This Week's Horoscope

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

It's rare when affairs of the heart fall in line with those of the brain. That is, we can often tell what's best for ourselves, but fail to do it. You know how it goes: "If only I could fall in love with him; he adores me!" This week, miraculously, that ain't your problem. Count yourself lucky. Emotion and logic working together is an uncommon and beautiful thing. While you have them both in the same car agreeing on a destination, don't hesitate. Slam the gas pedal to the floor and go go go!

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

Glued to the set watching the aftermath of the World Trade Center's destruction instead of writing today, I realized I wasn't writing because I couldn't write. Nothing seemed important enough to write about. "Write about that," suggests a friend. But how to refer to something so huge without trivializing it? Anyway, I finally realized that my dilemma was similar to yours. Sometimes your internal flow is so powerful that going counter to it is like trying to wade through a flash flood. You're more likely to be swept away than get where you're going. This week, don't resist your mental deluge. Instead, jump in and start paddling like mad. You should be able to avoid hitting anything too dangerous as you rush "downstream." Once this mindstorm dries up in the sunlight of the day-to-day, you can find your way to dry land and get back on course.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

You're about as easy to care for as your average philodendron: forget to water them for a month, they're fine; drown them, they're still fine. They might even survive weeks in a sunless basement. But just because you're so low-maintenance doesn't mean you don't have needs. Even those hardy houseplants have ideal conditions that don't include some of the things you've put up with sans complaint. You refuse to be a wallflower in any other circumstance; don't be afraid to bitch now. Squeaky wheels get grease. Get lubed up this week, so you don't crack.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Sing to me, my little caged songbird. Yours is a nice prison, with golden bars and gourmet organic seeds and fresh newspaper every day. Your diamond-encrusted mirrors make your imaginary companions seem like celebrities, and the view is superb. You've even become used to the periodic wing-clippings. It's gotten to be a kind of joke: even if you had the opportunity to fly, you wouldn't know what to do. I don't believe it, though. This week the gilded door is swinging open. Whip out those cached pinfeathers and fly, baby. I believe you know exactly where you want to go and how to get there. Prove me right.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

Adding a little art and beauty to your week will enhance it out of all proportion to the amount of effort required to do so. Crank open the floodgates to your creative side; use it to get out of your head for a while, and into your less-visited heart and body. Your recent minor rut relates to a dearth of new experiences. When stuck doing the same old thing, give it a fresh twist: try working to some drum 'n' bass or commuting to Stereolab. And when you have a free moment, attempt something untried that will have you stimulated on more than a few levels, like naked full-body painting sessions.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

This week you may be visited by an oft referred-to but never-seen source of authority, greatness or benevolence. Hey, don't freak. I'm not talking Ammachi, the Dalai Lama or Tony Blair. I mean, who are you, the Pope? Your visitation is likely to be on a less grand scale than those personages. However, its personal relevance is likely to be far superior. That is, you're more likely to glean something meaningful from your meeting than from one with the Prime Minister of England. Prepare yourself for your brush with greatness, and try not to act too surprised when it comes from a totally unexpected source.

My roommates have taken to nagging me about "Sign Language." "Finished your column yet?" they'll ask if they haven't seen me for a while, like a half-hour. I know they mean well, and I probably do need a kick in the ass to help me transcend the distraction of terrorist attacks on my town. Your friends have developed some similar habits, which is what prompted me to commiserate. Try not to get too annoyed at them. Since calling them on it would only seem like a feeble attempt to distract them from what you haven't done, why not get yourself two steps ahead of them? Finish off your duties before they have a chance to ask. I guarantee: a week or two of smug confirmation from you will shut them up for a while, allowing you and me to return to our slacker ways.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

I hear Vancouver is way cool, and Toronto has an excellent reputation as well. Canada has a lot going for it: a quality of life that's easily on a par with the U.S. (if not better, considering the Canadian healthcare system), without the high-profile political and economic pseudo-dominance that would make it a target for attacks like those visited on Manhattan and the Pentagon. But, although the thought crossed my mind, I'm not seriously considering moving out of New York. In this case, and yours, running from a threat won't solve anything. Although our fears are legit, worth acknowledging and even expressing, acting on them would be counterproductive and essentially pointless. Don't give their instigators the satisfaction.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

While you anxiously chug coffee to prevent that caffeine addiction headache and suck down nicotine for similar reasons, you might not notice some of the good habits you're letting slip. You were doing so well there for a while, maintaining things that kept you vibrant, healthy and creatively prolific. You may not have experienced much of a detrimental effect yet, but you will soon?unless you kick-start those beneficial practices again. This week, remember what feeds you?on every level?and stuff yourself full of it.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

As much as you'd love to be as uncomplicated and wholesome as a character from a classic family film (and you do manage to pull of the Mary Poppins thing every once in a while), life is simply too messy to let you stay in that mode for long. Besides, it's unrealistic to expect that of yourself. You can't be sweet, generous, wise and optimistic all the time. Trying to would be just as bad as letting yourself wallow too long in one of your more dismal moods. Since you're likely to run the gamut of outlooks from Pollyanna to Grinch, go with it.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

The smoke is clearing now. People are finally sorting through their feelings about the destruction of one of New York's most distinctive landmarks. Like the World Trade Center, one of your accomplishments (though on a less grand and dramatic scale) was cruelly shot down and basically destroyed. The personal enormity of your tragedy will take awhile to wrap your head around, but don't mourn too long. Though its value is greatly diminished, what it once was can never be erased. Keep that in mind, and start from there when you begin to build your next outstanding achievement.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Ouch! Two pieces of hate e-mail in one week. One was from an anxious Virgo who wished I'd stop calling Virgos uptight. S/he (it was unsigned, like most of my negative mail) assures me that s/he and most other Virgos are not actually uptight. Well, thanks for the e-mail. You can cross that off your list. I sure have learned my lesson. It pales next to the last one I learned?the one I'm passing along to you: the difference between the way you're perceived and the way you think you are is Karen Carpenter-esque in its enormity. Don't be mentally anorexic this week. Just take a deep breath and be the jolly, good-hearted and easy-going fat person I know you have inside.

[Caeriel@yahoo.com](mailto:caeriel@yahoo.com)