When Animals Vote; NYP's Ackerman Wins Journalism Award; Caldwell the Propagandist; The Dear, Dead Thunderbolt

Spencer Ackerman ("New York City," 12/6): As the chief representative of the Columbia University Philolexian Society's Ad Hoc Committee on Lurid Tabloid Reportage, I am pleased to extend to you the honor of being named the recipient of the Society's first Richard F. Outcault Award for Excellence in Yellow Journalism Above and Beyond the Limits of Propriety.

Ostensibly dispatched to report on the Alfred Joyce Kilmer Memorial Bad Poetry contest, you managed instead to convert this apparently innocuous subject into a forum for the expression of your own thwarted sexual fantasies.

Although you did not stoop to ascertain the correct spellings of the names of those innocents whom you so liberally libeled, it appears that you did manage to register the precise nature of the undergarments of most of the women present. The Philolexian Society applauds the ascendancy of pygography over orthography displayed in your article. No doubt the purple prose that pours unchecked from your sweaty little pen is merely a pale reflection of the variety and depth of your own sexual experience.

We of the Philolexian Society feel that your liberal references to "overripe bounty," "alluring...supple flesh" and, most notably, "ass," bode for you a successful and lucrative career with Harlequin Enterprises or another similarly estimable publishing company. We hope that, when your well-deserved triumph arrives, you will reserve a small corner of your heart for those of us who recognized your nascent talent in its earliest stages, well-disguised though it may have been.

Thalia Robakis, Manhattan

U.S. Blues

I had given up reading New York Press a while back, saying no mas after one too many mentions of Peggy Noonan and one too many "MUGGER" vacation diaries. I kind of missed it at times?Andrey Slivka's constantly developing prose was often compelling, and Jonathan Ames was always good for a chuckle.

But I'd pretty much washed my hands of New York Press. Until this week, when I saw Slivka's 12/6 cover story on the Mississippi Baptists ("Southern Cross: Testimony from the Mississippi Baptist Convention") peeking out from the green box. What the hell, I said, I'll see what Slivka's up to these days. And sure enough it was an excellent, if occasionally overdone, piece of writing by someone who understands the ability, and use, of language both to convey and obscure meaning.

And then, while leafing through the rest of the issue, I came across this stunning passage by Taki (I've never really understood exactly who, or what, Taki and his "Top Drawer" are supposed to be, or represent): "Geographically, Gore only carried one-sixth of the country. Five-sixths rejected him and his corrupt party. But because of the population density of urban areas, Gore's numbers improve dramatically. In other words, a few high-density urban areas where new immigrants and racial minorities constitute a high percentage of the population decide which way this country is going."

I really had to reread this several times to believe I had, in fact, read it. Virtually every word in this passage deserves parsing, but I'll stick to the obvious.

1. "Geographically, Gore only carried one-sixth of the country." So, um, you're saying that wheat- and cornfields, deserts, wastelands, rocks, pebbles, alluvial deposits, chaff, mountains and scrub brush have suddenly been given the right to vote and support Bush by a five-sixths margin?

2. "But because of the population density of urban areas, Gore's numbers improve dramatically." But because more actual people voted for him, his numbers improve?

3. Oh wait, I see. Those urban votes are suspect because they represent "new immigrants and racial minorities." In other words, Wake up America! Do you want your future decided by niggers, spics, Jews, chinks and God knows what else?

Maybe Taki doesn't understand that all voters are American citizens. And that more than a few white people apparently voted for Gore. He certainly doesn't seem to understand that he writes for a newspaper that is both published in and read primarily by the denizens of an urban area. But then again, judging from the rather scary letters of praise pouring in from the gut of our country, Taki and MUGGER know just who their audience is.

I'm no fan of Gore or Clinton. But by God, if Taki, MUGGER and their vicious, racist ilk are the constituency of Bush and the Republicans, then I pray Gore uses every last machination he can think of to get into office.

Slivka, you should be ashamed to be associated with these people.

Sam Feldman, Manhattan

Andrey Slivka replies: They have their occasional good points.

 

Plus Bill Monahan

MUGGER: I have only recently come to know your columns. All I want to say is that I like your writing style. You've got at least one fan in the People's Republic of Massachusetts.

John Novack, Peabody, MA

It's All Relative

MUGGER: I was watching this documentary about Hillary Clinton tonight, and it occurred to me: Hillary used to be hot.

I mean, not hot in a standard sense, but hot for Hillary. They showed her yearbook pictures, and she didn't look bad at all. She looked way better back then than in some of the footage they showed from Clinton's campaign in '92, where she was wearing a pink suit with a pink headband, looking like some of the women I sold vacuum cleaners to during my brief employment as a Kirby vacuum-cleaner salesman in rural upstate New York between my freshman and sophomore years of college.

Anyway, I just want to say that New York Press rocks, even though I may sometimes disagree with your opinions. I mean, c'mon, George W.'s victory as a morally uplifting event? I'm not sure what your opinion on capital punishment is, but I heard that 40 people were executed in Bush's Texas this year?at least five of them during the last week of this postelection bullshit. I think he is the rightful winner, but whatever you think about capital punishment, there's something fucked up about that statistic.

Keep kicking the Village Voice's ass. Last week's "Opinion" piece about Christian rock is something those Voice losers would never touch. When I was reading it I thought it was some sort of joke at first, but then I realized you were just giving space to an opinion few people would publish. I still think Christian rock bites dick, but it was an interesting read.

Chelsea, though, remains a dog.

Keep up the good work, and let's see more Alan Cabal.

Name Withheld, via Internet

Remus Is Our Dealer

I like history, and my favorite period is republican Rome and the early empire. The Roman republic so admired by our Founding Fathers (they called Washington a modern Cincinnatus) began to dissolve when Marius and Sulla, two great men almost equally matched in power, launched a civil war.

Sounds familiar, if you consider that each era develops its own weapons. Then it was broadswords. Today it's the lawsuit, or the media. It ended with a dictatorship. So did the French revolution. Something to think about.

Virge Randall, Manhattan

Belly Up to the Bar

Christopher Caldwell, while generally nutty discussing The Enemy (Hillary is a Bolshevik, etc.), can usually be trusted to cast a cold eye upon the Republican Party.

In his 12/6 "Hill of Beans" column, however, his partisanship has led him to make a statement of almost Russ Smith-like inaccuracy and wishful thinking. I refer to his being "sick" of those presumably liberal commentators who persist in stating that, were their positions reversed, the two parties would be adopting the other's arguments and methods, in toto. It's a confusing argument he makes, but the thrust of his argument is that the Republicans "would not be inclined toward a litigation strategy." This because, as everyone knows, "the vast majority of lawyers are Democrats."

Really, Chris? That sounds kind of like unthinking dogma. Let's have some stats. In any case, if the past eight years are any indication, rest assured, I think the GOP could have taken care of itself, litigation-wise. Why, Richard Mellon Scaife would have funded a dozen lawsuits himself. The GOP Congress would have called for an independent counsel to look into just how white Republicans were turned away at the polls. Wholesale investigations would center on the fact that a state that was called for Bush by every network, including Fox News, mysteriously went the other way after Gore's, let's say, little brother Billy assured him he'd get it back for him. And not least, the secretary of state of the state would have been immediately subpoenaed by that Congress and asked just what her relationship with Billy was.

Please get back to calling W stupid, Chris, ASAP. It's all we have now.

Terry Benoit, Manhattan

Scary Thoughts

My, my, my. Well, it's not hard to find partisan writing these days, of course, but Christopher Caldwell simply takes one's breath away. Regarding possible action by the Florida legislature to elect its own slate of electors, he actually makes the statement that "under the circumstances, it is a purely defensive maneuver, one of the last democratic means Floridians have to keep an increasingly megalomaniacal candidate from stealing an election by legalistic legerdemain."

To call such a maneuver "purely defensive" and, worse yet, "democratic," is such a stretch as to be mind-boggling. Now that kind of thinking really scares me.

Ken Ubsdell, Oakland, CA

Flying Monk

Two things about the Thunderbolt (Jim Knipfel, "New York City," 11/29).

It was one of three wooden rollercoasters at Coney Island that collectively made a powerful spatial image in my mind. They?the Cyclone, the Thunderbolt and the Tornado?were evenly spaced apart and set among the odd urban streets facing the ocean. They made this powerful, monumental gateway, of sorts, to the sea beyond. This arrangement impressed me as a child, and not only made me fascinated with the unique spaces of old New York City, but also probably made me become an architect.

Now it's gone. An old schoolmate of mine, who became a Franciscan monk, rode the Thunderbolt during its last ride back in 1982. The train rose to the top of the first drop, but got stuck. Everyone had to climb out of the train and walk down the steps adjacent to the track. The poor old coaster was shut down for good after that embarrassing moment.

John Graz, Brooklyn

L.A. Weakly

Would somebody mind explaining to me why a screaming, ranting and kindergarten-level namecalling rightist like Russ Smith features the very last genuine pro-Soviet mouthpiece in Western journalism as a regular columnist in his paper? There's nothing like rational and responsible journalism, yes indeed.

Bruce Moomaw, Cameron Park, CA

Russ Smith replies: I assume the correspondent is referring to Alexander Cockburn. On the other hand, perhaps he means Marc Cooper, Andrey Slivka, John Strausbaugh, C.J. Sullivan or Taki, all of whom hold political and social views that vary from my own. I guess that's a bad thing. Americans are so inured to monolithic, cookie-cutter journalism that it's a shock when a weekly newspaper like New York Press actually offers its readers diversity of opinion.

 

Do Not Pass Go

George Szamuely ("Taki's Top Drawer," 12/6): You stole 500-plus library books worth more than $30,000. That's a lot of books that you took away from real scholars. And that's a lot of money, too; more than a lot of people make in a whole year.

But when you got caught you got off easy with a fine and some community service. And now you have the effrontery to complain that you can't find a cushy spot to serve your 200 hours? George! How morally blind are you? Get down and scrub a damn toilet! You're being punished, you idiot.

Oh, and by the way, when are we going to hear your sniveling self-justification? Did you have a misguided philosophical plan to liberate knowledge, or were you just being an asshole?

Either way, I really, sincerely hope you go to jail.

Frank Xi, Queens

Abusing the Bishop

George Szamuely: If you are still having trouble with completing your community service, I would be glad to help you. I am sure we could work out a schedule that accomplishes your 200 hours as quickly as possible and at the same time will be intellectually stimulating for you. If you are interested, please contact me.

Bishop Christodoulos, Cathedral of St. Markella, Queens

Virtual Community

Reading George Szamuely's hilarious "Taki's Top Drawer" column started me thinking how nice it would be if everybody were caught at least once committing a crime, to be sentenced forthwith to community service. Would do us all good, no doubt.

MUGGER could be assigned to educate seniors in Florida on how to navigate butterfly ballots. Taki could be a bowtied bathroom attendant at the Rainbow Room. Alexander Cockburn, well, he could help local marijuana farmers clear those pesky beaver dams in Northern California.

As for the rest of us, we would have to read our favorite New York Press columns aloud on street corners, or sweep subway trains of every last discarded newspaper.

Ken Wiland, Manhattan

Your Father's a Dick, Rhonda

MUGGER: I agree with your latest column most heartily. My husband and I are both 50 years old and until 1992 were registered Democrats. Through the grace of God and a reliance on our common sense, we refused to back candidates like Clinton or Gore and changed our party affiliation.

We feel our party left us. It has either gone downhill ever since, or we have finally had our eyes opened. The subversion of the law we have seen over the last several years has been awe-inspiring.

Also, I cannot condone the actions of the race-dividing Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. My own father has refused to speak to me since the election because I said I could not believe how, after the past eight years, the people of New York would be so stupid as to send a witch like Hillary Clinton to Washington as a senator. What's up with that?

I enjoy your column very much and hope it continues for many more years. Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Rhonda Robinson, via Internet

A Homeric-Quality Extended Metaphor

MUGGER: My first fan letter; I'm 45. You are on top of your game. You hit for the cycle nearly every week. Today's column was in DiMaggio's class. Keep hitting them where it hurts.

Charles Quinn, Oxford, MS

Eaten Raw

In his review of overgenerous sushi restaurants ("Food," 12/6), James Morrow gratuitously notes The New York Times' aversion to SUVs and claims the paper "would probably rather see us all riding around in the glorified golf carts that clog the boulevards of Paris." Yet I wonder how much more clogged Paris boulevards would be if its citizens instead drove huge, gas-guzzling, heavily polluting sport-utility vehicles.

Secondly, Morrow's defense of oversized slices of sushi fish was weak. The fact is, sushi is finger (or chopstick) food; as a practical matter, it's best enjoyed in one bite. You can't do that when you have a slab of fish 5 inches long. Also, sushi is all about the right proportion of fish to rice. If you have a big slice of fish and a little wad of rice, it just isn't as good. Contrary to Mr. Morrow's America First theory of culinary discernment, there is a reason the Japanese have been making sushi the same way for hundreds of years: it works.

Seth Liebling, Manhattan

Crips and Bloods

If there is any justice in the world?and there seems to be less each day?Armond White's valorous critique of Unbreakable ("Film," 12/6) will be read 50 years from now.

But let me add a footnote to history: while White correctly articulates the film's racism, he overlooks the film's use of disability, one of Hollywood's favorite and most revealing tricks. Mainstream films in need of scary villains have used the "crippled body, crippled mind" construct for a long time now, but Shyamalan takes it to a new, even more insidious place. By making Samuel Jackson's character actively seek out a hero with an indestructible body, Shyamalan frames disability as a personal pathology, rather than a shameful social construct. Society sees the disabled person as "other," alienating him and excluding him from larger social participation; Shyamalan would have us think that disabled people actually need us to see them as "other" in order to make them complete.

Shyamalan isn't alone in denying the reality of the body: The Matrix is about a young man who learns he has special powers; the Harry Potter novels are about a boy who learns he has special powers; now we have Unbreakable, about an adult man who learns he has special powers. All are fantasies about physical supremacy and isolation, and succeed by asserting that social responsibility doesn't exist or, if it does, can and should be transcended by recognizing and embracing one's own privilege. We live an age when the dominant culture responds most strongly to films that confirm their own solipsistic fantasies. In his quixotic quest for justice, Armond White reminds us that narrative's greatest gift is that it teaches us to imagine and, therefore, to empathize.

In a world without moral entertainment, at least we still have moral criticism.

Christopher Shinn, Manhattan

The Color Purple

Armond White's 12/6 review of Unbreakable is, doubtless, the most absurd piece of film criticism I've read in ages. White spends almost as many column inches denouncing fans of M. Night Shyamalan's latest opus as he does denouncing the film itself. The film, he says, is obviously racist, and so, too, must be we who are blind to its racism.

A far more likely possibility, however, is that Unbreakable isn't racist, and that the film's supposed racism is simply the product of White's delusional imagination.

White misreads the film from beginning to end. A typical example is when he writes about actor Samuel L. Jackson's wardrobe, which White regards, somehow, as evoking homosexual stereotypes. Of course, what Jackson's wardrobe actually evokes is the over-the-top dress of comic book villains. Jackson's character, Elijah, after all, thinks he is the embodiment of a comic-book-style criminal mastermind, a la the Joker or Lex Luthor, both of whom, like Elijah, favor outlandish costumes of a mostly purple hue.

Apparently, White believes African-American actors can never play villains without contributing to some blacks-as-evil stereotype. It's attitudes such as White's that prevent African-American actors from getting the best parts in Hollywood, for, as everyone knows, the bad guys are always the most interesting characters.

Franklin Harris, Athens, AL

Gassy Noll

Armond White: Lighten up. If you really think that M. Night Shyamalan is a racist, then you are living in a very bizarre alternate universe. And as for comic books being an adolescent indulgence, there are many intelligent people, including Pulitzer Prize winner Art Spiegelman, who would disagree with your assessment of that particularly unique art form.

John Noll, via Internet

Upon This Rock...

Very nice of you to find room in your paper for such an earnest exposition on Christian rock (Robert Stacy McCain, "Opinion," 12/6). I felt like I was getting a high school show-and-tell report by the kid from the Christian college down the road, who always wears a tie to school and hunches over a little whenever anyone mentions beer or girls.

But have you ever tried to actually listen to the stuff? I can usually identify Christian pop without even hearing the lyrics, by the straitjacketed rhythms (even in the r&b) and the weird soullessness; it sounds exactly like the music they play in commercials, except with less sense of purpose. The world is full of great, transcendent religious music (Mahalia Jackson, Handel, Van Morrison, blah blah blah). Christian rock and pop is softcore porn for evangelicals; it's only convincing if you've never had the real thing.

Jesse Fox Mayshark, Knoxville

Be More Explicit

In his "Opinion" piece, Robert Stacy McCain writes: "The Christian message in CCM is sometimes so subtle as to be nearly invisible."

This is territory worth mining. The nearly invisible has always been central to Christianity, and not just in the form McCain describes but in its obverse, inverse and almost every other kind of verse as well. A random browse through the local record store will reveal secular songs coded for the faithful ("Kiss Me"), religious songs coded for atheists ("Jesus Christ Superstar"), ecumenical songs written under the cover of joy ("All You Need Is Love")... The variations are practically endless.

In the land of double meanings, what constitutes indivisible faith? Nothing apparently, except for the prayer of that un-churchy soul whose intentions were good: Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood.

David Lindsay, Manhattan

Soup Bones

Nobody has said anything really new and interesting about the election for the past 10 days or so, or at least it certainly feels that way ("e-MUGGER," 12/7). This never happened even during the impeachment. The pundits seem to be worn out.

First of all, it's over for Christ's sake. The Florida election results were certified days ago. Why is the media so conditioned to react to the Democrats' propaganda corps? Every silly pronouncement of theirs is taken so seriously. Witness the flap over the "DemocRATS" ad.

The most recent example was the Seminole County ballot application lawsuit. Now there's a frivolous lawsuit if there ever was one. Yet even intelligent Republicans spent a few moments worrying about the outcome. Has everyone gone mad?

Gore lost. He's lost several times by now. It's up to him whether or not to concede; in the meantime, why don't we go on to more important things, like Madonna's marriage? Just let Gore rant and rave by himself for a while. He's going to get stomped by the Florida legislature and the U.S. Supreme Court. It's just not news anymore.

Yet so many people don't seem to get the message. We need something massive to end this thing with authority. Hopefully the Supreme Court will come down hard on Gore. That should be difficult to ignore?but who knows, the Democrats are tenacious, and as long as they go on spinning, the media takes their crap seriously.

Gore's performance in the past few weeks should convince anyone how dangerous it would be to have this guy in the Oval Office: the lying, the weaseling, the lawyering, the misrepresentation of facts (standard practice for Democrats), the deliberate win-at-all-costs behavior, the unprecedented selfishness. One typical example: he claimed the Democrats were prevented from amending Democratic absentee ballot applications in Seminole County. A complete fabrication: there was nothing to amend. Republican absentee ballot applications had omitted voter registration numbers, and these were added by hand. That was it. Gore deliberately lied and misrepresented the case. And, typically, it was a transparent lie that insults people's intelligence.

Is this who you want as president? It's a disgrace that he's even in the running.

Joe Rodrigue, New Haven

Red Menace

Taki writes in the 12/6 "Top Drawer": "The American people deserve much better. Most of this great country is overwhelmingly for Bush. Just look at the map. Most of it is red..."

Yes, Dum-Dum. But acres of land and stretches of highway and even furry woodland creatures (treehugging liberals, all) don't vote. People do.

Think now. Really hard. You have to bend your mind around the rather complex idea that a lot of people live in our country's highly populated areas. Give it a minute, you'll figure it out. Okay, now squint?maybe that'll help.

And this is exactly what the American people "deserve." Who else is to blame? The Welsh? Careful, Taki. This sort of mewling victimspeak is supposed to come from the left.

Robert Casey Jr., Manhattan

Supermax

First, let me disclose that I work at Rikers in the women's facility and am a social worker/therapist. I hear similar stories from my women?however, had Max Patel ("You're Under Arrest: My First Night in Jail," 11/29) had a prior record, his story would have ended differently, especially if he were a member of a minority. My women are picked up in similar circumstances; however, their Legal Aid lawyers advise them that because they have prior records, they should plead guilty. After all, it is better to take a year in jail than to "blow trial" and get two to four years. I have had women picked up in a "sweep" where everyone on a block or coming out of an apartment building is arrested, held and charged, evidence be damned.

Let me also state that I am no bleeding heart, and I lay into my patients and confront them when they commit crimes and blame others. One inmate related how she was entrapped by a transit cop because he was pretending to be "out of it" and rested against a wall with his necklace showing. She grabbed it, got arrested and complained about entrapment. So I do see my share of "injustice collectors."

I also was disappointed that Mr. Patel's experience did not teach him to look upon those arrested with a different eye. After all, at that stage of the system?police car, precinct house?there is no guilt (supposedly) implied. I did not detect one iota of recognition that people who are picked up should not automatically be seen as the scum of the earth (though there are those also). He was careful to distance himself from those who were dirty, from those who spoke in an uncouth way?he did not recognize their humanity.

Also, I commend Mr. Patel for recognizing the difficulty of supporting oneself and maintaining an apartment, and I would like to add that this is why many (not all) sell drugs.

Thanks for providing a forum.

Joan K. Lipsey, Manhattan

Nail Caesar

Pious, precious Bronx lunatic Marie Caesar once again freed herself from her cats and plaster saints long enough to heed the whispering of her umbrella stand, alerting her to the then-latest issue of New York Press?which happened to contain my "curious" letter concerning House Dipshit MUGGER ("The Mail," 11/22). She attributes ("The Mail," 12/6) my use of the words "princess" and "pussy" to describe the Aristotle of Huntington to some "problem" I have with women?the problem being misogyny, no doubt?and closes by retorting that, far from deserving denigration, "pussy has nine lives."

That last part is, naturally, incomprehensible?as must any snippets of the ongoing colloquy between her and her toaster be to an outsider?while the first part is stupid. Used as an insult, "pussy" denotes those negative qualities opposite to the positive ones contained in the idea of manliness. No worthwhile man or woman wants to be a pussy, just as no worthwhile man or woman wants to be a dick. All worthwhile men and women, meanwhile, are pleased and proud when told that they possess that special set of virtues known as "balls."

As for "princess," the term is universally understood to refer to those ruined, crumpled souls?spoiled women?who are capable of nothing in life except expecting and demanding what they want and crying when they can't have it. When MUGGER weeps to his readers about how awful Team Gore are, and how we should hate-hate-hate them, he's no different from a pouting, crying, raging, foot-stamping girlfriend trying to conduce us to her side. To deny the usefulness of the term is to deny the existence of its real-life exemplars, which is willfully dumb.

MUGGER is so clearly being both p and p about the election that there really are no better terms to describe him. Surely even Caesar's dishrack knows this and would tell her, if only she'd forgive it for allowing that tea cup to break three years ago.

Damon Liston, Manhattan

Celluloid Heroes, Digital Men

It's good to see Matt Zoller Seitz ("Film," 12/6) attack that horrible New York Times article, "The Movies' Digital Future Is in Sight and it Works." Everyone interviewed kept talking about the savings digital "cinema" will bring the movie industry, but no one told me if this savings will reduce my ticket price. Did Ben Affleck's Bounce cost only five dollars in Manhattan if you saw it on videotape instead of film?

Affleck can mouth off about how expensive film is, but hasn't the price of Affleck gone out of control? What has the highest cost in a movie's budget: Kodak, DuArt film processing or Ben Affleck? Affleck costs even more today than seven years ago. Movie stars make major movie budgets go out of control, not film stock. When are we going to replace Ben Affleck with a cheaper, newer and more efficient actor?

It was so appropriate to witness Ben Affleck tossing film cans into the garbage, since that's what I've wanted to do to a majority of his films.

Joe Corey, Raleigh, NC

"Some Real Giants Like Steve Dunleavy"

MUGGER: For the life of me, I cannot understand your tirades against the New York Post (12/6). As a conservative, I find the daily online version to be a refreshing blend of insight and the truth, and an antidote to such dreck as The New York Times, The Washington Post and other Pravda wannabes. Sure, the Post, like all papers, has some crummy writers such as Jack Newfield, but they also have some real giants like Steve Dunleavy.

Whenever I come across a vendor who knocks the competition, I retreat in horror. I never do business with someone who has nothing but nasty things to say about the other guy. Lifting yourself up by putting others down rates a big fat zero in my book.

You have some good things to say, but lay off the Post. Abusing it makes you look cheap, silly and cowardly.

Al Martin, Portland, OR

Bum's Rush

MUGGER: I've seen some biased writing in my time, but your column could have been done by a Rush Limbaugh clone, and no bigger idiot or liar ever existed than Limbaugh.

H.J. Sanner, Des Arc, AR

As They Say in Scottish Whorehouses

MUGGER: I've read your columns and applaud you. I am hopeful that once this election mess is resolved, citizens will take their voting more seriously, studying the philosophy of each party, evaluating their approaches to the public and concluding that we as citizens need to be more responsible and involved in the process. I've watched Klock, the lawyer for Katherine Harris, and Richard, the lawyer for Bush, and am amazed at how thorough and gentlemanly they are in their court fight. I've realized, watching this nightmare unfold, that if the Florida court had not changed the rules, we might not be in this dilemma in the first place.

Bonnie Kuntz, Otis, CO

Playas, Pimps and Whores

MUGGER: It was amusing to read your complaints (11/29) about the place where you stayed in Playa del Carmen over Thanksgiving. My wife and I were at the Moon Palace, which is just north of where you were at the same time. The food was superb, the room was great (they are all the same) and the service was truly excellent. I heartily recommend Moon Palace or Moon Palace Sunrise to you when you return to Cancun. I know we'll be back.

Political note: I think you are dead wrong. John McCain would have handily beat Al Gore for two reasons. One, McCain would have pulled a lot more independents and crossover Democrats and, two, he would most likely have selected a pro-choice runningmate like Tom Ridge instead of a competent dinosaur like Richard Cheney.

Steve Hume, Canton, MI

Russ Smith replies: I'll defer to Steve on hotel choices in Playa del Carmen and give my travel agent a whack. On McCain, however, I strongly disagree. Part of the reason McCain did so well in the primaries was that the early states allowed members of either party to vote. Therefore, McCain got a lot of Democratic votes in Michigan from people who ultimately went for Gore in the fall. Also, McCain's comet was relatively brief. A besotted media never dug for any dirt on him, but would have once they reverted to their natural pro-Gore stance. Additionally, McCain was such a loose cannon that at any point in the campaign he could've made a gaffe 10 times more damaging than Bush's "subliminable." Like talking about gooks or coons.

 

Protein Diet

MUGGER: I've been reading your paper ever since I moved to New York five years ago. As a Clinton/Gore-hating Democrat, I've found that of all the things that I read from week to week, your column has been the only one that I eagerly anticipate. I particularly like your skewing of journalists in general, and the Times in particular. That paper's biased and amateurish coverage before, and especially after, the elections just shows that the whole paper has now sunk to the level of its clueless fashion and pop culture reporting. Its op-ed pages, filled with smug jesters, halfwits and scolds, are just plain tiresome.

Also, I really like the new slimmed-down New York Press. I especially like Cockburn, Caldwell, "Taki's Top Drawer," "Maakies." I don't really go for "Slackjaw" and I generally don't read the film, theater or food sections. Kaz's "Underworld" is no good.

David Hill, Bronx

Hohner Thy Father

I am so buoyed to see that Bob Riedel's piece on Robert Bonfiglio ("Music," 11/8) made mention of my father, the late harmonica virtuoso, John Sebastian (not to be confused with my brother, John B. Sebastian).

I grew up with him practicing in the next room and, as a son and musician, was immensely inspired by him. He was called "The Paganini of the Harmonica," but there was so much more to him. He graduated with honors from Haverford, majoring in political science, and was a highly educated and charismatic man. He really did act as a worldwide spokesman for the instrument, concertizing all over the world?China, Peru, Alaska, Japan?in a time when travel was more daunting then today.

He took such joy at the gains achieved in seeing the harmonica accepted in serious music. He adapted works by Debussy, Mozart and Bartok and concerti by Villa-Lobos and Tcherepnin were commissioned specifically for him. Because Columbia Masterworks pretty much dropped the ball, one can't find his albums on CD, and they are equally rare on vinyl. I'm proud to know that, nonetheless, his work continues to be emulated by artists such as Bonfiglio and harmonicists everywhere.

Mark Sebastian, Los Angeles