The Mr. Met Beatdown

As the flowers fight to make their way out of the cement cracks, minds are turning to baseball. And the baseball team that best represents this town is the New York Mets. No doubt Yankee fans in their too-cute navy-blue hats will howl at this claim. But hold on, Yankee boy, I can prove my point.

The Mets are more like New York because Shea Stadium-the house the Mets built badly-is a mess in constant need of repair, much like most city apartments. Even the bathroom plumbing is decrepit. The workers are rude. The Mets also have bad season after bad season, losing more than they win, just like most of us. When was the last time you won anything?

The Yankees, on the other hand, are like a small leafy town in the far reaches of Connecticut. They have all this faux history and myth and ghosts that haunt the stadium. If M. Night Shyamalan made a film about the Yankees and their Babe Ruth/Lou Gehrig/Mickey Mantle/Thurman Munson legends, the lead character would be some spoiled kid from Westchester, sitting in his box seat telling his father, "I see dead Yankees?"

The Yankees are nothing more than southern carpetbaggers. Until the 1903 season, the team now known as the Yankees was playing in Baltimore. When they came to New York they were known as the Highlanders. In 1913 they changed their name to the Yankees, and 10 years later left the Hilltop Park on 168th St. and Broadway for the north marshes of the Bronx.

Proof of Yankee disdain for this city is forever enshrined in the team symbol. Designed by Tiffany's, it was once used to honor the heroes of the NYPD. The Yankees stole it. But the Mets skyline logo remains an original New York work of art. In it is a church spire, the Williamsburg Savings Bank (once Brooklyn's tallest building), the Woolworth building, the Empire State building and the U.N. building. That's New York.

As far back as 1883, the American Association had a team named the NY Metropolitans. That's right-the Mets have been in this town since 1883. In 1890 the league changed its name to the National League and the Mets became the Giants. Later, that same league started a Brooklyn franchise known as the Bridegrooms, possibly the weirdest baseball name to ever come down the pike. That was later changed to the Dodgers. When the NY Mets reformed in 1962, they honored their past and took on the orange of the Giants and the blue of the Dodgers.

In 2005 we have a revived Mets team that Yankee fans are despairingly calling Los Mets. Yeah, that's right, we got Latins and plenty of them. We got Pedro Martinez, who just needs a new midget. We got Carlos Beltran, Mike Cameron, David "White Boy" Wright, Tom Glavine, Jose "Ouch, my Hammy" Reyes, Kaz "Sushi" Matsui, and Mike "See, I'm not gay, I married a Playboy model" Piazza.

The Mets are New York, and you Yankee suburban frontrunners will just have to deal with it. Let's play some baseball. I'll see you out in Flushing. The 7 train runs just fine.

-C.J. Sullivan