The Mail
Or, Bake Some Bread
The drugs, by the way, are no excuse. Let's pretend that sometimes I write something that isn't very good. I know that's quite the suspension of disbelief, but we'll never get anywhere if we don't hypothesize. I don't publish it. I realize it sucks and I erase it. Just a thought.
Michael Munoz, Manhattan
We're Gonna Need It
Re: "MSG DDT" (The News Hole, 3/9): Ah, yes, the old poison-gas experiments. If memory serves, similar doings occurred back in the 50s and/or 60s, and they even released bacteria in the subways. Good luck.
T.L. Lane, Brooklyn
HST vs. WFB
Thanks, Matt, for putting Bill Buckley in his place for his cowardly diss on our lost literary legend, HST (Matt Taibbi, "Gonzo Revised," 3/16). Thompson has more literary wit in his dead left testicle than Buckley does in his whole frail body.
Thompson would certainly relish in the comment that his passing "may definitively mark the conclusion of the choatic 'baby boomer' generation," and thousands of MFA candidates will have to find a new muse to imitate in relating their hip, post-modern ennui to the next generation. But Thomspon no more represented 60s counterculture as Dennis Miller does the NFL. He was a shocked and confused (albeit uproariously funny) onlooker, a begrudging participant, perhaps as disgusted with the whole enterprise as Buckley himself. But he had fun with it.
Why, Matt, can't the Buckleys of the world be the ones to blow their heads off? Alas, he'll squeeze every last breath and sentence out of his tired old frame, the superhero of mediocrity. But time will honor the deserving, and Thomspon deserves the immortality he's just inherited. And Johnny Depp will never play William F. Buckley. Need I say more?
Peter J. O'Reilly, Manhattan
Fear of a Black Planet
White writes what many don't want to hear-music affects the many masses ("Souled Out," 3/2).
What that Source "bozo" fails to understand is that the evolution of the music is working in his favor and not the people who buy it. I never heard punk rock or roots reggae till high school and just loved it. What would a kid from the 'hood be doing rocking to this? White shows how the theme and message of the music between the Ramones and Public Enemy (throw in Burning Spear for dub lovers) was one and the same.
"We're Fed Up with This!" speaks to life, poverty, emotion, and that has no color lines. To idolize 50 Cent, a former crack dealer, and not Chuck D, a pioneer of the movement, is just plain stupidity and just selling your soul. I remember when all you got out of a Rap record deal was a few gold chains for the videos and maybe, pay your momma's rent. With respect to the Source, ask that bozo why they never feature true talented artists from the underground, or why they never did a Christian hip hop cover? Let's face it; anyone with a few brain cells left after the 90s knows what this is-garbage. And the music will evolve and we'll all get fed up and throw our Ja Rule and 50 albums in the fireplace where they belong. Don't worry kids, the fumes will stimulate the lack of creativity for the new millennium.
Rich O., Manhattan
The Church of Godard; Yes
Where does Armond White worship? Has he seen Because of Winn Dixie?
Andy Irvine, Manhattan
I Like Spike
Pope schmope. Thanks for bringing back Spike Vrusho and giving me a reason to pick up your paper again ("Stations of the Crosscheck," 3/9).
Alex B., Brooklyn
Stalker
Hey, great work on Kurt Andersen ("I Spy a Sellout," 2/23).ÊIf there's a way for Matt to see this, tell him to keep up the good work. I've been a huge eXile fan for years and I also read the Buffalo Beast. Anyway, just wanted to give him a shout-out from b-lo. We miss the old bar daks though.
Richard Bubb, Buffalo
Fine, Says Fats
Excellent article on HST ("Gonzo Revised," 3/16). Matt Taibbi should be commended for this fine piece of work.
Fats Miller, High Point, NC
Looking Ahead
Russ Smith quotes Tish Durkin that if Hillary Clinton ran for president she would lose ("The Women of 2008," 3/16). I am tired of people in the mediaÊadvising Democrats who they should select for president. It is premature to draw such conclusions.
In 2004 the Democrats nominated John Kerry because they were told he would be more electable than Dean. As a result they nominated someone who failed to arouse the base and whose positions on the issues were murky. Democrats did not vote for Kerry; they voted against Bush-which was a certain prescription for failure.
If Hillary were the nominee, she wouldÊexcite the base and, unlike Kerry, would have a clear message.
In 2008 there might be other Democratic candidates, as well,Êwho couldÊfit this description. But it is far too early to count Hillary out. And one thing about the Clintons-they know how to win elections.
NAME withheld, Manhattan
You Must Be Polish
You call this a newspaper? You and your fellow misfit writers at New York Press, who obviously couldn't get real jobs in journalism (which explains why you work for a no-name piece-of-crap pseudo-newspaper) should all rot in hell. You are the real jokes, not an old man who has spent his life changing the world in which we live for the better. Fuck yourselves.
Martin Janowiecki, via email
Un-Pope-ular
Re: "Keep Pope Alive" (3/9): Am I the only person who finds it extremely ironic that people were outraged by Matt Taibbi's mocking of the head of an organization that has admitted to supporting the Nazis (The Vatican), when they themselves are now acting like Nazis and speech police and Humorless Hitlers who believe that minority speech must be curbed for offending people?
The Pope is basically the Hitler of religion, fostering discrimination against minorities (gays, women) all over the world and supporting child rape all over the world. (Oh, pardon me, "forgiving" the child molesters he employs.) (And as far as the Pope's "good intentions" go, I'm sure it'll make his ride to hell less bumpy.)
If these stupid Nazis sincerely support this stupid Nazi and they want "offensive" speech silenced (which is okay by me, because I find their speech offensive, and if we're going to punish offensive speech then let's start by arresting all these Nazis and their offensive speech!) they should move to Iran where their fellow religious psychopaths feel exactly the same. In the meantime, America stands for freedom, and anyone who has any objection to offensive speech should get their Nazi asses out of this free country.
Just the fact that the Pope and the rest of you silly liars support medical treatment for his Gimpness proves none of you believe any of your own bullshit. If the Pope isn't a phony, why doesn't he trust God's will and forsake medicine? (At least Christian Scientists keep their story straight!)
Dying of natural causes is too good for this despicable criminal. That said, um, I didn't find Taibbi's piece very funny either. Better luck next time.
Name Withheld, Brooklyn
Will You Work As Cheap As Those Criticisms?
Jim Knipfel is an idiot. And you are a bigger idiot for printing his drivel ("Meet Mr. Big Belly," 3/9). Humor? Sarcasm? Wit? Don't ask me. Forget trash; you should be covering the sewers, because your writing is shit. Sewers...shit...get it?
Whoa, maybe you can give me a job as a writer!
NAME withheld, Bronx
Maybe Both
There appears to be a factual error in Krassner's column ("Professor Stoolpigeon," 3/2). Particularly the sentence: "She attended Bradley University in Peoria at the same time Ward Churchill did."
As the writer and owner of pirateballerina.com, which aggregates documents, news articles and opinion pieces on Ward Churchill, I can find no reference anywhere that Churchill attended Bradley University.
Was this an oversight or typo on Krassner's part, or is there educational history about Churchill that has not made it to the general public?
NAME withheld, Manhattan
Insert Rice Pun Here
Russ Smith says: "Realistically, Rice has five problems that her supporters refuse to recognize, any combination of which would, when people actually vote, erode the Republican electoral domination of the South and any other red state that has a sizable number of social conservatives. In no particular order: she's black, a female, single, ambiguous about abortion and has never run for office.
These aren't detriments in states like New York, Illinois or California, but no Republican will win there anyway. Conservatives in Georgia, the Carolinas, Alabama, just to name a few, won't admit it publicly, but there are plenty of enthusiastic supporters of President Bush who just won't be capable of pulling the lever for a black woman who's never been married and isn't categorically pro-life. Their defections will tip normally guaranteed states to the Democratic candidate ('The Women of 2008,' 3/16)."
Couldn't this argument be easily reversed: Many black democrats and especially black female democrats may vote for a black female president, even if she is a Republican? Many people's votes are not based on rational convictions but on emotional prejudice and are easily swayed one way or the other.
NAME withheld, Brooklyn
All Right! We're "Literature"
I'm writing about Matt Tabibi's much-maligned "The 52 Funniest Things About The Upcoming Death of The Pope" (3/2). I'm a literature master's student up here in Canada, and also a still-faithful, though lapsed, Catholic.
To be honest, I found the article wonderful. It was hilarious and irreverent in all the most intelligent ways. My literature friends found it "too obvious," but they're pedantic, and not very funny. The contrast of the worldwide adoration of the pope with his sad, mortal shell-the violations of Catholic theology-the gory, rictus of death claiming once and for all the man who claims to speak directly for the Lord...it's all very perfectly, satirically hilarious. There's a literature term called "Rabelasian," from an author named Rabelais, who used to write the most revolting and absurd caricatures in his satires. When he was writing, people called him pedantic and obvious, and others reviled him. But many recognized him, loved him, and many still do today.
I love New York Press. It's phenomenal. If you ever want to spearhead an independent newspaper branch North of the border, I'll work for you for free.
Jeremy M. C., Toronto
The Point on Parking
I usually love Aaron Naparstek's work, but he missed the point in his piece defending Tax Hike Mike's umpteenth cash grab ("My Kingdom for a Parking Space," 3/16)-i.e., Mayor Bloomberg now forcing people to feed parking meters on Sunday, unlike his 107 classier predecessors.
1. This isn't Freddy vs. Mike, as both are hapless idiots. (Freddy for his silly and phony religious pandering, and Mike for nickel-and-diming NYC because the wasteful billionaire doesn't know how to budget frugally.)
2. One of the biggest lies about parking meters is that they are designed to encourage a "turnover" of parking spots to help the local economy. But people usually just feed the meters again-duh-and if the city sincerely cared about more open parking spots, they'd build more municipal parking garages-duh. (The dirty secret is that the one-hour meters are a crooked cash cow: The city writes over nine million parking tickets per year and almost all of them are for meters expired over 60 minutes! City Hall knows few shoppers can return in time. Ditto tourists, restaurant- and theater-goers and everyone else. It's almost entrapment!)
3. Of course making people feed the meters on Sunday adds seven million bucks to city coffers (and it still won't make a dent in the 600 million dollars plus we taxpayers will shell out just on the Jets stadium!) Taxing air and sunlight would generate even more money than Sunday meters, so why don't we try that? (Oh yeah: It would be outrageously wrong.)
4. The more taxes Bloomberg hikes, the more money it gives government to spend on secret, 22-percent pay raises (for MTA heads already earning $200K!), 1700 free cars (for non-emergency NYC staff!) and a City Hall where almost everyone who does a job that normally pays $35K earns over $100K. Bloomberg does not need a penny more from taxpayers because he already completely wastes 20 percent of our annual $48,000,000,000 [billion!] budget.
Christopher X. Brodeur, MayorBrodeur.org, Manhattan
Keep Your Head On
Shame on the New York Press for running Mike Weber's graphic of Hunter Thompson shooting his head off ("Gonzo Revised," 3/16). You have really sunk to the lowest level of mindless adolescent disrespect just for a laugh. It's not funny, guys, and Thompson's family and loved ones surely deserve an apology.
And what's this b.s. Matt Taibbi spouts that Thompson "...was never particularly interested in protecting the honor of his person"? Is that how the Press justifies dishonoring him with a gruesome front-page graphic and Taibbi's own lame "obituary," which quotes extensively from a bunch of right-wing hacks who together with all their readers never read a word of Thomson's writing? Just because the man liked to party and get trashed on drugs and booze in public doesn't mean that he wouldn't mind being pissed on by a bunch of adolescent journalist wannabes.
To say that "Thompson the man was irrelevant" to his writing proves that Taibbi is unequivocally clueless about the man and his legacy. For Chrissakes, "gonzo journalism," Thompson's gift to American Literature is all about subjectivity-the man put himself into the reporting, and told the most factual kind of story you'll ever see in journalism.
Ron Ostertag, Brooklyn
Falling Asleep At the Stake
Matt Taibbi: I almost cringe to watch Koyen, you and New York Press quail under the blows of the Catholic mob ("The 52 Funniest Things About The Upcoming Death of The Pope," 3/2). Given your tradition of gleefully dishing out insult, invective and abuse, I'm surprised by your weak-kneed reaction to the fulminations of a gang of blowhard religious zealots. Of course the primitive tribesmen of Roman Catholicism are going to go on the warpath when you poke fun at their Headsman. Don't you know what happens when you throw a rock at a beehive? (But unlike queen bees, the Catholic boss doesn't reproduce.) And while there are fellow travelers who find the authoritarianism of the Catholic Church (C.C.) useful, and make common cause with its (mostly) reactionary politics, I'm suspicious of missives that start out "I'm not a Catholic, but" or "as an atheist I think," and go on to say ,"I hate your guts for dissing the pope" or "It's an abomination that you refuse to venerate the Big Holy Man." Reminds me of all those rightists who claim to be ex-college radicals (like the execrable John Stossel) and other such phony ideological jujitsu tactics.
Taibbi's piece was puerile and unfunny, but that's not the issue. The issue is the oppressive taboo against non-veneration of the Catholics' Big Boss. I despise being subjected to this. I am not a Catholic, and that giant global cult has no right to impose its ridiculous bullshit on me. Or on you. (Infallible? The pope is just a man! He's no better than me-in fact he's worse! Besides, there is no "God" to begin with. It's a Wizard of Oz-style con game, run by a bunch of greedy power-mongers basing their ersatz "authority" on an imaginary being. They use fear of death to defraud people by selling them eternal life, which of course they cannot deliver. The fear of death is at the heart of their ruthless racket. They belong in jail, actually.)
The same damn thing happened when Sinead O'Connor properly tore up a photo of the "pope" on Saturday Night Live. Remember how the lynch mob pulled the same number? And that chicken-shit phony hipster Lorne Michaels, the boss of SNL, pissed on her with everyone else, denouncing his own guest, the coward. Just like in any totalitarian state, everyone must conform, and the cowards join in the ritual denunciations because they have no moral spines or character. Apparently you can ridicule presidents of the United States, but the "puke"-excuse me, "pope"-is sacrosanct! (How's that for juvenile?) You'd think we were living in Chile or somewhere.
Amazing the stranglehold this barbaric religion has. They aren't even a majority here.
New York Press should follow up with a serious piece on the crimes of the Catholic Church throughout history-like the hideous tortures, burning people alive, the wars of aggression, the murder of millions of people, the massive looting, and the suppression of science for centuries. If not for the C.C., we'd be centuries more advanced by now scientifically. Which means that the cause of aging would be known-and counteracted, so that we would live much, much longer. Thanks to the C.C., we are all going to die. (But if you submit to them like a docile sheep and give them your money, they'll get you into "heaven.")
As far as this particular "pope's" crimes, just look to his role in the U.S. terrorism in Central America in the 1980s. When the archbishop of El Salvador, Oscar Romero, was murdered by a U.S.-backed military death squad, the Pope went along with it and installed a pro-rich, anti-poor replacement in his stead. When he visited Nicaragua, under violent siege by the U.S. terrorist "contra" army, and the crowd begged for some words of succor or support from him in their order, he thundered "Silencio!" at them. He supported the terrorists who were butchering civilians and destroying what pathetic infrastructure the country had in order to destabilize the government there.
And then of course there's his insane attitudes about sex-no abortion, no birth control (women as breeding machines for the C.C.). Since he allegedly doesn't even have sex himself, he should butt the hell out of other people's sex lives. The C.C. is hell bent for leather to choke this planet with billions more people.
New York Press, stand up to these goons and their establishment allies. Your readers are mostly your kind of people anyway.
Jason Zenith, Manhattan