The Unexpectedly Stupid

Crime-wise, it was a week full of surprises-especially for those who didn't pause a moment to consider some, well, pretty obvious possibilities.

According to the Post, around 5:30 on Tuesday, June 21, a man with a mind toward the easy haul entered a Commerce Bank on 6th Ave. and demanded cash, hinting he had a gun. The teller complied, passing him an estimated $1100. The thief allegedly then concealed the moolah by shoving it down his pants. Too bad for him he hadn't stopped to consider the chances (pretty good, it turns out) that the teller had secreted an exploding dye pack in there with the bills.

Amazing thing is, he still got away.

Police are currently looking for a man who walks funny.

Early Sunday morning, 31-year-old Queens resident Ronald Lyons was driving in Elmhurst with his gal and a friend when he got into a minor accident. Surprising for this day and age, everyone involved did the right thing, exchanging information and waiting for the police to show up. After a brief consultation, the officer on the scene told Lyons he could continue on his way.

But a few blocks later when he came upon a group of emergency workers swarming around the scene of a major head-on collision, well, something just went a little kablooey. Ignoring the fact that accident victims were still being treated right there in the road, Lyons allegedly insisted that he had to drive right through the accident scene. And when a firefighter stood in his path in an effort to stop him, Lyons reportedly hit the gas.

The fireman stepped aside as the car lurched toward him, reached through Lyons' window, cut the ignition and took the keys, despite Lyons' efforts to slap his hands away.

Lyons, who now faces multiple charges, had done time before, and was last released two years ago. As his mother told the Daily News, "every time he tries to do the right thing, something stupid happens."

"He just wigged out," one neighbor said of Carlos Belgrave, a 58-year-old Cambria Heights resident. That's one way of putting it, we guess. Others described him as "belligerent," which seems to hold up, too.

On Tuesday morning, Marion McGrady, 59, who lives in the apartment above Belgrave, knocked on his door and asked if she could borrow a hammer. This seemed odd, as the two had allegedly argued many times in the past. But Belgrave apparently invited her inside, then excused himself to go get one. A moment later he returned, hammer in hand, and began banging Ms. McGrady on the head with it. When McGrady's younger sister ran in and tried to stop him, he started whacking her with it, too.

When both women were bleeding and on the floor, he went into the bedroom, dropped the hammer into a bucket of bleach, then tried to flee. That's when cops arrived and arrested him.

Both women were hospitalized, and Belgrave (a vet who allegedly has trouble remembering to take his medication) is facing felony harassment, assault and weapons charges.