STAGE WEDNESDAY 3/6 Cabaret Gennifer Flowers Yup! ...

Cabaret

Gennifer Flowers Yup! The one & only pres. songs, autographs & Q&A; Barracuda, 275 W. 22 St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-645-8613; call for times, free.

From Every Side Eric Pickering w/David Maiocco on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.

The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita impress w/retro hits via synthesizer; Hannah's Lava Lounge, 923 8th Ave. (betw. 54th & 55th Sts.), 212-974-9087; 5, free [repeats Thurs.].

Comedy

All-Star Comedy Stand-up w/Warren Holstein, Russ Meneve, Steve Byrne, Judah Friedlander, Godfrey & Ben Bailey; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 9:30, $8 & 1 drink min. [repeats Thurs.].

Half a Pound of A$$ Japan's A$$ is proved worth its weight in gold, even when translated; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-366-9176; 8, $5.

Next Monday Ex-NBC pages perform sketch comedy?half of the proceeds benefit Sept. 11th charities; the American Theatre for Actors, 314 W. 54th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-604-4463; 8, $15 [repeats Thurs.-Sat.].

Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Kevin Brennan, Godfrey, Mitch Fatel & Robert Kelly; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs. & Sun.].

Nancy Redman Stand-up w/Tony Powell & Richie Byrne; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45, $12.50 [repeats Thurs. & Sun.].

Reverend Jen's Anti-Slam Open mic for comedians, sketch comics, musicians & freaks; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277; 8, $3.

Joan Rivers Nipped & tucked comic lets it all hang out?proceeds benefit God's Love We Deliver & Guide Dogs for the Blind; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 9, $25.

Tom Soter's Three-In-One Improv Different rotating improv styles each week feat. the "All-Star Improv Jam," "Wingnuts: Improv Comedy" & "Twelve: An Improvised Play" at Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-353-7716; 8:30, $8.

Greg Vacarello Stand-up w/Greg Rogell, Laurie Kilmartin & Mike King; NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 9, $7 & 2 drink min. [repeats Thurs.].

W&H Comedy Hours Don & Paul host weekly show w/emerging comics; Sweet Caroline's, 369 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-977-3884; 8, free.

Dance

Ballet Florida West Palm Beach co. performs three dances incl. William Forsythe's quartet Steptext, Daniel Ezralow's Read My Hips & NY premiere of Mauricio Wainrot's From Far Away; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (19th St.), 212-242-0800; 8, $32 [repeats Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Sat. & Sun. at 2, Sun. at 7:30].

BE Peyari Dance Project pres. contemporary dance feat. "One," "Ludicrous" & "Dear God" as part of Spotlight on Winter Festival 2002; Raw Space, Theater L, 529 W. 42nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-279-4200; 6, $15 [repeats Thurs.].

Sean Curran Co. 92nd St. Y continues modern dance festival w/2000's Six Laments & premieres of Sonata & From Either, with Instinct; The Duke, 229 W. 42nd St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; 8, $20 [repeats Thurs. & Sat. at 8, Sun. at 2 & 7].

Paul Taylor Dance Co. pres. three rotating programs, program B feat. Counterswarm, Great Depression, inspired Black Tuesday & 1981's Arden Court; City Center, 131 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 8, $30-$60 [repeats Fri. at 8, Sun. at 7:30].

THURSDAY 3/7

Cabaret

Ladyfinger Meryl "Lady" Finger is large & in charge providing glamorous burlesque feat. songs like "Everybody's Girl" & "Don't Tell Mama"; Marion's Continental Restaurant & Lounge, 354 Bowery (betw. 4th & Great Jones Sts.), 212-475-7621; 8, $1.

Luigi & Arlette Duo perform w/piano upstairs in Italian restaurant's bar; Baldoria, 240 W. 49th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Aves.), 212-582-0460; 9, free w/dinner or drinks [repeats Sat.].

The Second Time Around Lynn Lobban w/John Wallowitch on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.

Comedy

Call of the Wild Diana Stevens & Stephany Hitchcock pres. sketch comedy poking fun at life's challenges; HERE, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202 x301; 7:30, free w/RSVP.

The Chainsaw Boys Six-piece improv troupe saws through Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222, RSVP 212-501-1728; 8, $8 [through 3/28].

girlCOMIC LIVE Goddess Perlman hosts female comics feat. Becky Donahue, Ophira Eisenberg, Jennifer Marks, Sharon Williams, Cynthia Levin, Jess Kirson, Katie McAbe & Marina Franklin; Parkside Lounge, 271 E. Houston St. (Attorney St.), 212-673-6270; 8, free.

The Happy Hour Tim Halpern, who isn't funny but is officially "working on it," hosts night of free stand-up that is quite funny, feat. Bernie Pauley, DC Benny, Grant Cooper, Laurie Kilmartin, Mike Birch, Nasry Malak & a special guest; the Den at Two Boots, 44 Ave A (betw. 3rd & 4th Sts.), 212-677-6770; 8:45, free.

Homo Comicus Bob Montgomery hosts the Spring Break edition feat. gay comics gone wild w/Kate Clinton, Judy Gold, Julie Goldman, Eddie Sarfaty & Paul J. Williams; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30, $12 & 2 drink min.

Mr. Pennygaff & Lilly Lipid's Open Stage Variety Night Open mic night satisfies even the strangest of folks w/jugglers, clowns, acrobats, sideshow marvels & magicians; Present Company Theatorium, 198 Stanton St. (betw. Ridge & Attorney Sts.), 212-726-1935; 11, $5.

Kevin Pollack entertains at Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 8, $24.50-$28.50 & 2 drink min. [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 8 & 10:30, Sun. at 7:30].

Dance

Donald Byrd/The Group pres. contemporary dance blending jazz & B'way dance in new & classic works incl. Not the Shack, Jazz Train & Drastic Cuts; New Victory Theater, 209 W. 42nd St. (7th & 8th Aves.), 212-239-6200; 7, $10-$30 [repeats Fri. at 7, Sat. at 2 & 7, Sun. at 12 & 5].

Fuji Musume (The Wisteria Maiden) Japan's Living National Treasure Ganjiro Nakamura III dons drag to play a young woman in kabuki theater; Japan Society, 333 E. 47th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-752-3015; 8, $30.

Harmonic Nuance Sunhwa Chung Dance pres. nine dancers in seven "original modern & traditional Korean works"; also debut solo by Wilson Mendieta at Merce Cunningham Studio, 55 Bethune St. (betw. West & Washington Sts.), 212-924-0077; 8, $15 [repeats Fri. at 8, Sat. at 7].

New York Baroque Dance Co. celebrates 25th season w/Anniversary Baroque Costume Ball. Audience members are encouraged to dress for the occasion as they watch excerpts from Zephyre & La Follia accompanied by live music; Danspace Project at St. Mark's Church, 131 E. 10th St. (2nd Ave.), 212-674-8194; 8:30, $15 [repeats Fri.-Sun.].

The Night A Meteor Fell Through My Roof The Moving Co. pres. evening-long work inspired by year-long interviews with regular people feat. dancers Eric Diamond, David Dinolfo, Kristin Eliasberg, Kate Gyllenhaal, Alice Kaltman & Philip Karg; Dixon Place, 309 E. 26th St. (betw. 1st & 2nd Aves.), 212-532-1546; 8, $15, $12 adv., $8 st./s.c.

Paul Taylor Dance Co. pres. three rotating programs, the first of which feat. Dandelion Wine, Speaking in Tongues & the New York premiere of Antique Valentine; City Center, 131 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 8, $30-$60 [repeats Sat. at 8, Sun. at 3].

FRIDAY 3/8

Cabaret

Ave Go Mahan returns w/Peter Kiesewalter on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.

Veronica Martell performs jazz standards w/her five-piece band; Carnegie Club, 156 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-957-9676; 8 & 10, $15 & 2 drink min. [through 3/29].

The Next Big Broadway Musical Ron Poole hosts two-act musical comedy w/cast-improvised songs & an encore of the audiences' favorites following feat. talent incl. Matthew Loren Cohen, Debbie Rabbai, Christine Turner & Eliza Skinner; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8, $10 & 2 drink min.

Comedy

Gay & Lesbian Comedy Fest! Michael Conley hosts night of gay & lesbian performers feat. Poppi Kramer, Sidney Myer, Lisa Kaplan, Eddie Sarfaty, Danny McWilliams, Carolyn Montgomery, Julie Reyburn & musical director David Maiocco, plus heavy metal jams by Pink Steel; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 10:30, $10 & 2 drink min. [through 3/29].

Girlbomb Vs. Man Janice Erlbaum & Rob Shapiro stage their own battle of the sexes w/guest Andy L. at Surf Reality, 172 Allen St. (betw. Rivington & Stanton Sts.), 212-673-4182; 10, $8.

Gladys' Comedy Room hosts stand-up w/D.C. Benny, Warren Holstein, Mike Singer & John Mooney; Backroom at Hamburger Harry's, 145 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 212-832-1762; 8:30, $12 & $5 min., $8 & $5 min. NYPress readers.

Vanessa Hollingshead Stand-up w/Ted Alexandro & Andrew Kennedy; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 8, 10 & 12:15 a.m., $12 [repeats Sat.].

Hopscotch: The New York Sex Comedies Wendy R. Williams pres. singles comedy that reveals & exploits "the games people play when they're getting it on"; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-841-5410; 8, $5 & 2 drink min. [through 4/26].

Jimmy Nations' 'Possum County Fair Brian Huskey hosts music, dancing, comedy & magic feat. Henry Bogden, Seth Morris, the world famous Pontani Sisters & mentalist John Andrejack plus comic duo Phil Korshack & James Pinkowski; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St., 718-782-5188; 9, $10.

Bill McCarty hosts stand-up w/Tony Rock, Karen Bergreen, Mike Birbiglia, Lisa Lampanelli, Ray Ellin, Todd Barry, Paul Mercurio, Sue Costello, Mitch Fatel, Antman, Ross Bennett & Macio; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m., $15 & 2 drink min.

Jim Norton Stand-up w/Dave Attell, Jordan Reuben, Rich Vos, Russ Meneve, Greg Rogell & Macio; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 8, 10 & 12:15 a.m., $12 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].

Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Kevin Brennan, Godfrey, Mitch Fatel & Robert Kelly; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9, 10:45 & 12:30 a.m., $10-$12 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat. w/add. 7:30 show].

Nancy Redman Stand-up w/Tony Powell & Richie Byrne; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:30 & 10:30, $15-$20 [repeats Sat. at 8, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m.].

Top African-American & Latino Comics Feat. guest $andy Kane, the self proclaimed "Queen of Obscene" at NY Comedy Club, 241 E. 24th St. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-696-5233; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat.].

Zero Boy pres. comedy, music & virtual video feat. DJ Ironica, Master Lee, Karen Sneider, Damaris Webb & Damion DaCosta?plus "World War Zero" a bit about the history of weapons; 10 Spot, 93 Ave. B (betw. 6th & 7th Sts.), 212-254-1954; 10, $10.

Dance

Love After Death Choreographer Julia Ritter pres. cast of five exploring reactions to loss, memorials & grief at time when we all mourn together; Speyer Hall, University Settlement, 184 Eldridge St. (betw. Delancey & Rivington Sts.), 212-924-0077, 8, $12, $10 st./s.c. [repeats Sat.].

Performance Mix New Dance Alliance pres. experimental dance feat. solos by nicholasleichterdance & Diane Moss, Michael Burke's My Buddy, Pelleas, and Me & excerpts from "Anthology" by Suzanne Miller & Allan Paivio; Joyce Soho, 155 Mercer St. (betw. Houston & Prince Sts.), 212-334-7479; 8, $12.

SATURDAY 3/9

Cabaret

A Century of Life and Love Elizabeth Anne performs original songs & comedy vignettes at 22 Below Cabaret, 155 E. 22nd St. (betw. Lexington & 3rd Aves.), 212-228-0750; 9, $5.

Cary Hoffman performs Frank Sinatra's "most celebrated 50s classics" w/an 11-piece orchestra?and listen, this guy sounds exactly like Frank; Carnegie Club, 156 W. 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-843-8073; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.

Medleyfin Judy Kreston & David Lahm perform a trib. to Richard Rodgers w/Ratzo Harris on bass & Ray Grappone on drums; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.

Mr. Choade's Upstairs/Downstairs Chester O'Makerel & Fawn host party w/regulars Ronny Dykesman, Ukulele Louie, Pussyhawk & more; the Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-253-7246; 10, $5.

Poole Party Variety show always has regulars Ron Poole & Sidney Myer; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min.

Va Va Voom Room Miss Astrid hosts a combo of burlesque, vaudeville, strippers, magicians & clowns; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-330-9349; 11, $15 & 2 drink.

Comedy

Beyond the Valley of the Switchblade Pussycats Dagmar Spank lets you into his world of debauchery where wild women can't be harnessed by men or bras; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & Lexington Aves.), 212-366-9176; 12 a.m., $7.

Brooklyn Brew-Ha-Ha Larry Getlen hosts stand-up w/Bernadette Pauly, Liam McEneany, Ritch Duncan, Jon Corbett, Bryan Olsen, Melinda Roman, Pat Galante, Jessi Klein, Denise Bongiovanni & Nellie Stevens; East End Ensemble, 273 Smith St. (betw. Sackett & Degraw Sts.), Carroll Gardens, 718-624-8878; 8, $10.

Gladys' Comedy Room hosts stand-up w/Judah Friedlander, Warren Holstein, David Rubin, Doug Saulnier & David Waugh; Backroom at Hamburger Harry's, 145 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 6th Ave.), 212-832-1762; 8:30, $12 & $5 min., $8 & $5 min. NYPress readers.

Lord of the Bling Blings Improv troupe, the Usual Suspects, pres. an entirely new look at the popular tale; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 718-284-3120; 8:30, $8.

William Stephenson hosts stand-up w/Sherrod Small, Steven Scott, Vinnie Brand, Vanessa Hollingshead, Tom Cotter, Gregg Rogell, Modi, Lenny Marcus, Al Ducharme & Kevin Flynn; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 8, 10:15 & 12:30, $15 & 2 drink min.

The 10:17 Comedy Night Michael & Bricken host night of sketch comedy feat. "The Inappropriate Preschool Teacher"; also Beth Sherman, Paul Sullivan & Karey Dornetto from the stand-up circuit, Michael Birch's acappella karaoke face-off & music by Fragile Male Ego; Gershwin Hotel, 7 E. 27th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 212-932-3767; 10, $5.

The Tommy Koening Show Variety show w/stand-up comedy; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 10, $10 & 2 drink min.

Dance

Africa Bahia Festival Afro Brazilian Arts pres. an evening of Capoeira Angola & West African drumming & dance; Clemente Soto Vélez Cultural Center, 107 Suffolk St. (Rivington St.), 212-677-2203; 5 & 7, free.

Paul Taylor Dance Co. pres. three rotating programs. Tonight, "Program C" w/the Sorcerer's Sofa, the Word, Cloven Kingdom & 1985's Duet from Roses; City Center, 131 W. 55th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-581-1212; 2, $30-$60.

Performance Mix New Dance Alliance pres. experimental dance feat. soloists Karen Bernard & Deborah Dunn, a duet by Chris & Justin, the trio Time in Circles by Judith Sanchez Ruiz & physical theater w/Leigh Garrett & Katie Workum; Joyce Soho, 155 Mercer St. (betw. Houston & Prince Sts.), 212-334-7479; 8, $12.

Saturday Night Swing Club Everyone's welcome to "jump jive & wail," jitterbug & lindy-hop to live music from the 30s, 40s & 50s?light refreshments served; 92nd St. Y, 1395 Lexington Ave., 2nd fl. (92nd St.), 212-415-5552; 7, $15.

SUNDAY 3/10

Cabaret

Charlie Brandon Olson pres. DJs, go-go boys & live acts; Marion's Continental Restaurant & Lounge, 354 Bowery (betw. 4th & Great Jones Sts.), 212-475-7621; 10, free.

Every Drop of Hope Barbara Lynn Pederson w/Chuck Vassallo on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 5:30, $10 min.

I'm Alright Anthony Gaglione w/Gerry Dieffenbach on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 3, $10 min.

Julie Sher makes her Judy's debut at Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.

Comedy

Rebel Without a Pause Reno thinks/talks fast about recent events which shook herself & the world; Marion's Continental Restaurant & Lounge, 354 Bowery (betw. 4th & Great Jones Sts.), 212-475-7621; 5:30, $15.

Dance

Performance Mix New Dance Alliance pres. experimental work feat. Cary Baker's balloon piece Twice, excerpts from Shannon Hummel's "Gone" & Tania Isaac's "a larger story" & the passionate Timeless Red by Ellis Wood of Wood Dance; Joyce Soho, 155 Mercer St. (betw. Houston & Prince Sts.), 212-334-7479; 8, $12.

MONDAY 3/11

Cabaret

The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita impress w/retro hits via synthesizer; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 10, $10 min.

September 11th, 2001?The Musical Response Erv Raible pres. an evening of songs inspired by the tragedy feat. Marnie Baumer, Tony Chiroldes, A.J. Irvin & Pam Tate; Danny's Skylight Room, 346 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-265-8133; 9:15, $20 & $10 min.

Wanna Fall In Love? Badomi de Cesare returns w/Harry Huff on piano performing classics incl. "You Don't Own Me"; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 & $10 min.

Comedy

Blue Tony Woods hosts comedy feat. Tracy Morgan, Warren Holstein, Dean Edwards, Dov Davidoff & Rondelle; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 10, $8 & 1 drink min.

Eating It: Comedy With No Standards Tony Woods hosts night of laughs w/up & comers Eddie Brill, Ted Alexandro, DC Benny, Ophira Eisenberg, Liam McEneaney & Allan Wells. Arrive early to get seats for what's becoming a comedy cult favorite; Luna Lounge, 171 Ludlow St. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 212-260-2323; 8, $7 incl. free drink.

Paul Mercurio Stand-up w/Gregory Rogell, Gregory Vacarello, Jim Norton, Billy Burr & Rob Magnotti; Dangerfield's, 1118 1st Ave. (betw. 61st & 62nd Sts.), 212-593-1650; 8:45, $12.50 [repeats Mon. & Tues.].

The Monday Show Stand-up & sketch comedy feat. Deidre Sullivan, Kate's Chink-O-Rama & the music of Fragile Male Ego; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.

Nicky & Friends pres. "let loose comedy" feat. Nick Albano, Janice Erlbaum, Rob Shapiro, Dov Davidoff, Andy L., Sandy Marks & Erica Knuddsen at The Gaslight, 400 W. 14th St. (9th Ave.), 212-388-2392; 8, free.

Colin Quinn Stand-up w/Greer Barnes, Godfrey, Mitch Fatel & Robert Kelly; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts.), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Tues.].

Dance

Lisa LeAnn And Terry Dean Put On A Dance Show feat. works by Hope Clark, Celeste Hastings, Chantal Deeble & Clint Lutes (also, premieres by Larry Keigwin w/Nicole Wolcott & Brian Brooks w/Weena Pauly); Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-782-5188; 8 & 9, $10.

TUESDAY 3/12

Cabaret

Being Green: A Collection of Irish Songs Colm Reilly celebrates St. Patrick's Day a bit early w/D. Jay Bradley on piano; Judy's Chelsea, 169 8th Ave. (betw. 19th & 20th Sts.), 212-929-5410; 8:30, $10 min.

It's Love! (or a damn fine facsimile) Singer/actress Mardie Millit performs songs by Hank Beebe & Stephen Sondheim w/Seth Weinstein on piano; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 9, $10 & 2 drink min.

Starstruck Lee Byar becomes a Hollywood legend by looking & singing like Carol Channing, Judy, Liza & Marilyn; Marion's Continental Restaurant & Lounge, 354 Bowery (betw. 4th & Great Jones Sts.), 212-475-7621; 8, free.

Comedy

Half-Price College Night College IDs get you a sweet deal of cheap beer & stand-up feat. Warren Holstein, Russ Meneve, Steve Byrne, Judah Friedlander, Big Jay & Ben Bailey; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 9:30, $8 & 1 drink min.

One Man Jam Kurt "Allman" Braunohler is the man that jams for 25-minutes doing improv characters, monologues & scenes; Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & Lexington Aves.), 212-366-9176; 9:30, $5.

Otto & George Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 8, $16.50 & 2 drink min.

Dance

Amazed In Burning Dreams Choreographer Kirk Peterson leads master class of American Ballet Theatre dancers through his 1993 ballet at Sylvia & Danny Kaye Playhouse, Hunter College, 68th St. (betw. Park & Lexington Aves.), 212-772-4448; 7, $10, $8 s.c., $5 st.

Flamenco Vivo Carlota Santana co. pres. Flamenco in traditional piece En El Café de Chinitas & premiere work Bailaor/Bailaora feat. live music; Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (19th St.), 212-242-0800; 8, $35.

Isadora Duncan Dance Foundation pres. performance by artistic director Lori Belilove, plus book signing & discussion by Duncan's biographer Peter Kurth; Columbia Teacher's College, Horace Mann Building, 525 W. 120th St., Room 436, 212-678-8222; 5, free.

Theater

IN PREVIEWS/OPENINGS

36 Views Discovery of ancient Japanese pillow book incites present-day drama; the Public Theater's Newman Theater, 425 Lafayette St. (Astor Pl.), 212-260-2400; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $45 [opens 3/27, through 4/14].

"Borough Tales: Brooklyn" Series of fairy tales reinvented by Brooklyn playwrights, incl. The Little Matchgirl & Hannah and Gretel; Blue Heron Arts Center, 123 E. 24th St. (betw. Park Ave. S. & Lexington Ave.), 212-279-4200; Fri. & Sat. at 7:30, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $15 [opens 3/14, through 3/23].

The Carpetbagger's Children Acclaimed playwright Horton Foote's latest?story of three daughters' lives after the Civil War; Mitzi E. Newhouse Theater at Lincoln Center, 150 W. 65th St. (betw. B'way & Amsterdam Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60 [opens 3/25].

Dance, My Darling, Dance Love story inspired by film noir/30s & 40s musicals; Ohio Theater, 66 Wooster St. (betw. Spring & Broome Sts), 212-496-3052; Weds.-Sat. & Mon at 8, mat. Sun at 3, $15 [opens 3/13, through 3/30].

Fortune's Fool Adaptation of Turgenev play deals w/deception & family intrigue; the Music Box Theatre, 239 W. 45th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $55-$75 [opens 4/2].

Har Har: An Evening with Harburg Harrisbrandt Comedy about trials of rock 'n' roll genius suffering from ADD; St. Marks Theater, 94 St. Marks Pl. (betw. 1st & Ave. A), 212-330-7681; Thurs.- Sat. at 8, $12, $8 st./s.c. [through 3/30].

Miss Evers' Boys Pulitzer-prize nominee about government-run syphilis experiments; McGinn/Cazale Theater, 2162 B'way (betw. 76th & 77th Sts.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $45, $15 st. [opens 3/13, through 4/14].

Portia Coughlan Irish playwright explores the psyche; Times Sq. Theatre, 675 8th Ave. (42nd St.), 212-586-7829; Thurs.-Sun. at 8, $18 [opens 3/7, through 4/7].

Prodigal Bible story retold as musical & reset in Australia; the York Theater, 619 Lexington Ave. (54th St.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds., Sat., Sun. at 2:30 [through 3/31].

Surviving Grace Story about two women who learn to let go; Union Sq. Theater, 100 E. 17th St. (Park Ave. S.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7:30, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $30-$55 [opens Tues.].

Throw Pitchfork Alexander Thomas' solo production addresses personal & societal struggles faced by himself & his family; New York Theater Workshop, 79 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-460-5475; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $15 [opens 3/12].

Topdog/Underdog Mos Def stars in tale of two brothers obsessed w/coming out on top; Ambassador Theater, 219 W. 49th St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; Tues. at 8, $15-$75 [opens 4/7].

JUST OPENED

The Allegory of Golf Story about widow who flees her hometown; Flatiron Playhouse, 119 W. 23rd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), RSVP 212-340-1359; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $15, $10 st. [through 3/16].

Angry Jellow Bubbles Eva Minemar pres. 10 chicks exploring "what it means to be a woman"; New Dance Group Arts Center, 254 W. 47th St. (betw. 7th Ave. & B'way), 212-465-3410; Sat. at 8, $12 [through 4/13].

The Barn Series Ensemble Collective of multicultural directors debut works, incl. Harlem Ain't Nuttin But a Word; Center Stage, 48 W. 21st St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-929-0900; Weds.-Sun. at 8, $10 [through 3/24].

Berkoff Is Back Steven Berkoff performs three monologues incl. "The Tell-Tale Heart" by Poe; 45 Bleecker, 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. at 8, $35-$45 [through 3/9].

Bewilderness Bill Bailey's musical (he plays the kazoo) comedy is the last production at Westbeth Theater Center, 151 Bank St. (betw. West & Washington Sts.), 212-221-8361; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, $25-$35 [through 3/30].

Brer Rabbit Controversial American folktale reveals insulting yet endearing stereotypes; Abrons Arts Center, Henry St. Settlement, 466 Grand St. (Pitt St.), 212-598-0400; Sat. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $10, $5 kids [through 3/10].

Chocolate in Heat: Growing Up Arab in America Five related monologues torn between two cultures; Theater for the New City, 155 1st Ave. (10th St.), 212-254-1109; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $10 [through 3/10].

Circumference of a Squirrel Paul Sparks' solo performance examines a downward-spiraling life; Urban Stages, 259 W. 30th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 877-737-3285; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $35 [through 3/17].

Cirque Jacqueline One-woman Jackie O. portrait; Bank St. Theater, 155 Bank St. (betw. West & Washington Sts.), 212-388-2484; Weds. & Tues. at 9, $10 [through 3/20].

COP-OUT Two "socially-relevant" one-acts, one of which addresses love affair between cop & activist; 380 B'way (White St.), 212-502-3500; Thurs.-Sun. at 8, $12, $10 st./s.c. [through 3/16].

Falling Man & Other Monologues Award-winning writer Will Scheffer offers solo musings on gay love & sexuality; the Duplex Cabaret Theatre, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; Thurs. at 7:30, $15 [through 4/25].

Fool For Love Revival of Sam Shepard's humorous tale of romance in a seedy motel room; 29th St. Rep, 212 W. 29th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Sat., Mon. & Tues. at 8, $35 [through 3/30].

Golden Ladder Woman learns truth about her parents' different religious beliefs & then examines her own; Players Theater, 115 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & 3rd Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $50-$55 [through 3/17].

The Hamlet Project Hiphop rendition of Shakespeare w/Walter Pagan as the brooder; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-475-7710; Thurs.-Sun. at 8, mat. Sun. at 2:30, $15 [through 3/10].

Hamletango Hamlet w/lesbian protagonist & Argentinean slant starring Susana Cook; W.O.W. Cafe, 59 E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-777-4280; Fri. & Sat. at 9, $7 [through 3/30].

How to Train Your Man Advice every person dating a member of this perplexing species could use; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Fri. & Sat. at 8, $20 [through 3/9].

It's Not My Fault, It Was on Fire When I Got There A sister & brother perform 23 different?"roles" to determine if he can publish a story which would defame her; Bouwerie Lane Theater, 330 Bowery (Bond St.), 212-677-0060 x10; Sat. at 11, $10 [through 3/9].

La Lupe: My Life, My Destiny Celebration of great Hispanic lady starring Doreen Montalvo; Puerto Rican Traveling Theatre, 304 W. 47th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 6:30, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $40.

The Matchmaker Just like Nerve.com but set in rural, 1950s Ireland ; Irish Repertory Theater, 132 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-727-2737; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. at 2, Sat. & Sun. at 3, $35-$40 [through 3/31].

Murder in Baker Street All Sherlock needs is a body to get the suspect, but when the body shows up in his own home, things get tricky; the Mint Theater, 311 W. 43rd St., 5th fl. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Weds.-Sat. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $19, $15 st./s.c. [through 3/10].

Murder on the Nile Agatha Christie's whodunit novel takes the stage; Pulse Theater, 432 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-695-1596; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $18 [through 3/17].

My Red Bush & Other Stories The ever-changing lives of six friends from high school; Kraine Theater, 85 E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-539-7686; Thurs. at 10:30, $7.

Necessary Targets New work by Eve Ensler, author of The Vagina Monologues, about two women who travel to Bosnia & counsel female refugees; Variety Arts Theatre, 110 3rd Ave. (betw. 13 & 14th Sts.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds., Sat. & Sun. at 3, $60.

New York Values Downtown cult favorite Penny Arcade gives new performance about underground star whose suddenly displaced from her ritzy neighborhood; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; Weds.-Sun. at 8:30, $20 [through 3/10].

Peacefire One-man take on terrorism in Northern Ireland w/hiphop soundtrack; Arlene Grocery, 95 Stanton St. (betw. Ludlow & Orchard Sts.), 212-206-1515; Fri.-Mon. at 7:30, $10 [through 3/11].

Roses Are Brown In celebration of Black History Month, Dhana-Maria Branton's play follows five women on eve of Martin Luther King Jr.'s "March on Washington"; Theater for the New City, 155 1st Ave. (10th St.), 212-254-1109; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $10 [through 3/24].

Shopping & Fucking Dark comedy involving a love triangle, addiction & snuff films; Theater 22, 54 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-505-1700; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 2, $15 [through 3/24].

Songs from Coconut Hill Festival showcases new works by Latino playwrights; Here, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; Fri. at 7:30 & 10, Sat. at 7:30, Sun. at 5, $15 [through Sun.].

Straight from the Rib Twenty-six monologues from women of all ages on/topics just as diverse; the Triad Theater, 158 W. 72nd St. (betw. Amsterdam & Columbus Aves.), 212-799-4599; Tues. at 7, $10 [through 3/26].

Theatresports™ Mix of improv, acting & competitive sports complete w/audience participation; Trilogy Theater, 341 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-642-8202; Sun. at 7, $5 [through 6/1].

To You, the Birdie! Translation of Racine's Phèdre, which thrusts private moments into public, starring everybody loves Frances McDormand!; St. Ann's Warehouse, 38 Water St. (Dock St.), Dumbo, 212-966-3651; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sat. at 3, $25-$30 [through 3/30].

Tumor Brainiowicz Polish avant-garde translated into English & presented w/puppets (Christ almighty, those people love their puppets) & live musicians; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. 2nd Ave. & Bowery), 212-475-7710; Thurs.-Sat. at 10, Sun. at 5:30, $15 [through 3/10].

Twilight in Berlin Love story about two women during WWII?one German, one Jewish; Center Stage, 48 W. 21st St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-330-8810; Weds.-Sun. at 8, $15 [through 3/10].