Diverse improv event; Parkside Inn, 317 Houston St. (Attorney St.), 917-752-0657 or www.amnesiawars.com; Sun. at 8, $5.
THE CARMEN MOFONGO SHOW
Spanglish variety show w/a "Girls Night Out," theme, feat. dance, music & prizes: it's like understanding Telemundo!; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-330-7681 or www.carmenmofongo.com; Sat. at 10, $10.
CHARLIE VICTOR ROMEO
Techno-thriller derived from actual "black box" transcripts of six real life airlines emergencies; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 254-5277; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, $8 [though 5/27].
DIRTY STUFF
Gay pimp Jonny McGovern portrays a host of characters in this spoof on club life; Fez, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-462-9077; Sun. at 10, $10.
EATING IT
Eddie Pepitone hosts comedy-driven variety show at Luna Lounge, 171 Ludlow St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-260-2323 or www.eatingit.net; Mon. at 8, $7, incl. free drink.
FACEBOYZ OPEN MIC
Everyone has an ten-minute time limit at weekly open mic, hosted by bald & bisexual art-star Faceboy; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-330-6856 or www.surfreality.org; Sun. at 8, sign-up at 7:45, $3.
FUNNY...SHEESH
Improv comedy game show w/audience participation & prizes; Sidewalk, 94 Ave. A (6th St.), 212-473-7373; Sun. at 7:30, 2 drink min.
GERSHWIN HOTEL
"The Louis A. Smaldone II Jazz Trio" (Weds. at 9:30); Patrick Borelli hosts "Great Free Comedy," night of stand-up, improv & sketch (Thurs. at 9:30); "The Laffeteria," (Fri. at 10); "Mr. Monday Comedy Show" w/Deke Haylon (Mon. at 8); The Gershwin Hotel, 7 E. 27th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 212-447-6466; most shows are free.
GROUND ZERO TURNS THIS MUTHA OUT
Bi-weekly sketch comedy show where members go to group therapy & more; Triad Theater, 158 W. 72nd St. (betw. Amsterdam & Columbus Aves.), 212-539-2663 or www.groundzerocomedy.com; Tues. at 8, $5 & 2 drink min.
HEADFONE FOLLIES
Performers put on headphones & imitate weird sounds they've never heard before; Here, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202 or www.here.org; Sat. at 10:30, $12 [through 4/28].
THE IMPROVAHOLICS
NYC improv group pres. their three-step recovery program; Rose's Turn, Rose's Turn, 55 Grove St. (betw. 7th Ave. & Bleecker Sts.), 212-330-7908 or www.improvoholics.com; Fri. at 9, $8 & 2 drink min.
KA-BAAM!!
Bagel Man meets Dr. Amish in this improv comic book fantasy where cast members become characters based on audience suggestions; The Metro Playhouse, 220 E. 4th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), RSVP 212-995-5302 or www.yesand.com/kabam; Tues. at 8, $8.
THE KLONG SHOW
Open mic performance contest allows the audience to "klong" acts that suck while winners receive cash prizes; The Rubber Monkey, 279 Church St. (betw. White & Franklin), 212-625-8220; Mon. at 9, 2 drink min.
LITTLEMAN IMPROV
Night of improv comedy & Napoleonic complexes driven by audience suggestion; Rose's Turn, 55 Grove St. (betw. 7th Ave. & Bleecker Sts.), 212-366-5438; Weds. at 9, $5 & 2 drink min.
MISTER RALPH'S NEIGHBORHOOD
Visit Mr. Ralph's sweatshop in this dark comedy feat. talent from The Upright Citizens Brigade & MTV; St. Mark's Theater, 94 St. Mark's Pl. (betw. 1st Ave. & Ave. A), 212-502-0318; Sat. at 10:30, $12, $10 st./s.c. [through 5/12].
SURVIVORPROV
Ten improvisers start the show, one gets voted off every week & the super-cute one has an 88% approval rating; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222 or www.gothamcityimprov.com; Sat. at 10, $5 [through 4/21].
TENDER: SONGS & STORIES ABOUT LOVE
A series of love-oriented events, "Open performance night," Weds. at 8, sign-up at 7:30; "Echos From Eternity," Thurs. & Fri. at 8; "Mahina Movement," Sat. at 8; "Victoria Libertore's," Tues. at 8; Dixon Place, 309 E. 26th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-532-1546, $8-$15.
THE TENTH FLOOR SKETCH COMEDY GROUP
Politically incorrect humor w/a colorful cast of characters incl. The Armless Nazi & Korean Bodega Man; El Flamingo, 547 W. 21st St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-243-2121; Thurs. at 10, call for price.
THEATERSPORTS
Freestyle Repertory Theater pres. improv comedy at The Trilogy Theater, 341 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 323-595-3258; Sun. at 7, $5 [through 6/17].
THESE ARE ROCKETSHIP PEOPLE
New series of sketches from NYC comedy group "Naked Babies" feat. weed developed by Gulf War scientists; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176 or www.uprightcitizens.org for info; Fri. at 8, $5 [through 4/27].
THREE JEWS & A PERSIAN
Equal opportunity sketch comedy; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-535-9726 or www.geocities.com/threejewsandapersian; Weds. at 9, $7.
TOM SOTER'S SUNDAY NIGHT IMPROV
Long-running comedy jam feat. members of Chicago City Limits, Chainsaw Boys, Hiatus, First Amendment & NY Improv Squad; HomeGrown Theater, 2628 B'way (betw. 99th & 100th Sts.), 212-353-7716; Sun. at 7, $7, $6 adv.
UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE
A plethora of events from some of the strangest, sanest people around feat. "Eye Candy" (Weds. at 8); "Beneath the Planet of the O'Donnellogues" (Weds. at 9:30); "Harold Night" (Thurs. at 7, 8 & 9:30); "Cagematch" (Thurs. at 11); "Naked Babies: These Are Rocketship People" (Fri. at 8, see above); "The Swarm" (Fri. at 10); "Midnight: UCB's Improv Experiment" (Fri. at 12 a.m.); "May I Help You Dumbass?" (Sat. at 8); "Feature Feature" (Sat. at 10); "Word of Mouth" (Sat. at 11:30); "Asssscat 3000" (Sun. at 7:30 & 9:30); "Slovin & Allen" (Mon. at 8); "Kathie Lee & The Legion of Good Meet Ricky Martin & The Loca Power Team" (Mon. at 9:30); "Jen Nails: Lylice" (Tues. at 8, see above); "The Third Degree" (Tues. at 9:30); Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176 or www.uprightcitizens.org for info; most performances $5.
WHITE MEAT
Welcomes you into the world of the Bush era's, trust-funded, bad-dancing, aged frat boy white male; The Red Room, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-517-1709 or www.httheater.org, Thurs.-Sat. at 8, $15.
WHITE TRASH FAMILY FEUD
Improv comedy troupe "Scrambled Eggs" serves up a spoof on the classic gameshow, wait a minute?how is this different from normal Family Feud?; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-460-1813 or www.surfreality.org; Tues. at 7:30, $8, [through 5/30].