The Mail
Shall I Compare Thee to A Triple Play?
David H. Lynn, editor, the Kenyon Review
Friends of Jeff Singer
Re: Jeff Singer's inclusion on your "50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers" list (3/30): I thoroughly support your decision to hurl epithets at Jeff based on creative decisions he's made in an industry you obviously know nothing about. That kind of thing is what makes America great! However, the fact that none of the New York Press writers put their names any of these slams renders the exercise gutless. As a result, I will now have to rely solely on guesswork to make personal attacks on you.
I'm willing to bet that you are a performer of some kind, but not a standup. Maybe you tried it once at some avant-garde shithole like Surf Reality or Collective Unconscious and were terrible. Most likely you are some god-awful, Lower East Side performance artist a la Michael "Shit Bomb" Portnoy, or you are somehow involved in improv, the queer cousin of standup. Perhaps you've even completed a level-one class at UCB and are about to begin level two. Just to let you know, imbecile, there is no such thing as alternative comedy. The only alternative to funny is unfunny. It doesn't matter what Jeff did to the show. Every single comedy showcase is going to play out exactly the same way. If you're lucky, about 20 to 30 percent of it will be enjoyable, and the rest will be hack bullshit. Except of course, for places like Collective Unconscious or HA!, where zero percent of the show will be enjoyable.
In conclusion, please stop writing and start devoting your time to something more productive, like contracting HIV, then bare-backing with Armond White.
Kurt Metzger, Manhattan
Too many syllables
Re: Russ Smith's "Honesty's the Best Policy" (4/6): Rather than changing the New York Times' name, wouldn't it be more accurate to change the New York Press' name to the Bush Propaganda Gazette?
Al Senia, Brooklyn
Cat Fight!
"Once you start experiencing crippling cramps whilst gushing blood from your nether parts four days out of every month..." (Judy McGuire, "No Twat for Twits," 3/30).
How can I explain your pea-brained idiocy to you, Judy? If menstruating is truly that bad for you-"crippling"!-it suggests you are incapable of doing equal work at "a job where you're paid 25 cents an hour less than the unqualified jackass in the next cube." The jackass might be unqualified, but he's not hormone-addled and stymied by the "crippling" aches and pains that you supposedly suffer on a regular basis. No wonder you get paid less-you have a physical disability that interferes with your job. Oh, but what's that? Your menstruation is not that horrible and you were only playing victim in a rather pathetic and self-pitying ploy to manipulate people into feeling sorry for you?
In that case, I guess you're just a resentful, whiny twit.
NAME WITHHELD, Manhattan
50 Most Smelly Hippies
Bravo! I don't even live in New York City, yet I keep coming back to your web site and I'm always entertained. I wonder if the Bay Guardian will ever get around to doing a "50 Most Loathsome San Franciscans"? Great job, folks. Especially the one on Lindsay Lohan.
Michelle de Grasse, San Francisco
The Mr. Kim mystique
I'm writing to you in response to your "50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers" story (3/30), specifically entry #37: "Mr. Kim."
I was an employee of Kim's Video on Ave. A in 2003, and I agree that we were a surly bunch and that we were paid little more than diamond-mining monkeys. But sometimes we acted like human beings. And sometimes we were surly because some customers were pretty friggin' annoying. While it was depressing to note that most of the staff that received less than minimum wage were college graduates (some specializing in film), it was also somehow heartening because customers knew they could actually get a semi-intelligent opinion on film if they conversed with us. Sure, some of us were jerks, but there's really only so many times you can respond to "Can I rent movies if I'm not a member?" or direct someone to "Solaris, with the ER guy in it" before getting pissed off.
Your condemnation of Mr. Kim is correct. The man is a shady businessman who treated his workers like indentured servants. But maybe you should have considered the factors before heaping even more abuse on the staff. Unless of course, you were the ones complaining about Solaris. Considering your film reviews, this might not be too far off base.
Deidra Garcia, Manhattan
Some Xian Hick From Texas
Thank you so much for including Graydon Carter on your "50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers" list (3/30). Especially the words, "This is the business of the educated New York media creature with a society profile: Laugh at middle America for declaring itself a maggot for Jesus, but at the same time commission Annie Leibovitz to shoot Brad Pitt in the pose of Zeus or the angel Gabriel. At least Republicans only drop to their knees for God."
As a transplanted Texan journalist who never fails to be derided in this city because of her geographical origins, this quote embodies the incredible crap I've put up with from co-workers, co-students and more than a few "friends" over the past few years. Thank God someone besides me figured it out and had the nerve to print it.
Andrea Grimes, Manhattan
In Defense of Bill
You know, Bill O'Reilly's fair game for anything that comes out of his mouth, on his shows, whether it be radio or TV. But the remarks about his father were unnecessary and classless ("50 Most Loathsome New Yorkers 2005," 3/30). Everybody has a demon, or demons they battle, fromÊdifferentÊsources. And Bill is not the only one who got his demons from a parent. Unfortunately, many of us, after we grow up still are walking around with are heads in a sling. Abuse does that. Try it sometime! Now there are many things you can criticize O' Reilly for. His constant attack, of the democrats and liberalsÊfor everything. His distorted analogy, of why nobody should be helped out when they're sick and uninsured. Even though 90% of the people uninsured are people who work, or halved worked their ass off, but became too sick to continue. HisÊhypocritical holier than thou act on aÊdailyÊbasis. And so on.
There is no doubtÊBillÊis starved for attention. He shows this with consistency. Some people have said constantly, O'Reilly is arrogant, and in love with himself. But I see him in a completely different way. First of all he is not in love with himself. In fact nothing could be farther from the truth. Nobody sits on a show day after day, and every time he appears, on anybody else's show he has to constantly show clips of himself on the shows. It is sort of like,Êa little kid jumping up and down screaming, "Look at me!, Look at me!" This is not a man who loves himself. But deep down is a very insecure individual. And I personally don't define insecurity as weakness, but rather a symptom of being human! When your growing up in a household that makes you feel as if shit on a sidewalk is more worthy than you, it definitely will fuck up your head for life. When you do age you're either going to sit in a corner or be the complete opposite and draw as much attention to yourself as possible. Sadly, that corner became a very comfortable spot for me. And the sad thing is the person that Bill is trying so hard to impress is no longer walking the earth. But I don't care what his father was or how it affected Bill. You have no business bringing his father into any conversation piece in this manner. The bottom line is Bill O'Reilly is human and vulnerableÊjust like everybody else, no matter how he acts on his show. And if you want to give criticism for how he acts and what he saysÊon the TV screen, fine.ÊBut his personal, private life and his family members should be left off the chopping block. They are none of your, or anybody else's fucking business!
Linda Valerio, Michigan
Post-Pope Dribble
Excuse the lack of proper greeting and introduction, or not, at this point, I do not care. I am not Catholic in the least, however I do take serious offense to this ridiculously sacrilegious article. Whether it be a Jewish rabbi, or a Catholic pope, or even a homeless person on the street, making light of someone's death is simply a foul and disgusting action (Matt Taibbi, "52 Funniest Things About the Upcoming Death of the Pope," 3/2). Make sure you change the article's title to befit the name and life of the first person of extreme importance in Mr. Taibbi's existence minutes before their passing and publish that for him. I'm sure he'll appreciate it as much as many of your readers have appreciated this horrifying, sorry excuse for copy. It shames me to know that there are actually people in your establishment who take this either seriously or as a joke, and further embarrasses me to the core to think at one point in time I was actually proud to have been on a journalistic path. I'm also utterly astounded that as an editor, you and your superiors would allow such utter garbage to even get past a thought coming out of his mouth!ÊHowÊappalling!
Thera Sailor, Queens
One More Drop
Just finished your "The 52 Funniest Things About the Upcoming Death of the Pope" (Matt Taibbi, 3/2). Boy, your paper sure has a lot of class.
It's like a woman I heard in a restaurant say about Siegfried and Roy: "The tiger bit him on the neck because he was gay, and gay men love to be necked." Too bad it didn't rip her throat out instead. Then we wouldn't have had to listen to her bag of vomit.
Philip Normandin, via email
When knit picking hooligans attack
I am writing to inform you of a gross mistake made in the Spike Vrusho article I found in the News Hole("Foul Territory," 4/6).
The article states that Real Madrid and Glasgow Celtic have the most championships in sport. However the team with the most is in fact Glasgow Rangers, whose 101 titles is in fact an officially recognized Guinness World Record. I find this to be a glaring oversight on the part of the journalist involved and would hope that this matter would be recognized in any future articles to be featured in your publication. However, as the article states, next time you are looking for "some pride and passion from the Scots" then you should indeed contact Rangers, the greatest team in the world, a fact that many thousands of fans (and potential readers) in North America and Canada will happily testify to.
Neil Strachan, Scotland
Having read what was an interesting article by Spike Vrusho, I would like to add a few points ("Foul Territory,"4/6). Glasgow Rangers FC have won 50 Premier League Championships, the Scottish Cup 31 times, the Scottish League Cup 24 times and the European Cup Winners Cup once. This makes a total of 106 competition wins, more than Real Madrid, and certainly more than our poor neighbors Glasgow Celtic. But like it said in the article-"Next time we're looking for some pride and passion from the Scots, we'll call the Glasgow Rangers instead."
Neil Gray, Manhattan
I just wanted to point out that as far as I am aware, Glasgow Rangers, the team I support, is in fact the most successful sports team in history (Spike Vrusho, "Foul Territory," 4/6). It was brought to my attention that Vrusho appears to believe the two-bit team down the road, Celtic, were in fact more successful. If you could please point out that we are by far a better and more successful team, I would be very grateful. I ask because it pains me to think there are people on the face of the earth who actually consider Celtic better.
If Mr. Vrusho finds he needs proof, ask him to contact ex-Rangers player, Claudio Reyna, a USA international. I'm sure he would be able to convince Mr. Vrusho on which side of Glasgow plays better football. I also believe, should Mr. Reyna be unavailable, a call to Mr.ÊDrew Carey might resolve the issue, he being a recent Glasgow Rangers convert if I am not mistaken. I stop short of asking for a printed apology in your next issue.
Chris Steel, Boston
The author states that Real Madrid with 87 championships total and Glasgow Celtic with 83 championships total, are respectively one and two in the world (Spike Vrusho, "Foul Territory," 4/6). This is wrong and it is Glasgow Rangers, who hold the world record, with 106 championships. I hope you correct this error, and publish the correct record in your publication.
K. Macgregor, Scotland