fine adult pop. She's like Neko Case with talent-and, you know, you could actually impregnate her. This is even Berkner's first show since giving birth to her own target audience, in the form of four-month-old daughter Lucy.

Berkner's competition is probably best summed up by fellow Nogginator (and former Del Fuego) Dan Zanes, who recycles failed mainstream rock for a dopier demographic. He could also stand to hire some musicians who don't look so eager to get back in the van and fire up a bong.

In contrast, Berkner's wholesome power trio features handsome husband Brian Mueller on bass and the MILFish Susie Lampert on keyboards. They start the show with a lovely tune that says hello, before launching into the big hit "Victor Vito." The audience goes even wilder when Berkner follows up with "Song in My Tummy." There's already plenty of chatter throughout the hall, but it never gets worse than anything you'd endure at the Bowery Ballroom. Berkner also has to put up with requests from pushy fans. "We'll sing that one later," she gently assures a demanding kid up front.

The afternoon's nicely killed with a tight 50-minute set of lilting and fun tunes. Berkner wraps things up with "We Are the Dinosaurs," which is kinda like Peter Gabriel-era Genesis. The kids go nuts while the parents-including Jerry Seinfeld toward the front-take pride and relief in knowing that their kids are developing at a decent pace. Berkner then holds an autograph-signing session. There's no rioting at all. Good babies, yes. Such good babies.