This Week's Horoscope

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

This week I refer you to your inspired fellow Sag, Stewart Brand. One of the LSD pioneers in the 60s (including being part of the recently late Ken Kesey's Acid Tests), Mr. Brand has too long and illustrious a career to detail here. But two of his most recent projects fascinate me: The All Species Inventory , an unprecedented attempt to catalog every living thing on the planet; and the Clock of the Long Now (www.longnow.org), a clock that will accurately keep time for 10,000 years. Both these ventures have very Sagittarian qualities?to expand the minds of all involved so they can absorb a bigger picture and take a longer view of it than ever before. He can't do it all, though. Don't neglect your Sagittarian duty: Expand, expand, expand?and concentrate on minds, not waistlines.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

My favorite film director, Jean-Pierre Jeunet, hit the big time with his film Amelie (which, while brilliant, doesn't deserve as much attention as the genius The City of Lost Children). Still, just as I've watched singer Ani DiFranco's dramatic rise to fame, I'm always pleased when someone I've followed from obscurity gets the attention I knew he deserved all along. You may be operating (for now) on a slightly smaller scale than those two, but you should still take inspiration from their examples: like them, your pool of admirers is about to multiply exponentially.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

I don't like things when they're watered down. I like my orange juice with plenty of pulp, my chocolate as dark and bittersweet as possible and guys with lots of rough edges. Sure, diluting anything might make it easier to consume, but I'd rather one mouthful of perfection than 10 mediocre tastes. Hey, you can go back to your milder (and probably more reasonable, or sustainable) ways next year, but my astrological prescription demands that you try my way until then: don't settle for partial satisfaction when 100 percent is yours for the asking.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

While archaeologists are heralding the discovery of bone tools at Blombos Cave, 200 miles east of Capetown, South Africa, as proof that modern human behavior is at least 30,000 years older than previously thought, I'd rather take their findings as evidence of a primal need to create beauty. The carefully polished and sculpted implements imply that the creators took great pains to make them lovely as well as functional. Although I doubt confirmation of such prehistoric inspiration will encourage many people to quit suppressing or denying their beauty instinct, I hope that you're not one of them. Tap into one of your oldest urges this week: don't settle for just making something when you can make it beautiful, too.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

"Aries never gets anything good in the horoscope department," she gripes, then suggests: "Is it because we're so great that no one wants to let us have it easy?" Maybe. I hadn't realized you guys were having such a hard time (this particular Aries was on a date with two?yep, two?charmers, while toting a devoted love poem from her boyfriend waiting back home). May I suggest that no one is actually giving you crap? Instead, since you're so used to residing inside a veritable cornucopia of good fortune, whenever anything isn't quite up to the richness you've become accustomed to, you notice it as something bad. It may be easier to count the negative things in your life (since they are fewer), yet I insist: count the blessings instead.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

She's so mean that babies bite her. She's got perfectly mirrored crescent scars from her last run-in with infant avenger. Even vote-hungry politicians, kindly grandmothers and animated teddy bears have assailed her. So why would you care that much, let alone believe her, when she delivers such a callous assessment of you and yours? Don't waste time pointing out her hypocrisy. She's not worth even that much energy. Trust in your own good judgment?the part of you that's telling you to ignore her and move on.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

Your request for special treatment hit Fairy Godmother HQ and made a big splash. They thought it was hilarious; within minutes it'd been xeroxed, faxed and e-mailed to every division. Even fabled princesses had to obey some rules ("the chariot reverts to pumpkin at midnight"). Your memo demanding an unprecedented extension on your Spiritual Evolution deadline was funny enough. When you added the bit about needing some leeway on the Love Potion Limit, you had godmothers busting seams and rolling around on the floor knocking over wand stands. But your postscript about desperately needing just one extra wish this year turned tears of hilarity to those of sadness, and prompted this response: "Thanks for all the fun, but if you haven't figured out this year that you have the power to grant your own wishes, we're sorry to have failed you so badly."

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Cancerians love holidays. Whether it's Christmas or Chanukah or New Year's or whatever, most Cancers get very excited?it's an excuse to do at least three of your favorite things: cook for lots of people, see family and friends and be sentimental. That's why I implore you to resist the griping and stressing you're notorious for around the holiday season. While you and I know that it's part and parcel of the hubbub you adore, to an uneducated observer it might actually look like you resent the holiday season. This week, as you scramble to accommodate and care for all the people you love, make sure they know you adore doing it.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

The reviews for Roy Jenkins' biography of Winston Churchill speak more about Roy himself than about the quality of his book (although they mention that, too). But the chief concern seemed to be Mr. Jenkins' worthiness to write about the man who Isaiah Berlin called "the largest human being of our time." A lesser man, they implied, wouldn't be able to see the complicated greatness that was Churchill. Similarly, there are those who doubt your fitness for the task you're considering taking on. That's ridiculous. The fact that your detractors are daunted by your ambition reflects on the size and scope of their souls, not yours.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

You've been like an emotional rogue cop lately, taking your big guns and going on a mad rampage of the city, taking down apparent heart-criminals left and right. Your vigilante version of therapy has awakened more than one shut-down life-slumberer. But as good as it feels to call people on their shit and force them to answer to your righteous enlightenment-inducing inquiries, you may be ignoring the most important work of all. Hint: try turning your soul-opening Buddha gun on yourself.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

Most Libras snored through history classes in high school and college. While I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume your disinterest reflects your passionate involvement in the all-important present moment, I'd like to redirect your attention to recent history?let's say the last five years or so. Ignoring or denying the past isn't quite the same as simply not dwelling in it. You'd do well to brush up on some relevant facts and dates so you can avoid the harsh mistakes made by other people (and even yourself) before. This week, spend a little time studying. Trust me, the other way to learn this lesson is much, much harder.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

The dog ain't growling at you because of the bullshit his owner is spouting (crap about seeing auras or reading your true intentions). While I'm not averse to the idea that some special beasts might possess this ability, that's not the case here. More likely, you have a different color skin or a deeper voice than that Rottweiler's used to, or he's picking up on the familiar body language of his owner. In any case, you shouldn't take others' warnings about your own dangerousness too seriously. We all know you're a badass, but you don't need a warning label, especially from someone who's willing to project his own feelings about you onto his dog, or spouse, or boss.