The Dialectics Of Boobs

Ten years ago, the first volley was fired in the struggle to transform New York into a sterile, bland, family-friendly amusement park-a kind of Dayton on steroids or a Branson writ large.

Smoking was banned, sex shops were shuttered, harmless vices of all kinds were denied New Yorkers. Easily recognized generic chain stores and restaurants overtook streets once lined with unique independent shops with hearts and souls. Even the accent started to vanish. It's a sad story we're all familiar with.

But quietly the porn shops have been edging their way back toward their true home. After fleeing Times Square in the 90s for Jersey and far-flung sections of Brooklyn and Queens, sex shops are reappearing in greater and greater numbers in Manhattan. They first began popping up in the West Village about two years ago. Then they inched their way into Chelsea. More recently, almost 20 new sex shops have opened their doors in the blocks surrounding the Port Authority, within smelling distance of the Deuce. It won't be long, given the inevitable swing of history, before Peepland reclaims its hallowed spot on 42nd St.

Why the renaissance? We can think of a hundred reasons. But the most likely explanation is also the most fundamental: greed.

If you take a walk around Manhattan these days, you're sure to notice the number of stores that have shut down over the past few years, and stayed that way. Walk up Broadway from Houston and try to count the number of closed gates. More often than not, it wasn't because business was bad, but because the rents had climbed out of reach.

Real estate developers are finding they have two options when it comes to renting out a commercial space at the ridiculous prices they're demanding: national chain stores or porn shops.

Time was, of course, that leasing to a porn shop was out of the question. Even if they fit the city's stringent zoning laws, it was accepted that they simply weren't welcome in Manhattan. But as commercial rents in Manhattan continue heavenward, developers who couldn't find any other takers finally remembered that porn is always huge business, and porn shops always pay their rent, no matter how ridiculous.

Funny, isn't it? If it weren't for money-grubbing real estate developers, porn shops would still be in exile. Who could've imagined that something as innately destructive to the spirit of New York as the present real estate insanity would also help resurrect a bit of the city's glorious, sleazy vitality?

-Jim Knipfel