WEDNESDAY 5/21 WEDNESDAY 5/21 Cabaret Stan ...
Cabaret
Stan Freberg performs his enduring, satirically entertaining music w/guest Hunter Freberg; Feinstein's at the Regency, 540 Park Ave. (61st St), 212-339-4095; 8:30, $60 & $30 min. [repeats Thurs. at 8:30, Fri. & Sat. at 8:30 & 11].
The Lounge-O-Leers Ricky Ritzel & Aaron Morishita update the lounge act w/classics like "Stairway to Heaven" & cheesy renditions of Eminem hits; Hannah's Lava Lounge, 923 8th Ave. (betw. 54th & 55th Sts.), 212-974-9087; 5, free [repeats Thurs.].
Low Burlesque, Gin & Jazz Slip back a few decades at speakeasy-styled space w/classic cocktails & ambience; this week catch LA's Kitty Diggins & Swis X dancing, music by DJ Muor Wislewod & Ethan Lipton & performances by Russello; Low, 81 Washington St. (betw. Front & York Sts.), DUMBO, 718-222-1569; 8, free.
Norman's Big Night Out Norman Gosney ups the ante for fabulous w/song, dance, comedy & vaudeville; Show, 135 W. 41st St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 212-278-0988; 10:30, $25.
Open Stage Jamie Stellini hosts night where anyone can overtake mics, amps, etc. to brandish poetry, comedy & music?it ain't called "open" for nothin'; Infra-Red Lounge, 210 Rivington St. (betw. Pitt & Ridge Sts.), 212-254-5043; 8, free.
"Theatre Songs" Karen Akers sings classics by Sondheim, Marvin & Hamlisch, plus songs from her Tony-nominated Nine performance; Algonquin Hotel, the Oak Room, 59 W. 44th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-840-6800 ext.159; 9, $50 & $20-$50 min. [repeats Thurs. & Tues. at 9, Fri. & Sat. at 9 & 11:30].
Comedy
"The Best of the Comics Roundtable" Weekly sketch/stand-up show feat. Paul Wagner, Becky Veduccio & Al Del Bene showing off their skills; Danny's Skylight Room, 346 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-265-8133; 9:15, $12, $6 st./military.
"Comedy Today, Comedy Tonite" Tommy Koenig hosts stand-up performance by up-and-coming comedians, followed by roundtable about the modern world of comedy?plus catering by Ben's Kosher Deli (RSVP 917-207-5718); American Federation of Musicians, Local 802, 322 W. 48th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-245-4802; 6:30, $15.
Debasement 2.0 Comics & their sock puppets spread the gospel of funny; tonight's show incl. Leanna Conley, Sharif, Tonya Nash & Jeff Gurian; Coz, 511 E. 6th St. (betw. Aves. A & B), 212-995-8889; 8:30, "donation" & 1 drink min.
Eight Is Never Enough! Part of the Times Square Comedy Jam, this show feat. good ol' sketch comedy & improv?plus plenty of satire & impersonations; the Shea Theatre, 303 W. 42nd (8th Ave.), 800-630-7144; 9, $20 incl. unlimited drinks & food.
Funny Girls Jewish comediennes par excellence Judy Gold, Jennifer Kirson & Karen Bergreen perform & discuss their experiences of being NY female Jews; Eldridge Street Project, 12 Eldridge St. (betw. Canal & Division Sts.), 212-219-0888; 6, $6, $4 st./s.c.
"Magic" Sarah Silverman's one-woman show drew crowds last summer at the Culture Project, and now she's developing her own series for HBO, but the girl's still generous enough to offend; Zipper Theater, 336 W. 37th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-239-6200; 8, $25-$40 [repeats Thurs. at 8, Fri. & Sat. at 7:30 & 9:30].
Paul Mercurio Aussie dancer, actor & comic graces Caroline's stage tonight; Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 9:30, $17 & 2 drink min.
"The Mr. Meaney Show" Consummate comic Kevin Meaney comes to Caroline's for one-night stand; Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 7:30, $18 & 2 drink min.
Texas Toast Troupe "dedicated to theater w/no redeeming social value" performs black comedy following Southern family going through endless trials & tribulations that will make you feel better about your life; the Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-206-1515; 8, $15.
Dance
Dance Brazil Jelon Vieira showcases fusion of dance & Capoeira in "Missao" (program also incl. "Carnival," a traditional Afro-Brazilian stick dance); Joyce Theater, 175 8th Ave. (19th St.), 212-242-0800; 8, $40 [repeats Thurs.-Sat. at 8, Sun. at 7:30].
Jenifer Muller/The Works Dancers propel on trampolines in "Bounce," defying physical "dynamics of movement" (show also incl. salute to composer Richard Rogers in "Moon"); New Victory Theater, 209 W. 42nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; 7:30, $20-$45.
New York City Ballet pres. "Symphonic Dances," "Morphoses" & "Symphony In Three Movements"; NY State Theater, 20 Lincoln Center, B'way (64th St.), 212-870-5570; 8, $30-$78.
THURSDAY 5/22
Cabaret
Crystal Anniversary Concert NY Festival of Song celebrate 15 years w/festival highlights & new performances by artists incl. Michael Barrett, Steven Blier, Jennifer Aylmer, William Bolcom, Amy Burton & Joan Morris; Sylvia & Danny Kaye Playhouse at Hunter College, 695 Park Ave. (68th St.), 212-772-4448; 8.
"Fisherman's Famous San Francisco Burlesque" feat. live music & performances by weekly headliners Harvest Moon & Julie Atlas Muz, backed by the Xylophonic Orchestra; the Marquee, 356 Bowery (betw. Great Jones & E. 4th Sts.), 212-475-7621; 10 & 11:30, $5.
Fuenteovejuna Lope de Vega's classic about murder in a 15th-century Spanish village is condensed & updated into invigorating cabaret w/hiphop, puppetry, tap & improv; Duplex, 61 Christopher St. (7th Ave.), 212-255-5438; 11, $5 & 2 drink min.
Magical Madness Cadabra, Cardone & Gorlick perform weird rituals & the "warlock test," plus tricks such as voice-throwing & mind-reading; Tagine Dining Gallery, 537 9th Ave. (40th St.), 212-564-7292; 8, $10.
Comedy
"Birth of an ASIAN" For National Asian American Awareness Month, get a different perspective than the one public service channels offer w/this "edgy representation of the nuyorasian experience," conceived by Kate Rigg & Leah Ryan, feat. performers incl. Lyris Hung & Seoul Sonyk; La MaMa E.T.C., 74A E. 4th St. (betw. Bowery & 2nd Ave.), 212-475-7710; 10, $15 [repeats Fri. & Sat. at 10, Sun. at 5:30, Tues. at 8].
The Happy Hour Pete Dominick hosts comics incl. Bernie Pauley, Leighann Lord, Maysoon Zayid & Rod Reyes; Downstairs at Porters, 216 7th Ave. (betw. 22nd & 23rd Sts.), 212-242-2422; 8:30, $7 & 1 item min.
"Hottest Women in Comedy" To entice the Navy men for Fleet Week, "pretty & pretty funny" comics incl. Laurie Kilmartin, Lynne Koplitz, Alex House, Sue Costello & Carrie Karavas; Sam's Restaurant & Cabaret, 263 W. 45th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves), 212-719-5416; 8:30, $10-$12 & $10 min. [repeats Fri. & Sat.].
"Me, Myself & Others: Just Play Along & No One Gets Hurt" Carol Brooks performs "nearly one-woman comedy" in which she & lucky members of the audience play hilarious, bizarre characters incl. a Jewish country western singer, Asian dominatrix & supermodel hostess; HA! Comedy Club, 369 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th), 212-977-3884; res. 212-591-0556; 8, $10 & 2 drink min.
Playmobiles Above Kleptomania creator Erik Marcisak pres. Spanish improv group; Show World, 671 8th Ave. (betw. 42nd & 43rd Sts.), 917-214-8252; 8, $10, $8 st./s.c.
"The Thursday Report" Comedy group's witty improv takes on enormous task of getting you to laugh about current events, media coverage & this crazy world in general; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 7:30, $5.50.
Unitard: Showdown Mike Albo, Nora Burns & David Ilku provide "wartime mix of satirical standards & fiercely fresh fodder" that make you laugh at silly current events & forget about the scarier ones; the Marquee, 356 Bowery (betw. Great Jones & E. 4th Sts.), 212-475-7621; 8, $15.
Dance
Atrévete Flamenco Dance Theater "Flamenco meets stomp" in "Steel," a footwork battle set on looming steel platforms (other works incl. "Cafe Canntante," "Generations" & "The Letters of Abelard and Heloise"); Theater of the Riverside Church, 490 Riverside Dr. (Claremont Ave.), 212-870-6700; 8, $20 [repeats Fri., Sat. at 8, Sun. at 2].
"The Main Event" AT&T dance series feat. John Jasperse Co. exploring "extremes within the independent spectrums of proximity" in "Just Two Dancers"; Bessie Schönberg Theater, 219 W. 19th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-924-0077; 7, $32 [Fri.-Sun. at 7, through 6/8].
Sannza Nemo Collective pres. Guido Tuverii's dance theater work, "1945: Sa Coia (A Sardinian Tale)," true story based on young bride-to-be who is raped by a fascist; Joyce Soho, 155 Mercer St. (betw. Houston & Prince Sts.), 212-334-7479; 8, $20 [repeats Fri.-Sun.].
FRIDAY 5/23
Cabaret
Circus Amok Tour Launch Jonathan Berger hosts performance extravaganza w/circus' stars as they prepare for summer series; Superfine Gallery Restaurant, 126 Front St. (Pearl St.), Bklyn, 718-243-9005; 8, $15.
The Lady LoveLace Underground Cabaret Antonee, Ekayani, Miss "L" & Madam du Jour entertain w/song & dance wearing upscale lingerie that's guaranteed to stimulate; Bar B, 188 Allen St. (Houston St.), 212-982-5336; 9, free.
Monkey Town Go ape at new open stage improv theater night?there's only 32 spots so call & get your performance on; Monkey Town, 222 Leonard St. (betw. Grand & Powers Sts.), Williamsburg, 718-482-3664; 7:30, 8:50, 10 & 11:10, $4 incl. free drink.
New York Burlesque Festival Murray Hill presides over fabulous array of bawdy, tassel-twirling burlesque entertainers from NYC & elsewhere; the Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts), 212-253-7246; 9, $10.
Vim Variety Show Faith Fearliss hosts the first Vim Variety show to take place away from Surf Reality, which recently had to close; human beatbox Adam Matta, clown Ambrose Martos, musical madman Sxip Shirey & performance artist Shauna Lane are among those showing up to entertain; the St. Marks Theater, 94 St. Marks Pl. (betw. Ave. A & 1st Ave.), 212-696-7949; tkts 212-673-4182; 10:30, $10.
Comedy
"Above Kleptomania Improv & Sketch Comedy Theatre" Erik Marcisak pres. 223 long-form improv artists, in teams w/names like "the Royal We," "the Cowboy & John," "Fade In," and "Your Mom," performing pieces based on audience suggestions; Show World, 671 8th Ave. (betw. 42nd & 43rd Sts.), 917-214-8252; 8 & 10, $10, $8 st./s.c. [repeats Sat.].
Jackie Beat Newly svelte drag comedian gets all up in your face; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-533-7000; 6:30, $15 [repeats Sat. & Sun at 7].
Jim David takes the stage w/Jim Gaffigan, Rich Francese & Andrew Kennedy; Gotham Comedy Club, 34 W. 22nd St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-367-9000; 8:30 & 10:30, $15 & 2 drink min. [repeats Sat. at 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m.].
"Journey of the Infinite Monkeys" Film/TV writers Rob Blatt & Sam Riegel's new sketch inspired by ballad band Journey spans "everything from subversive WWII propaganda to prophylactic spokespeople"?plus SNL writer Scott Wainio's sketch; People's Improv Theater, 154 W. 29th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-563-7488; 10, $8.
Andrew Kennedy w/Lynne Koplitz, Lisa Lampanelli, Sam Greenfield, Gregory Carey & a barrel of laughs; Stand-Up New York, 236 W. 78th St. (B'way), 212-595-0850; 8, 10 & 12:15 a.m., $15 & 2 item min. [repeats Sat.].
The Porno Jim Show Freelance pornographer Jim Graham & burlesque artist Bex offer up "humorous & educational exploration of modern pornography"?w/clips, of course!; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 212-254-5277; 10, $15, $20 couples, 18+ [repeats Sat.].
William Stephenson hosts stand-up feat. JJ Ramirez, Ellen Cleghorn, Buddy Bolton & Vanessa Hollingshead ; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 8:30, 10:30 & 12:30 a.m., $17 & $12 min.
"The Suburbanoids" Bad Astronauts' (Hannah Cabell, Simone Perrin & Greg Pierce) new show about suburban teen protecting his neighborhood from alien invader; the Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-206-1515; 10:30, $10, $7 st./s.c.
Dance
ABT feat. Fredrick Ashton's La Fille mal Gardée; Metropolitan Opera House at Lincoln Center, B'way (65th St.), 212-362-6000; 8, $30-$100 [repeats Sat. at 2 & 8, Mon.-Tues. at 8].
Dance Africa 2003 pres. "Rhythmic Rites and Rituals: Connecting Cultural Borders"?event feat. Munntu Dance Theatre, Resurrection Dance Theatre & the Kulu Mele African Dance Ensemble; BAM Opera House, 30 Lafayette Ave. (Ashland Pl.), 718-636-4100; 7:30, $18-$28 [repeats Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3].
"Haiti: The Rhythms, the Dances, and the Gods" Historic portrayal depicts 200 years of freedom feat. Aykodanns Dance Co. w/Danny Glover as Toussaint Louveture; Carnegie Hall, 157 W. 57th St. (7th Ave.), 212-247-7800; 8, $30-$100.
SATURDAY 5/24
Cabaret
Cary Hoffman performs Sinatra classics w/the Stan Rubin Orchestra...and listen, this guy sounds exactly like Frank; Carnegie Club, 156 West 56th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-957-9676; 8 & 10, $30 & 2 drink min.
New York Burlesque Festival Murray Hill presides over fabulous array of more than 40 burlesque entertainers from NYC & elsewhere; Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St. (betw. B'way & Church St.), 212-219-3006; 9, $15-$20.
The Sexy Man Show Male revue produced by women for women, feat. drag host, comedy & plenty of hunky dancers ; Discotheque, 17 W. 19th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-352-9999, info 212-807-6795; 7:30, $25-$30.
$10 Cover, 2 Ballad Maximum Jennifer Winegardner starts her show...without a show; however, after an hour of cabaret performance standards, she has vindicated herself in this solo debut, also playing at Rose's Turn (55 Grove St.) on Wed. at 7 & Thurs. at 9; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 6:30, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Mon. at 7].
Va Va Voom Room Miss Astrid hosts night of burlesque, va va vaudeville, strippers, magicians & clowns; Fez/Time Cafe, 380 Lafayette St. (Great Jones St.), 212-330-9349; 10:30, $15 & 2 drink min.
"The Wide, Wide World of Surf Variety" Surf Reality might be closed, but the show must go on: tonight Faceboy hosts the talents of Mike Amato, Faith Fearliss, Hank Flynn, Andy Horowitz & Neal Medlyn; the St. Marks Theater, 94 St. Marks Pl. (betw. Ave. A & 1st Ave.), 212-696-7949; tkts 212-673-4182; 10:30, $10.
Comedy
The Brooklyn Brew-Ha-Ha Ritch Duncan hosts comics incl. Roger Hailes, Amy Crossfield, Larry Getlen, Joe DeVito & Rusty Ward; East End Ensemble, 273 Smith St. (betw. Sackett & Degraw Sts.), 718-624-8878; 9, $5 & 2 drink min.
Gay & Lesbian Comedy Fest Michael Conley hosts stand-up & impersonations from queer performers incl. Seth Rudetsky, Kristine Zbornik, Jeni Aron & Shecky Beagleman; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 11, $10 & 2 drink min.
Guile Stephanie Mnookin & Eliot Laurence "explore the differences betw. what we are & how we would like to be perceived" as they reveal secrets about themselves; Maverick Theater, 307 W. 26th St. (8th Ave.), 212-239-6200, tkts 212-366-9176; 7:30, $7.
Indian Comedy Fest Everyone knows Jews & gays are funny, but the subcontinent has somethin' ta prove; Sudha, Daniel Nainan, Anu Kalra & Saad Sarwana perform, hosted by Rahul Siddharth; Don't Tell Mama, 343 W. 46th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-757-0788; 8:30, $10 & 2 drink min.
Kerry McNally hosts stand-up feat. Laurie Kilmartin, Brad Trackman, Todd Lynn, Ellen Cleghorn, Joe Vega & Tony Rock ; Comic Strip Live, 1568 2nd Ave. (betw. 81st & 82nd Sts.), 212-861-9386; 6, 8, 10:15 & 12:30 a.m., $17 & $12 min.
Neutrino Video Projects + Mother: The Soundtrack Guerilla filmmakers Neutrino takes audience suggestion & creates real-time movie w/celeb guests; Mother uses audience music (bring CDs & iPods!) to inspire improv scenes; Maverick Theater, 307 W. 26th St. (8th Ave.), 212-239-6200; 10:30, $7.
"The 9 O'Clock 10:17 Comedy Night" Bricken Sparacino (it's his birthday!) & Michael Birch host stand-up from Vincent Durham, Ken Perlstein & Jane Campbell, plus various comedy from Adam Wade & the 10:17 troupe (music by Singer & Saw); Gershwin Hotel, 7 E. 27th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 212-545-8000; 9, $5.
Off the Top of Our Heads "Whose Line Is It Anyway"-style show involves audience in good old-fashioned improv games; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 7, $7.
Survivor: Vietnam! Amnesia Wars' show takes the reality craze to sick limits, asking what happens when six contestants greedily go into real-life war zone w/hopes of earning $1 million; People's Improv Theater, 154 W. 29th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-563-7488; 12 a.m., $5.
Dance
Coppélia New York City Ballet feat. their full-length version of 19th-century comedic dance; NY State Theater, 20 Lincoln Center, B'way (64th St.), 212-870-5570; 2, $30-$78 [repeats Sun. at 3, Tues. at 7:30].
SUNDAY 5/25
Cabaret
New York Burlesque Festival Brunch at Marion's closes out the weekend of tassel-twirling fun MCd by Murray Hill & feat. 40+ performers from across the country; res. req., call or email marionsnyc@aol.com; the Marquee, 356 Bowery (betw. Great Jones & E. 4th Sts.), 212-475-7621; 1, $17.95.
"Talkschau" Nina Hagen hosts live talk show w/music by Fisherman's Xylophonic Orchestra, plus performances from Penny Arcade & comic Pam Ann & interview w/John Cameron Mitchell (creator/star of Hedwig & the Angry Inch); Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778; 9:30, $25.
Comedy
Ensemble Shows Four ensembles in two hour-long pieces where "players discover something funny through crazy characters, unusual situations or audience inspiration"; Gotham City Improv, 158 W. 23rd St., 2nd fl. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-367-8222; 7:30, $5.
Free-Associated Press The world is sad & scary in times of war, but Freestyle Repertory Theatre's new production will make it all better w/long-form improv sketches based on audience suggestions & newspaper headlines; Trilogy Theater, 341 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), tkts. 212-206-1515; 7, $12.
Dance
Tap Extravaganza 2003 Celebrate National Tap Dance Day w/dynamic variety of performers incl. Dr. Jimmy Slyde, Mable Lee & Rhythm Iss; FIT's Haft Auditorium, 227 W. 27th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves.), 212-252-2927; 7, $30-$60.
MONDAY 5/26
Cabaret
LaChanze Broadway/off-Broadway actress' solo concert aims to dazzle & seduce; Joe's Pub, 425 Lafayette St. (betw. E. 4th St. & Astor Pl.), 212-539-8778; 7 & 9:30, $20-$25.
Monday Evening Burlesque Weekly production of "classic burlesque tassel-twirling fun"; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), 718-782-5188; 9:30, free.
Comedy
"Blue Mondays" Tony Woods hosts comedy from the best incl. Todd Lynn, Dean Edwards, Steve Byrne, Kyle Grooms, Dawnel Rawlings & Rondel Hartley; Boston Comedy Club, 82 W. 3rd St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-477-1000; 9:45, $5 & 1 drink min.
Comic Rhythm Jeff Kreisler's comedy/variety showcase feat. stand-up, music & "alternative" acts; Three of Cups, 83 1st Ave. (5th St.), 212-388-0059; 8, $3.
"The Morning Show with Bradford Scobie & Laura Sweeney" Chipper, morning-talk-show-host knock-offs bombard the late-night crowd w/parody, satire & guests; the Marquee, 356 Bowery (betw. Great Jones & E. 4th Sts.), 212-475-7621; 10, $5.
New Talent Caroline's is famed for bringing up-and-coming comics to light; tonight is devoted to getting more on their way; Caroline's Comedy Club, 1626 B'way (49th St.), 212-757-4100; 7, $15 & 2 drink min.
Colin Quinn draws crowds w/Nick DiPaolo, Godfrey, Greg Giraldo & Robert Kelly; Comedy Cellar, 117 MacDougal St. (betw. Bleecker & W. 3rd Sts), 212-254-3480; 9 & 11, $10 & 2 drink min. [repeats Tues.].
"6:30 Mondays" Greg Contreras hosts stand-up open mic feat. comedians working out kinks in their routines (one drink gets you five glorious minutes on stage); Village Lantern, 167 Bleecker St. (betw. Thompson & Sullivan Sts.), 212-260-7993; 6:30, 1 drink min.
TUESDAY 5/27
Cabaret
Automatic Vaudeville Weekly series hosted by Hilly & Gavin Souchet attracts comedy, music & performance artists whose acts cover everything imaginable; Ars Nova, 511 W. 54th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-206-1515; 8, $5.
Comedy
A.V. Club Tuppy the Band hosts multimedia comedy feat. Tom Shillue, Regina Spektor, Eugene Mirman, Chris & Justin's Medicine Show & film challenge?filmchallenge@nationalpleasure.com to participate; Galapagos, 70 N. 6th St. (betw. Wythe & Kent Aves.), 718-782-5188; 8, $5.
"Big Daddy's Addy's Variety Review" Eddie Brill hosts musical comedy show w/guest comics?plus Adam Roth & the Jaded Six; Arlene Grocery, 95 Stanton St. (betw. Ludlow & Orchard Sts.), 212-358-1633; 10, $6.
"Laughing Sing Happy Hour" Comedians & musicians perform for two hours: can you take it?; Sam's Restaurant & Cabaret, 263 W. 45th St. (betw. 7th & 8th Aves), 212-719-5416; 7, $1 & 1 drink min.
Dance
Bernard Marie Koltes feat. "In the Solitude of Cotton Fields," a martial arts inspired piece set to music by Satoshi Takeishi; Ohio Theater, 66 Wooster St. (betw. Spring & Broome Sts), 212-966-4844 or 212-358-3657; 8, $15-$50.
THEATER
I Am My Own Wife "Real-life German transvestite manages to survive both the Nazi onslaught and the following, repressive communist regime" in play by Doug Wright (Quills) & Moises Kaufman (The Laramie Project, Gross Indecency); Playwrights Horizons, 416 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7:30, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $15-$50 [opens 5/27, through 6/8].
RECENTLY OPENED
All's Well That Ends Well Blessed Unrest modernization; Chashama, 125 W. 42nd St. (betw. 6th Ave. & B'way), 212-868-4444; Thurs.-Sat. at 7:30, mat. Sun. at 3, $15 [through 6/15].
Almost Blue Flophouse on edge of town keeps ex-con from his biggest fear?freedom...or does it!?; The Flatiron Playhouse, 119 W. 23rd St. (6th Ave.), 212-868-4444; call for times, $15 [through 5/25].
American Menu "Civil rights issues in the 60s from the perspective of five African American women"; Abron Arts Center, 466 Grand St. (betw. Willett & Pitt Sts.), 212-598-0400; Weds.-Fri. at 7:30, Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $30 [through 5/25].
Barbra's Wedding Actor Daniel Stern (Breaking Away, Diner, Home Alone, City Slickers) makes his playwriting debut; Westside Theater, 407 W. 43rd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8., mats. Sat. at 2:30, Sun. at 3, $60.
Boobs! The Musical "The world according to Ruth Wallis"; Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-352-3101; Weds.-Fri. & Mon. at 8, Sat. at 7 & 10, Sun. at 7, mat. Sun. at 3, $50-$55.
Cafe Society "A dark comedy about the bottomless cup of coffee, co-dependence, outrageous customer service, and a teenaged girl who wants more, much more?can anyone say 'no?'"; 13th Street Repertory, 50 W. 13th St. (betw. 5th & 6th Aves.), 212-675-6677; Thurs.-Sat. at 7, $15, $10 st./s.c. [through 6/14].
Count No Man Happy: Stories About Suffering "Why do the innocent suffer while the guilty thrive?"; the Marquee, 356 Bowery (betw. Great Jones & E. 4th Sts.), 212-475-7621; Sun. at 8, $12, $10 st./s.c. [through 5/25].
Door Wide Open New play by Joyce Johnson, based on love letters betw. Johnson & Jack Kerouac; Bowery Poetry Club, 308 Bowery (betw. 1st Ave. & Bleecker St.), 212-614-0505; Sat. & Sun. at 7:30, $15 [through 6/8].
Down a Long Road Lubbock, Texas native who wrote I Am a Teacher in one-man show; Lamb's Theater, 130 W. 44th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 2, $35.
Dream a Little Dream Denny Doherty stars in musical about former bandmates John & Michelle Phillips & Cass Elliott; Village Theatre, 158 Bleecker St. (betw. Sullivan & Thompson Sts.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Mon. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2:30 & Sun. at 3, $65-$100.
Enchanted April E.M. Forster-esque tale of British on holiday in Italy; Belasco Theatre, 111 W. 44tth St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. at 8, Tues. at 7, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $45-$80.
The Exonerated Bob Balaban directs Jessica Blank & Erik Jensen's controversial drama based on interviews w/falsely imprisoned death row inmates found innocent & freed; 45 Bleecker St., 45 Bleecker St. (Lafayette St.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Fri. & Tues. at 8, Sat. at 5 & 9, Sun. at 3 & 7, $55 [through 8/31].
Frederick Douglass Man of letters/former slave's story on stage at church where he worshipped, married & spoke; Mother AME Zion, 140-146 W. 137th St. (Lenox Ave.), 212-307-7171; Weds., Fri. & Sat. 8, mats. Weds., Fri. & Sat. at 3, $35.
Hairspray Musical based on John Waters' film about plump girl's attempts to racially integrate teen dance show; Neil Simon Theater, 250 W. 52nd St. (betw. B'way & 8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $60-$100.
Hank Williams: Lost Highway But what about Bocephus? Guess Broadway ain't ready for "O.D.'d in Denver"...; Little Shubert Theater, 422 W. 42nd St. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 212-239-6200; call for times & prices.
Kicking and Screaming Jennifer Jiles, former Rockette, takes you behind the kick line...and the view ain't so pretty; Ars Nova, 511 W. 54th St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-981-9722; Weds. at 4, free.
Koltes New translations of Battle of Black and Dogs, West Pier, Roberto Zucco & In the Solitude of the Cotton Fields; Ohio Theater, 66 Wooster St. (betw. Spring & Broome Sts), 212-966-4844 or 212-358-3657; call for times, $15 [through 5/31].
La Boheme Baz Luhrmann (Moulin Rouge, Strictly Ballroom) "re-imagines" Puccini's opera (w/English supertitles); Broadway Theatre, 1681 B'way (betw. 52nd & 53rd Sts.), 212-239-6200; call for times, $20-$95.
The Ladies of the Corridor Dorothy Parker & Arnaud d'Usseau's "sharply funny and wryly sympathetic look behind the closed doors of New York City's Hotel Marlow"; Bank Street Theatre, 155 Bank St. (betw. Washington & West Sts.), 212-561-9635; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $15 [through 5/25].
Life X 3 Helen Hunt, John Tuturro & the phenomenal Brent Spiner (Lt. Cmdr. Data, Lore, Mark Twain, etc.) star in dinner party that serves "cruel observations and high comedy resulting in a hilarious and poignant examination of our most personal intimacies and private longings"; Circle in the Square Theater, 1633 B'way (50th St.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $80 [through 6/29].
The Look of Love: the Songs of Burt Bacharach and Hal David "He's not just my composer?he's everyone's composer!"; Brooks Atkinson Theater, 256 W. 47th St. (8th Ave.), 212-307-4100; call for times, $25-$75 [through 6/29].
Marathon 2003 26th-annual festival of new one acts; Ensemble Studio Theater, 549 W. 52nd St. (betw. 10th & 11th Aves.), 212-206-1515; Mon. & Tues. at 8, $35 [through 5/29].
Me and My Fanny "A celebration of Fanny Brice featuring Obie- and Emmy- Award-winning actress Marilyn Sokol"; South Street Seaport, Melville Gallery, 213 Water St. (betw. Fulton & Beekman Sts.), 212-748-8649; Thurs. at 7, $10.
Molly's Dream 60s play about saloon waitress' "fantastic dream"; Soho Rep, 46 Walker St. (Church St.), 212-868-4444; call for times, $15 [through 6/7].
The Most Famous Man in America One-man show about John Wilkes Booth; Jim Bonney Theatre, 134 W. 26th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-875-7199; Sun. at 7, $15 [through 6/1].
Nharcolepsy "Two would-be cabaret entertainers freezing to death at the North Pole?Gustave Flaubert, an accordion-playing Belgian who is no relation to the author of Madame Bovary, and mostly-mute sidekick Nhar?have failed in their quest for the Yeti..."; Gene Frankel Theatre, 24 Bond St. (Lafayette St.), 212-777-1767; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, $15, $10 st.
Nobody Knows I'm a Dog The anonymity of the internet allows six characters to lose themselves in wishful personas & fictional lives, until reality returns w/a vengeance; the Red Room, 85 E. 4th St., 3rd fl. (betw. 2nd & 3rd Aves.), 212-206-1515; call for times, $15 [through 5/25].
Notes From Underground Eric Bogosian's new stage production, based on Dostoevsky's novella of same name; P.S. 122, 150 1st Ave. (9th St.), 212-477-5288; call for times, $15 [through 5/25].
The Novelist James Bosley's play about professor who confuses self w/his main character; Mint Space, 311 W. 43rd St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-279-4200; Thurs., Sat. & Tues. at 8, mat. Sun. at 3, $15 [through 6/1].
Our Lady of 121st Street New play by Stephen Adly Guirgis (directed by heart throb Philip Seymour Hoffman) decamps for off-Broadway; Union Sq. Theater, 100 E. 17th St. (Park Ave. S.), 212-505-0700; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, Sun. at 7, mats. Sat. & Sun. at 3, $30-$65.
The Persians Ellen McLaughlin's "new version" of oldest surviving play in Western literature; Pace Downtown Theater, 3 Spruce St. (betw. Park Row & Gold St.), 212-346-1715; call for times, $12-$45 [through 6/22].
The Play What I Wrote Directed by Kenneth Branagh & starring surprise celebrity guests; Lyceum Theatre, 149 W. 45th St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 212-239-6200; Weds.-Sat. & Tues. at 8, mats. Weds. & Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, call for prices.
Portrait (With Horse and Others) "An Orwellian fairytale set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland"; HERE, 145 6th Ave. (betw. Spring & Dominick Sts.), 212-647-0202; Weds.- Sat. & Mon. at 8:30, mat. Sun. at 4 [through 6/7].
Romola and Nijinksy Covers dancer's courtship & marriage, "a relationship that would span 30 years and withstand his frequent bouts of madness and periods of exile"; Primary Stages, 354 W. 45th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 212-333-4052; Weds.-Sat. at 8, mats. Sat. at 2, Sun. at 3, $48 [through 6/1].
Tea at Five Kate M