Speed Kills?ro;”The Weak

A fat line of speed usually prompts you to move your bowels-and quick. Acceleration necessitates purging. So there I was, reading through my coworkers' bathroom scratchiti, becoming anxious, yet still curious enough to take my time. Stippled into the matte black stall walls of the New York Press men's room are weird bits of id. Weird, that is, for such a small and presumed literate company.

"Gramps Colletti," for instance, reminds us of our former publisher's sexagenarian status. "How big is your dick?" is accompanied by nine blanks lines (four are filled in with various boasts). "What a releaf" reminds me that our proofreader is a woman.

This issue marks my second anniversary in this job. What a releaf, indeed. Two years ago this week, the New York Press masthead underwent its most significant changes ever. Russ Smith, the founder and by then, former, owner was no longer at the top; Lisa Kearns and John Strausbaugh were nowhere to be found. In their place, me and Alexander Zaitchik, two youngish punks taken away from a lovely alt-biweekly in the Czech Republic.

These last 104 issues of New York Press have been nothing if not accelerated, and filled with their share of purging. Within our first few issues, we'd said goodbye to Alexander Cockburn, and hello to Matt Taibbi. We told the, um, insanely talented JT Leroy and his prissy demands to fuck off, but continued this paper's long-standing tradition of welcoming untested writers.

Next week, New York Press will undergo two more significant changes. First, in a move that will surprise no one who follows the newspaper industry, we're switching to a 50-inch web printing press. This means a page that's one-and-a-quarter inches shorter, and will not only save us money but also improve our print quality and reduce paper consumption. With the help of art director Jennifer Rodriguez, we don't expect to sacrifice any content.

To make this switch possible, we need to change our printing day. So, as of next week, New York Press will be distributed on Wednesdays. Find us at the same time, in the same 2500-plus spots around town-just one day later. This is a throwback to this paper's early days, and we're happy as a Chinese baby to make the shift. It means more time to react to weekend events, more time to confirm upcoming events-and maybe the chance to make fun of the Village Voice almost immediately. You know, maybe.

With these changes, our two-year plan to restore New York Press to its rightful place as the city's best weekly will be complete. Now, as Zaitchik might say, we're putting this paper into third gear.

Thanks for supporting us these last 104 issues.

Jeff Koyen

editor-in-chief

Feb. 7, 2005