WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 20 MARK OF THE DEVIL Udo Kier is Count Christian, ...

b>OCTOBER 20

MARK OF THE DEVIL

Udo Kier is Count Christian, a 17th-century aspiring witch-hunter who finds out the hard way that witch-hunting isn't all fun and games. Dubbed the most horrifying film of all time, this 1970 German shock-fest might have lost some edge over the last 34 years, but the true spookiness comes from the historical realism. The grizzly depictions are taken directly from 17th-century witch-trial transcripts, and the torture devices are equally authentic-so authentic that Pioneer Theater promises a free barf bag for every viewer. Because even the most devoted Udo Kier fans may not be ready for a wagonful of nuns getting raped during the opening credits. 155 E. 3rd St. (Ave. A), 212-254-3300; 7, $9.

DAVID SCHICKLER

Last year's New Yorker Festival party, held at Bill Buford's swanky Gramercy Park digs, was full of well-revered celebs: Steve Martin, Sam Shepard and Jessica Lange, Chrissie Hynde. But newly published David Schickler was the only guest classy and down-to-earth enough to bring his host a bottle of wine. Never mind that the plot of his new novel, Sweet and Vicious, sounds more than a little contrived. And never mind that it can't possibly be as intoxicating as the Nolita bar of the same name. Any writer who once moonlighted at Chili's and as a public school teacher deserves serious props. Rocky Sullivan's, 129 Lexington Ave. (29th St.), 212-725-3871; 8, free.

THURSDAY OCTOBER 21

EAST VILLAGE BLOWOUT BOOK BASH

This is our kind of literary jam. A drug-book party (meaning, a party celebrating a book about drugs) with go-go dancers instead of books. Oh, we're sure there will be some books lying around, but that's not what tonight is about. Boasting no stuffy readings, the Book Bash urges you to go buy the book and read it on your own damn time. Meanwhile, enjoy DJs, dancers, groovers, shakers and touchdown-makers, all in celebration of Disinformation's "latest well-schooled rant," The Disinformation Guide to Drugs. Uncle Ming's, 225 Ave. B (betw. 13th & 14th Sts.), 212-979-8506; 9, free.

FRED HERSCH DUOS

The exquisite and swinging Fred Hersch takes the bench for a week at the Jazz Standard, reprising his duos album on Classical Action from a couple of years back, Fred Hersch & Friends (which featured the likes of Diana Krall, Joe Lovano and the much-lamented Tommy Flanagan). Tonight Hersch pairs off with Kenny Barron, who tickled keys with Dizzy Gillespie in the early 60s, with trumpet maven Dave Douglas teaming on Wednesday and vocalist Nancy King on Saturday. 116 E. 27th St. (betw. Lexington & Park Aves.), 212-576-2232; 7:30 & 9:30, $20-$25.

FRIDAY OCTOBER 22

SEWING CLUB

High time we made a stand and shook up the views of the common man; and the love-train rides from coast to coast-DJ's the man we love the most! Tears for Fears once taught us that anything is possible when you're sowing the seeds of love, and today the Parks Dept. teaches a new generation that the same is true of plain old regular sewing. Learn basic sewing techniques or just bring along your own personal projects and show off at the Lefferts Historic House. Finally, a weekly crafts group that isn't just for politician grannies with their high ideals. Have you no idea how the majority feels? So without love and a promise land, we're fools to the rules of a goverment plan. Kick out the style! Bring back the jam! Prospect Park, Flatbush Ave. (Ocean Ave.), Brooklyn, 718-789-2822; 1:30-3:30, free.

THE CRANES ARE FLYING

The 1958 Palm d'Or winner, The Cranes Are Flying, tells of a young couple suddenly separated at the onset of WWII. Part of the Museum of the Moving Image's Russian Nights Festival, Mikheil Kalatozishvili's masterpiece is shot with exceptional beauty, and dramatically proves how Cold War-era Soviets desperately longed for peace-thus answering Sting's prayers, as he once whimsically hoped, "the Russians love their children too." You know what we're talking about. 35 Ave. (36 St.) Astoria, 718-784-0077; 7:30, $10.

GAIL THACKER POLAROIDS

Gail Thacker has been taking Polaroids for 30 years. During that time, the nature of her work has shifted between portraiture, self-portraiture (á la Lucas Samaras) and cityscapes. Yet, in all her work, she has always been concerned with time and the process of aging, whether it be in her subjects or in the fragile essence of the Polaroid media itself. This show presents photographs spanning Thacker's entire career, including early work with Boston performance artists and a series of portraits of women. Safe-T-Gallery, 134 Bayard St. (betw. Manhattan & Graham Aves.), Williamsburg, 718-782-5920; call for times, free.

SATURDAY OCTOBER 23

RARE BLACK VIDEO & DVD FAIR

And you thought you'd never be able to track down those hard-to-find early Malcolm X speeches. Today at the New York State Black Films & Video Archives, peruse thousands of new videos and DVDs from the 20s on. Classics with Josephine Baker and Paul Robeson films, 70s flicks, docs and independent releases-it'll all be there. Proceeds benefit the National Museum of African American Cinema. Adam Clayton Powell Jr. State Office Building, 163 W. 125th St., 2nd fl. (7th Ave.), 212-749-5298; 10-7, free.

TOMMY

You thought you had such a supple wrist? No, you got nothing. Roger Daltrey, on the other hand, he's got Ann-Margret, Elton John, Eric Clapton, Tina Turner and mental-health specialist Jack Nicholson. It's a fucking who's who, without which we would live in a world completely devoid of yellow and black Tommy t-shirts. Imagine that. Museum of the Moving Image, 35 Ave. (36 St.), Astoria, 718-784-0077; 6:30, $10.

YOSHIDA BROTHERS

Are they actually brothers? We have no idea. Are they actually Japanese banjo-playing rock sensations? Bet your ass they are. Stars in their native land, the boys play what is sometimes referred to as Japanese bluegrass on the shamisen-a banjo-like instrument from the Tsugaru region of northern Japan. Performing with "the fervor of Jimi Hendrix," the brothers Yoshida combine jazz-like improvisations with pop-rock sensibilities to form an innovative mutation of this ancient music. Akira Sakate opens the show with a performance of Appalachian banjo stylings. Symphony Space, 2537 B'way (95th St.), 212-864-1414; 3 & 8, $30.

SUNDAY OCTOBER 24

CREEPSHOW AT THE FREAK SHOW

Every year, Sideshows by the Seashore puts on not only the best and wildest haunted house in town, but the smartest as well. The ghosts and killers and monsters who lurk in the shadows of that creaky old building are, more often than not, frightening characters from Coney's shady and dangerous past. And this being an election year, what could be more terrifying than?politicians? This year's tour guide is none other than the notorious John Y. McKane, the corrupt Tammany Hall-era political boss from Coney who used well-armed thugs and kickbacks to make sure things ran his way. So beware! They'll not only spook the pants off you-you might actually learn a little something in the process too, and what's scarier than that? Every Friday, Saturday and Sunday through Halloween. 1208 Surf Ave. (W. 12th St.), 718-372-5159; 7-12, $7.50.

MONDAY OCTOBER 25

TOMMY LEE BOOK SIGNING

Almost as good as seeing Motley Crue live, watch as the legendary sticks man brings the Midtown Barnes & Noble crowd to its feet, with nothing more than a fountain pen. Expect a tell-all of the highest order, as Tommy recalls sensational tales of his tumultuous past, like in that episode of Punk'd where he thought he was just going cruising with his main man, former Backstreet Boy Nick Carter. Turned out it was all a set up to trick Tommy into hitting a man with his car, who then pretended to be unconscious! Man, when Ashton came out of nowhere and told Tommy he'd been punk'd, it was like Nikki Sixx had returned from the dead all over again. 600 5th Ave. (48th St.), 212-957-2890; 1, free.

TUESDAY OCTOBER 26

BIG BUSINESS

With music that's more appropriate for Pavement fans with A.D.D. than Franz Ferdinand fans in cardigan sweaters, Big Business is hummable-not danceable. Songs come addled with starts and stops, groovy bridges, quirky lyrics and clever chops. Over the summer they packed the Knitting Factory and rocked a long list of short numbers à la Guided By Voices. Lead singer Billy Lopez, brother of Robert Lopez of Avenue Q fame, is a gifted songwriter, a slacker-rocker with an actual work ethic. Lit, 93 2nd Ave. (betw. 5th & 6th Sts.), 212-777-7987; 9, $5.