This Week's Horoscope

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

I'm a fan of the concept of multiple soulmates. The premise is obvious; instead of only one special someone out there who somehow completes you, there are numerous amazing somebodies who bear the potential of achieving soul-shaking union with you, and the pool of potential profound heart-companions is ever-changing, depending on your own dynamic persona. This scenario is heartening for those who worry about never finding their one and only, but embracing it can have unlikely (but still possible) consequences, like the one that faces you this week. Yep?at least two of your potential soul-buddies (and maybe more) are lining up for their rightful piece of your sweetness, and even though they may be seeking intimacy with different parts of you, juggling them (or scheduling them, even) could prove your greatest ongoing challenge this year.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

The biggest movie in Japan is an anime picture called Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi, featuring a pudgy girl trapped in a haunted bathhouse, trying to reverse a curse that transformed her parents into pigs. I love that a fantastical animation can totally blow the next highest-grossing movie (Titanic) right out of the water. Anyway, it's right in line with your week?where the fantastical and fanciful will be far more important, appealing and successful than anything remotely real.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

As Mars ditches your sweet spot, headed for home base in Aries-land, your special combustion-busting abilities return. Having a spiritual fire extinguisher at your disposal is neither good nor bad; how you use it is more important. While inferno-quelling powers could be useful to help keep a friend from burning out in one dramatic but ineffectual flash of ignominious glory, like a whole-life premature ejaculation, employing it (even unknowingly) to put out the flames of enthusiasm wherever they spark forth is not where it's at. Okay, to recap: do temper the unreasonable excitement in your most eager companions with a little prudent blaze-pruning; don't bury them in a mound of suffocatingly toxic foam.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

Getting chomped by a baby rattlesnake is much more dangerous than a bite from an adult rattler. That's because young serpents don't know how to regulate the amount of venom they release per bite; instead of the measured dose that a fully grown snake would give you, they just squirt it all out, delivering a much more potent injury. Why am I giving you a mini ophiology lesson? Because, like a baby rattler, you've recently been armed with a tool that could be much more puissant than you need to address your current situation. Please don't blow your wad all at once; doing so could have drastic, unintended consequences: First, you could wreak damage you never intended, and second, you'll regret it when you need some of that magic juice later.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Life just mercilesslessly dishes out those moments when you feel trapped in an airless room, with a sign persistently and aggravatingly blinking EXIT over a doorless brick wall. It's a horrible feeling, and the taunting non-exit EXIT sign only makes it worse. Unfortunately, there's no secret, heretofore undiscovered way out this week. But there's good news to accompany the bad: just because there's no magical escape route now doesn't mean there won't be sometime soon?probably sooner than you think.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

God's Army, a mysterious rebel force fighting for the rights of an ethnic minority, the Karen, was led for years by a pair of preadolescent twins, Johnny and Luther Htoo. They became famous a couple years back when pictures of them smoking and carrying assault rifles were circulated worldwide. The rebel groups they commanded have sought Karen autonomy for half a century in Myanmar and Thailand. Their followers, subscribers to the Karen blend of Christianity, Buddhism and animism, avowed that the twins had magical powers and were impervious to bullets. The people around you are also eager to believe in the mystical strength of your internal twinhood. Let them; it'll do their hearts?and you?good.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Ladies and Gentlemen: Cyborgs walk among us. Literally. Of course, the drama is for effect?mostly the reality is limited to those with high-tech, microprocessor-laden prosthetic limbs, like the C-Leg manufactured by Otto Bock, or self-contained artificial hearts created by Abiomed. Although having parts of yourself replaced or enhanced through synthetic means goes against your tradition-oriented sensibilities, I urge you to embrace it?not because you're about to lose an arm or anything, but because you shouldn't refuse any chance to improve yourself. For instance, you could start right now by complementing your memory (which has been a bit patchy lately) with a Palm Pilot, or at least getting a watch that can help you keep track of your ticking biological clock.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

Area 51, a remote Nevada military base, received widespread attention back in 1947 when a former employee, Bob Lazar, described entering an alien vessel. The area around Roswell's Area 51 has spawned a legion of legends and pop culture (including a tv show with a cultishly devoted fanbase). Like the self-aggrandizing legends you're being fed by someone longing to be close to you, this one has a conventional explanation (that the area is used to develop and test new military aircraft technology). But since the truth is elusive and unknowable anyway, why not believe in the wilder version? It's more fun.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Cambodia's Prime Minister Hun Sen recently ordered a moratorium on all commercial logging in the country, vowing to preserve what's left of the forests there, and threatening to arrest and shut down any company that wishes to flout the new rule. Right on. There are whole ecosystems breathing grateful sighs of relief, and we should, too. Although responsible logging can be a long-lasting and sustainable industry and income-provider, in most parts of the world (and even here in North America, some would argue) that's just not the way it's going down. Follow his example. You're selling off your own natural resources at a devastating bargain rate. Quit it?or at least up the price.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

We're living in science-fiction-y times, where the fantastical becomes actual. We've got cloned animals, cyborgs (see Cancer), fanatical religious governments, armies led by children (see Gemini) and new means of exploring the very nature of reality, and that's only a few examples of my point. How does this relate to you? The experiences you're dreaming of are just as far-fetched as some of the things I've listed above?and just as possible. That they have more to do with the supposedly mundane world of human relationships than with curing cancer or cloning your dog is irrelevant. Anything's possible, especially this week.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Recently I've been obsessed with Grace. I'm not talking about the quality; instead I refer to the incredible recording by late Scorpio Jeff Buckley. It gives me so much hope that a guy who's been gone almost five years can still move me so powerfully; hope that the things we leave behind can still carry us forward and cause unpredictable ripples of action (like me writing this horoscope). You've got a long time yet, but since you're primed and ready to anyway, why not start work now on the creations that'll spread your goodness for years to come?

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

I'm relishing winter, contrary to my pessimistic predictions. Braving the cold is pleasantly thickening my Cali-thinned blood. Never mind the lovely spiritual metaphors the four seasons embody so perfectly, I'm digging the ritual of assuming and removing the cavalcade of layers that makes the freezing cold bearable. Something about taking off so many outer coverings has a soul-awakening side effect?I think a few emotional barriers get carried along with, like a t-shirt static-magnetized to the inside of a sweater. May I recommend the same mini-ritual for you: regardless of the actual temperature, put on and wear for a while as many layers as you can stand. When you take them off, hopefully you'll be just open enough to receive the sweetness that's coming to you this week.