This Week's Horoscope

You're a fire-breathing dragon. When the sun and Mars engage in supernoval fucking this week, it would behoove you to consider ways to keep your head cool; the psychological equivalent of a helmet packed in ice would be ideal. Letting temperatures get so high that the mercury explodes from the thermometer will lead to messes you'd rather not have to clean up. Still, there's no need to go glacier-hiking in Antarctica. Your astrologically agitated state is both curse and blessing. Don some asbestos gloves and take your inner Draco for a walk on a flame-retardant leash. Let him eat some yappy little dogs, corporate thieves or corrupt politicians?just keep him off big buildings and the people you love.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You're most at ease when you're swamped with chosen duties and responsibilities?it's free, unscheduled time that makes you nervous. With Mercury at last under your dominion, subject to your strict control, your timetables should be as accurate, action-packed and stress-free as they ever get. Although your standards require you to be more punctual than a London train, and your appetite for bustle means you're as busy as an ER nurse at Christmas, try to take a minute every now and then to enjoy the commotion anyway.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

With missives regarding my imminent high-school reunion clogging my e-mail box (don't worry, I'm not going), it's no wonder I'm thinking about homecomings. Or maybe it's that the sun, Mercury, Uranus and your mama (Venus) are all in their domestic signs right now. What is home to you? Is it whatever you've created since you left your folks'? Or do you still long for Mom's home cooking? If home is someplace you can still go, then travel to or make contact with it this week. And if home seems lost to you forever, begin contemplating what it would take to fashion a new one that will last you a long, long time.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

So, do you have yours yet? Don't act coy, you know what I mean: your tattoo! Apparently, it's de rigueur for Scorps to get a tiny version of your namesake inked on your pelvises, advertising your Pluto-ruled prowess to anyone with eyes on your crotches. For supposed loners, this is an awful lot of solidarity. Scorps generally have trouble sharing great spans of intimate territory with one another. Still, you could probably stand to develop or deepen a few of your Scorpionic connections this week. After all, there are certain places that only your intrepid tribesmates go?having companionship in these slightly scary situations could be interesting. Keep your eyes peeled for the telltale Mark of the Scorpio, and when you see it, lower your stinger, approach and make friends.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

It may be frustrating to pay for stuff you used to get for free, but indulge yourself this week. Self-sacrifice won't serve our purposes right now. You need to keep spirits high in order to successfully tackle the task I'm charging you with: Turn the increasingly more prevalent economy of scarcity on its head, please, and reinstate or reinvent one of bounty and generosity. Karmic laws dictate that you must give to receive, and since you have more good juju to spare than anyone else right now, we need you to dole it out?and be patient when it takes a while to come back to you. Give to give; you'll get a whopping bonus when you've forgotten it's coming to you.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

A missile isn't the best way to send a message. First off, it's overkill. Secondly, although the point is clear, it denies choice to the recipients regarding whether or not to be receptive to it. Since you're in need of willing allies, not reluctant subjugates, soundly reject all the aggressive strategies being proposed to you on so many fronts. Let your motto be the one about honey being more appealing to flies than vinegar is, and plot all the ways you can seduce, entice and otherwise bribe your adversaries to consider (and possibly adopt) your point of view.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Your mantra this week is: It all balances out. Although this may seem like a Libran sentiment, it more correctly applies to you Aquarians right now. The whole cliched business of new doors opening when old doors slam shut is especially true in your case. Your life's equilibrium is unshakeable right now (unfortunately forbidding dramatic advances as well as setbacks); however, trusting that gives you a peculiar sense of freedom. You don't have to kill yourself ineffectually trying to get ahead; nor do you have to cling to the things you'd like to keep. Since later this year you're in for so much riotous change that even your adaptable head will spin, enjoy this Cruising Zone while it lasts.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

My Pisces friend Peter's studio was struck by lightning. It came in through a skylight and zapped every unprotected thing in the whole building. He's not arrogant enough to believe that some vengeful Wielder of Lightning Bolts was out to get him (a conclusion an excitable Aries or persecuted Cancer might leap to). I urge you to follow his example; as tempting as it may be to feel like the universe is out to get you, it's simply not true: you're merely the "victim" of some unfortunate coincidences. Still, like any even slightly evolved Pisces, you should be able to glean some important lessons from even these unlucky happenings; Peter, for example, put surge protectors on every outlet.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

You may feel like you have enough charismatic personal power to rocket to the moon this week, but that would be misleading. You actually have enough shimmering magnetism to fuel a trip much farther than that. Set your sights more boldly than you have been, or you'll be wasting a rare opportunity to see parts of the universe you'd never bothered to imagine before. Use the strongest telescope you can get your hands on, identify the destination of your ambition and aim exactly that high. Don't worry about getting back; people who plot their own fall from stardom never make it there in the first place.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

If you pencil in one more pool party, your chlorinated, wrinkled skin is going to stay just that pruny. I don't mean that literally, obviously. But I'm slightly alarmed at the insane extremes reflected in your packed social calendar. Constantly interacting and negotiating diverse crowds of people can be good practice for many situations, but neglecting to take much-needed time for recharging and contemplation is not only detrimental to your day-to-day psyche, it can form long-term habits that I fear will only hold you back in the long run. Don't become a hermit by any means?that would be worse?but chill out on being such a social butterfly, and hearken back to your homebody caterpillar days: wrap yourself in silk and curl up at home.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Don't get carried away with your own cleverness. This week, the force of your ideas may carry you along so compellingly that you'll find yourself on the roof with an innovative, home-designed giant slingshot, preparing to catapult your girlfriend's cat into the next county, before you pause to consider whether that's a smart move. Don't wait until you see the furry body arcing out of sight before you check yourself. The inspirations that are striking left and right might be brilliant, but taken out of the context of your life their impact is more likely to be negative than not.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

It's a great time to consider revisions and changes to The Cancer Show. That is, although what's going on inside you may not be substantially different, how you present it to the world could be formatted another way, depending on your agenda. With the new moon in showy Leo, you're able to workshop diverse approaches to performing the convoluted dances of your inner world. The objections you receive to your interactions generally reflect their presentation, not their content. Don't shrug helplessly in disappointment when people walk out of the "theater"; rework the show?in theory, it's possible for you to get standing ovations every time.

[caeriel@yahoo.com](mailto:caeriel@yahoo.com)