This Week's Horoscope

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)

In Nepal they call him Yeti; in British Columbia, he's Sasquatch. Legends and sightings from different regions around the world of our supposedly long-lost, elusive primate cousin share remarkably consistent traits, as well as a similar lack of hard evidence. Is he just an image in our fertile collective unconscious? Perhaps he exists. I'm sure you hope so, since you've come across some giant, hard-to-explain footprints of your own archetypal dream: the indescribable (surprisingly non-hokey) force of true love. Don't bother trying to prove unequivocally that it exists. Like Bigfoot, putting it in a cage and showing it off would probably kill it. Illusion or not, it's there for you to enjoy. Are you really going to waste time trying to pin it to a board?

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)

A quiet little stream can change its entire landscape. In fact, in some ways it's more effective than a hurricane or tsunami?when people hear those coming, they board up windows or simply skip town. Your happy, supposedly innocuous rivulet is doing much to erode some key barriers, without anyone noticing (or preventing it). Keep it up and you might achieve something like the breakthrough you've been pushing for. Be careful, though. Breaching walls that hold you in (or out) could be highly disruptive?getting back on the course you pursued before might never be an option again.

Aries (March 21-April 19)

You're more amazing than a bevy of veteran circus performers, more brilliant than a whole lab full of physicists and more gorgeous than a fashion spread's worth of models. But this isn't about you. The key to popularity this week (and most weeks, actually) is only partially about how cool you are. The other side of that coin is what you bring out in other people; how they see themselves reflected in your eyes. Don't count on who you are being enough to keep people interested?what will keep them signed on for the long haul is who you let them be.

Taurus (April 20-May 20)

Sometimes doing what's right tastes grosser than Marmite or makes you feel more immediately villainous than a nonsmoker asking people to put out their cigarettes while you eat. Unfortunately, there's no avoiding it; no matter what you add to the Marmite it still tastes awful, and no matter how you put it, the smokers you extinguish will give you the evil eye (or just blow smoke in your face) the whole night. Still, don't let those deterrents keep you from what you know you should do. Not doing your duty will have consequences that, by contrast, will make the British yeast extract taste like candy, and reveal strangers' dirty looks as the insignificant pettiness they really are.

Gemini (May 21-June 20)

You're more impressively adept at avoiding collisions and obstacles than Frogger. I'm amazed at how undaunted you are by any road, no matter how chaotically traffic-filled. But it seems the key to your secret power is constant motion. What happens when you want to stop crossing roads? How do you kill that habitual inertia so you can hang out on this side of the street for a while? Oh, jeez, sorry. I don't have the answers to those questions. But since they deal with your actual desires, I suspect it's time to learn a new trick. What happens when you want to stop moving? You're about to find out.

Cancer (June 21-July 22)

Don't get too used to playing the role of seeker/student, even though it's been your primary one recently. Despite your admirable humility, your stash of juicy wisdom has attracted many supplicants. Don't ignore them or turn them away, just because you're in learning mode. You don't have to abandon your devoted quest for knowledge in order to dish out some of that homegrown insight. This week, the best way to learn things you never knew is to teach the things you've known forever.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)

You can't keep a good Leo down. Still, the universe has been kicking you in the stomach often enough to come close. Resist rolling into a protective ball and waiting until spring. It doesn't become you: you're the goddamn Lion! You're right, though. Just roaring won't scare off your assailants. Probably nothing you do is going to make them leave you alone. Still, you don't have to take it lying down. Tough times? Toughen up. Get rugged. If you start now, I predict not only undentable washboard abs by spring, but enough muscle to roar your loudest?and mean it.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)

Certain things fill you with a sense of well-being: a full tank of gas in your well-serviced car, a healthy buffer zone in your bank account, anything crossed off a list and a supremely well-organized room. We spend a lot of time focusing on the downside of your slightly neurotic nature, but the upside is that you get to fill your day with these little moments of sweet satisfaction. Sometimes we get big pleasures (and you've certainly got your share ahead), but sometimes?like this week?it's best to just settle for those tiny glowing bits of gratification wherever you can get them.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)

It's one thing to make the waitress choose your meal for you (something that happens because you can see the positive aspects of either delicious choice), but if you try that during the upcoming conjunction of your dreams and reality, you're going to be horribly disappointed. Your fairy godmother stands poised to shove whatever you want right into your life, but you've got to be clear on just what that is. If she hears, "Well that sounds good, but oh, that sounds so good, too!" she's going to say, "Screw this," and leave you to your indecision. I'd rather see you get your wish granted, especially when it's so easy: Make one. Not two, or one and a half or a subset of five. Make one wish.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)

I thought of you today as I attempted to resume my former habit of swimming every day. Because I was unfamiliar with the rules of my new pool, I didn't bring a swim cap, leaving me with a choice of two discarded ones: lavender with flowers or dashing hot pink. I grabbed one and jumped in. I don't give a shit. I'd rather get a workout than worry about fashion while I'm doing the breaststroke. Since I learned from you to not sweat the small stuff, I'm surprised that you've been getting snagged on so many minor details. Shift focus. I'll make the choice transparent: you either get what you really want with a few of the minutiae less than ideal, or you can insist on everything being exactly as you want it, and get nothing at all.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21)

Naturally you're familiar with the feast or famine concept. It's frustrating that your love life usually occupies one of these extremes, but you do have some recourse. While you can't change this basic tendency?it seems wired into the way things work?this week you can change which mode you're operating in. You'd have to be really overwhelmed to want to go from feast to famine, so I'm focusing on the vast majority, who'd rather gorge than starve. Don't go hungry for the loving you want?the Banquet of Lust awaits. All you have to do is open all the doors (just one will never do; you're going for overkill here) and wait.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

Although I'm not as steadfast as you unwavering Goat-fishies, I do take my job seriously. I doubt many pragmatic Capricorns look to an astrology column for more than a moment's entertainment, but just in case you're seeking actual guidance, I try to provide that, too. I really do look at what's going on in the stars and try to extract something useful from it that can be distilled into a paragraph. I mention my dedication because this week's research indicates yours is flagging in one department. When it comes to helping people who ask for it, you've fallen short of your utmost. Share my vow and all will be well: I'll do my best for you.