So another New YorK SUMMER'S heading straight for us. We ...
ew YorK SUMMER'S heading straight for us. We all know what that means, and it's not good news. The weather's going to be miserable. We're all going to be feeling gritty and cranky. Manhattan won't empty out as much as we hoped it would. The air's gonna smell bad. The crime rate's gonna skyrocket. And the sidewalks, parks, bars and beaches are going to be overflowing with obese tourists in Bermuda shorts complaining about how expensive it is here and what a bunch of assholes we all are.
If you're like us, escape is the first thing you think about when you're reminded that another NYC summer's on the way. But with the rent and the gas and everything else jacking as high as the mercury, who can afford that summer place on the Island anymore, or even that family drive to Utah?
Some people lose their minds completely, jump in the Hudson and try to swim around Manhattan, but that only helps for a little while. Before you know it, you're back home again.
No, my friend, we're all pretty much stuck together for the next few months. (And sometimes, it seems, more literally than others.) It's not as horrible as it might seem at first, and we're here to show you why. The New York Press Summer Guide will tell you how to cheaply and easily escape within the confines of the five boroughs. What could be better on a warm summer evening, for instance, than a drink or two in a lush, green beer garden? Well, how about a drink in a beer garden where they show free movies? We'll point you to our favorite.
The outdoor cafes, the free concerts, the beach parties, the street fairs that stand out-they're all in here.
But you know as well as we do that sometimes you don't want to be outside. Sometimes it gets so damned hot out there that the only thing you can think of is getting a little taste of that A/C. We'll help you there, too, pointing you toward the museums, galleries, clubs, pick-up joints, film series' and other indoor events where you can hang out comfortably for a few hours, suck up the cool and quite possibly even enjoy yourself while doing so. Hey, it's better than loitering in that church again or riding around on the subway for a few more hours.
And don't worry-we'll also tell you, if you're at all like us, what you might want to avoid this summer. Those events, like Museum Mile or the Bryant Park film series, that have turned so nightmarish over the years that nowadays it's just best to leave them to the tourists. We have better alternatives to offer.
We got sports, music, food, booze, festivals of all kinds-and of course sex, sex, sex! Best of all, a lot of it's free. So turn the page and start making your plans. It's gonna be a long, hot summer, but by mid-July, we guarantee it, you're gonna be laughing at those suckers who thought they'd be having "fun" in Seaside Heights.