YET SOMEWHAT IRRITATING Hello? I called this number in reference to ...

RITATING

Hello? I called this number in reference to leaving an editorial for the New York Press. My name is Frank and my editorial is that print is too small in most of the articles and the advertisements in the paper, which is hard to read and the colors are questionable. I'm taking a training course in computers and I find this paper somewhat enjoyable yet somewhat irritating.

Frank, via telephony

LIGHTNING STRIKES

My Wednesday post-work ritual is to sit down in my basement apartment, read New York Press and drink myself into a stupor. Thank you for your good work ["Best Campaign Poster, Sept. 28]. You are smart folks and probably know the Rasiej poster is based on an FDR socialist program logo, not on Stalin's or Hitler's posters. When I was younger I used to think that the FDR poster was something they posted around dams warning you not to swim during thunderstorms. I was such a jerk.

Greg Midgette, via email

WHO THE FUCK CARES?

The quality of writing in New York Press has divebombed since the new editors took over. I see I'm not the only one writing with this comment. Do you people get that people aren't so much complaining about your choice of content, but your utter lack of skill in delivering it? Your headlines run the gamut from flat and boring to nonsensical. The articles are riddled with errors. ("Counterfeit Detection" is a lame replacement for News Hole, in name, content and look. Why fix it if it wasn't broken?) I don't know how you got this job, but I suspect it had little to do with qualifications.

And are you canning the inimitable Judy McGuire? As for your dismissal of Neil Swaab, what are you thinking? That demented bear is part of the heart and soul of New York Press. But wait, New York Press seems to have lost both heart and soul, so who the fuck cares?

Samuel Higgs, Port Huron, Michigan

LAUGHABLE

While José Ralat Maldonado's story on the current meltdown at SuicideGirls.com does a nice job at bringing the latest developments to light, his repeated insinuations (four times over a short article) that somehow he's writing the first critical story about SG is laughable [Pin-Up or Shut Up, Oct. 5]. While the entire punk porn phenomenon has largely gotten a pass by both the mainstream and alternative press, Punk Planet wrote a 12-page cover story about the burgeoning T&A-for-punks movement that asks many of the same questions (and a few dozen more) Maldonado congratulates himself for asking now-except we did it three years ago. You're a little late to the party, folks, but there's plenty of room in the pool.

Daniel Sinker, Publisher, Punk Planet

NOT OBVIOUS ENOUGH

When I saw your SuicideGirls cover, I knew exactly what your article was going to cover. But when I actually read the article, I was surprised to discover that it wasn't the obvious article is should have been.

Recently, SuicideGirls has been pressured to remove certain pictures of a violent nature. Who is pressuring them? The FBI is actually forcing the site to remove pictures or face criminal prosecution. ]

Instead of this attack on our beloved pornography, you instead present a banal article about how Suicide Girls has somehow sold out.

Why not focus on the G-men and their tyrannical ways, rather than on some nonsense about how a website with pictures of naked girls isn't as hip as it claims to be?

C'mon, guys, we expect better than this.

Dakota Bester, Brooklyn

VERDANT ILLUSIONS

Say it ain't so! Although I knew that the New Hipster Porn thing was already going the way of the Tamagotchi, I still half-heartedly clung to the verdant illusion of the SuicideGirls.

Now you can finally gawk at, in their natural, unabashed splendor, the pasty-skinned, tattooed and pierced alternative white girls that you always wanted to photograph (and hopefully fuck) way back in art school but were too busy slobbering over stupid, unrealistic supermodels to appreciate. Courtesy of the ladies themselves, even!) Alas, this also turns out to be a sham, created and orchestrated yet again by The Man after the almighty dollar, instead of any "pure" statement of artistic and sexual freedom thru the beauty of "imperfect" bodies.

Ah, well. At least I didn't pay to subscribe to that site and found plenty of downloadable SG pics off the 'net, gratis. I did get the book, though, and that's fine by me. Now, if only those psuedo-hipster porn American Apparel ads don't sell out... Oh wait, that joint's owned by a sexist, opportunistic White male too, right?

Anthony Watson, via email

CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE MENTALLY ILL

Without Matt Taibbi your paper is like chicken soup without the chicken and without the soup.

Marie Ceasar, New York City Department of Mental Health

THE CAMPAIGN BEGINS

I read on Neil Swaab's website that you're discontinuing the Mr. Wiggles strip. Please don't! It's the only part of the paper that I read!

Margaret Miller, Brooklyn

A PERSONAL FAVORITE

I wanted to drop you a note to tell you that I am sorry to hear that New York Press will not be running Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles anymore. Normally, I don't get involved with what comics newspapers print or don't print. However, Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles is a personal favorite of mine and many others. Based on my experiences with MoCCA, I have found that Neil's work attracts many people to your paper.

I hope you will reconsider your decision.

Lawrence Klein, Esq., Chairman, Museum of Comic and Cartoon ArtÊ

IT MADE HIS DAY

I am so sorry that you are not continuing Mr. Wiggles. The strip always made my day. I hope that you will reconsider.

Terrance Lindall, President, Williamsburg Art & Historical Center

A TERRIBLE DECISION

New York Press has made a terrible decision in terminating the comic Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles. I hope that you reconsider and bring it back. It has always been one of my favorite features of NY Press.

Phil Jackson, via email

CACHET AND FLAVOR

I am writing on behalf of Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles.

It would be a terrible thing for NY Press to lose it!

Over the years many of us have become devoted fans of Neil Swaab's colorful and irreverent comic strip. In fact my wife and I recently purchased one of his original strips.

Understandably there is always some reshuffling when a new editorial team takes over, but please don't cut Mr. Wiggles. Otherwise New York will be a lot less funny.

He takes up only a small space in your newspaper yet gives it such cachet and flavor. I truly hope you will reconsider.

William A Hosie Jr., Manhattan

ORIGINAL AND FUNNY

Please keep Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles! I love that cartoon. It is one of the most original and funny strips I have ever read. I hope you will consider keeping it.

Rob Goodman, via email

GRAYING OUT

I am very sorry to hear you are dropping Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles. This is a highly unusual, caustic and in-your-face strip that helps give character to your publication.Please don't gray yourself out and become unrecognizable from the rest. Keep that strip!

Terry Nantier, via email

REASONLESS

I was really disappointed to hear today that NY Press is discontinuing its publication of Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles. This comic is one of the only reasons I read the Press, and, if discontinued, I'll no longer have a reason to read your publication. I'm sure many others share this sentiment, as Mr. Wiggles is one of the only funny comics left in circulation.

I really hope you'll reconsider this decision.

Stone Hansard, via email

A PLEA

It has just come to my attention that you will no longer be printing Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles. I hope you guys will bring the strip back as it was by far the best one.

The comics in your paper just seem to keep getting worse. Please don't get rid of the ones that are actually good.I look forward each week to a good laugh from Neil Swaab, many times even picking up your paper specifically for the strip.Please keep it in your paper.

Jordan

A LITTLE LESS EDGY AND LOVEABLE

I was upset to read that you're cancelling Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles.ÊI know the strip is sick and wrong and weird.... and that's exactly why I love it. It makes me laugh in all the wrong ways (and often enough, in all the right ways). Your removal of it from your pages makes the NY Press a little less edgy and a little less loveable. Ê

Christine Ehren, via email

Where Is The

I am a longtime NY Press reader. One of the things I love most about your paper is the comic, "Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles." The comic violates almost every rule of "political correctness" there is. This is a good thing, and one that goes hand in hand with the attitude of your paper. By getting rid of this cartoon, I can't help but wonder if you're not also moving away from the attitude that set your publication from papers like the Daily News and the Voice. If this is the case, I will most likely stop reading. This city already has plenty of P.C. papers.

J.J. Connelly, via email

WHAT A THREAT

Word around town is that Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles is being canceled.

That strip has been a staple part of my week since it started running.

I sometimes enjoy the articles in New York Press but the main reason I pick it up is for Wiggles.

If it wasn't for that strip, I would have stopped reading you paper back when you lost the Maakies. Please if you change your mind about canceling this beloved strip I will continue to pick up your paper weekly and give patronage to your advertisers. If you lose Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles I will surely be forced to boycott your paper.

Seriously, that strip is one of the best things your paper has going for it.

James Campbell, via email

SHOCKED

I have been picking up NY Press for the past few years, due mostly to Mr. Wiggles by Neil Swaab. I believe it is one of the strongest parts of the paper and one of the main reasons I pick it up. So I was shocked to hear that the NY Press has recently decided to discontinue the comic. I truly believe this is a mistake for your paper. I hope that you will reconsider the decision.

Jeff Faerber, via email

HED

Please say it isn't so.

Someone told me that NY Press is thinking about discontinuing Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles. Please please please keep running it! It's hilarious-it's the first thing I turn to when I open up the paper.

That kind of snarkiness, that dark but familiar sense of humor, is all too rare these days.

We'll miss it so.

Julie Blattberg, Manhattan

HOW WILL HE LIVE?

I think you are making a major mistake in deciding to stop running Neil Swaab's "Rehabilitation of Mr Wiggles" series. It's a unique and entertaining comic series with an equally unique but very present fanbase. Swaab is also a very creative author and illustrator who had entertained thousands for years. He also depends on papers running his work to live and create more work. So, as a fan of the comic and the paper, I ask you to reconsider your decision.

Jason Alte, via email

TRULY SADDENED

I am truly saddened to hear the news that you will not be publishing Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggle comic strips any longer.In the past few years you guys have lost a lot of your good comics and Mr. Wiggles was the last great one. I would really hate to see your paper cut such a great comic. I hope you will reconsider. Please reconsider.Don't become just another Metro or AM New York.

Thomas Lag, via email

A SUGGESTION FOR THE VOICE

I am an art director, graphic designer, illustrator and faculty member at Parsons School of Design.

I have just learned that New York Press has decided to quit running Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles.

This is very upsetting to me as Swaab's comic strip is without question the best in New York.

It is also the only reason i have been picking up your newspaper for the last few years.

I think you have made a very bad decision and you will regret this move.

Please reconsider and return Mr. Wiggles to your pages.

I will be writing the Village Voice to suggest they have the wisdom to pick up Mr. Wiggles.

Frank Olinsky, via email

HOPE AND PRAY

I would hate to see NY Press lose Mr. Wiggles since I have become a devoted fan of Neil Swaab's outrageous and darkly funny comic strip.

There is really nothing like it and it is always the first thing I read every week in the NY Press. And with his newly published book, 'Mr. Wiggles' should even gain more in popularity. You should be proud and give him your support. I hope and pray that you will reconsider.

Christin Couture, Manhattan

IN WHICH WE FIND RELIGION

For years it seemed that New York Press played the alt-weekly second fiddle to the Village Voice in New York. With Russ Smith's empty columns that did nothing but smugly name call and stories that-like Seinfeld-were about nothing, there seemed to be little reason to ever pick up an issue of NY Press.

But I kept reading. Because Neil Swaab's comic, "Rehabilitating Mr. Wiggles" is one of the funniest strips out there.

Tonight I have heard that your paper will no longer be carrying Swaab's comic. I'm sure you have a good reason. Perhaps you have all found religion of some sort, and have decided it be better that NY Press appeal to church moms and the censors and all those who hate the seven words you can't say on TV. Maybe because Swaab's last volume was edited by Ted Rall, you feel he is too good for the paper.

Whatever your reason, the returns from this editorial decision will hurt your paper, as I am sure you will loose a good chunk of readers who kept reading your weekly, which seems to be constantly thinning in content and quality. This, for me, has been the final blow.

Unless, of course, you reconsider your decision to put Swaab's comic back where it belongs, in which case you will re-earn my-and many other New Yorkers-reading eyes.

Ari Paul, Manhattan

NOT THE ONLY ONE

I hope that recent news of NY Press getting rid of "Rehabilitating Mr Wiggles" is not true! That is the number one reason I and all my friends pick up your paper every week. Of course we take the time to check out the articles afterward, but the very first thing we do is read that hilarious comic. I've even cut a few out of your paper to put up on my refrigerator. Because of that excellent comic and the opinions you are not afraid to print, I've gotten a lot of my college friends to stop reading the Voice and start reading your paper. I don't think NY Press will be the same without the wonderful work of Neil Swaab. If this comic is not part of the contents, I won't pick up your paper anymore and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Please bring back Mr. Wiggles!

Annette Santiago, Woodside

AZI, HARRY AND JON ALL SAY TIM MARCHMAN IS A CRACKPOT!, OR, A COLLECTION OF FACTS

FACT:

Tim Marchman called CXB a "crackpot".

FACT:

Every single person Tim knows, said TIM was the moron lunatic and that CXB was completely sane and correct and "brilliant".

(Just today, I got a phone call from a stranger who called me a "genius"! Even my opponent's campaign manager called me "brilliant", Tim! Thousands of my enemies have called me "brilliant", Tim! Even NYPress has given me more awards than they've given any other human in history! And ALL those awards came from people I had attacked and criticized! (Meaning the OPPOSITE of the cronyism that helps you get your jobs in lieu of talent or merit!)

(No wonder you're scared to death of publicly debating me!)

FACT:

Tim said that making the NYPD free would be insane and impossible.

(oops! Tim is so clinically insane he doesn't know the NYPD is ALREADY socialized! 100% of humans think Tim is a super-moron!) (Fact: even Tim, when not lying, admits he's a total psycho who has no grasp on reality!

The guy thinks we get a monthly bill for the NYPD and the FDNY!!

NO HUMAN ON EARTH AGREES WITH YOU TIM! YOU'RE LEGALLY INSANE!

FACT:

Tim thinks politicians should be allowed to lie as often as they like!

Azi, Harry, and Leaf ALL agree with CXB that that's INSANE!

FACT: CXB challenged nutjob Tim Marchman to a public debate!

Tim pulled a Bush /Hitler / Bloomberg and REFUSED TO DEBATE!

When asked to explain his insanity, TIM pulled a KEN LAY / Mark McGuire and PLED THE FIFTH, thinking no one would see thru his EVASIONS and DODGING!

(Tim, a complete insane maniac who will make NYPress even more boring than it is already, thinks everyone believes Ken Lay did nothing wrong and THAT's why he refused to answer tough questions!)

(FACT: NYPress took over 10 years to break even. CXB's projects all broke even within days, and his mayoral candidacy broke ALL RECORDS for fiscal intelligence and efficiency. When asked about this, Marchman said "I don't have to explain my insanity to you!!!!" and hung up, just like a third-rate politician!) (No wonder Tim thinks Rudy and Tax Hike Mike are the messiah!)

FACT:

Tim Marchman said that Freddy Ferrer is one of the smartest candidates he's ever seen and an incredibly honest candidate!!!

YOU ARE INSANE, TIM, and should probably see a doctor.

They may have meds to help you. (I'd tell you to just end your pointless life, but I'm not certain yet that I can't help bring you back to reality and convince you that your idol, Ferrer is actually the Tim Marchman of the Mayor's race.)

(He's a hack promoted by cronyism too!)

FACT:

TIM MARCHMAN said that outlawing hidden fees (in real estate deals, rent-a-cars and so on) is "CRAZY".

Azi, Harry, and Leaf ALL said outlawing hidden fees is smart and good.

HEY TIM? I'LL GIVE YOU $100 CASH IF YOU CAN FIND ONE PERSON WHO SAYS YOU'RE NOT INSANE AND THAT I AM.

$100.

The catch, is that they have to say this PUBLICLY in a forum with me (b/c I can then prove in seconds whether they're lying or not).

[Tim, sensing he's insane, pretends he didn't see this challenge and is very afraid to accept it!]

(Let's see if I can read your tiny mind, Tim!) (I say you won't debate me publicly, even after I proved you were a total whack job who thinks stadiums that sit empty 90% of the year are economic engines!! YOU ARE CRAZY AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS AGREE WITH ME, and your refusal to debate CONFIRMS that even you don't think you can save face!)

WATCH THIS, TIM? I bet you $200 that you and Harry FAIL to turn NYPress around, both with weak advertising and lame-ass content and that in one year, NYPress will still be unread by 99% of NYC who just walk past stacks of your paper.

AREN'T YOU CONFIDENT IN YOUR "SKILLS" TIM?

If you have no confidence and can back up NOTHING you do, why would anyone else?

(If not for cronyism, you wouldn't even be working at

NYPress!)

(You should be the next head of FEMA, you moron!)

YOU ARE NOT FOOLING ANYONE, TIM.

Everyone knows that "no comment" means "I'm busted!"

FACT:

Tim thinks police and lawyers should be allowed to break any laws they want!

TIM! THAT'S INSANE AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS AGREE WITH ME!

FACT:

Tim thinks that all businesses should be allowed to lie to their customers whenever they feel like it!

EVERYONE AGREES WITH ME THAT YOU'RE INSANE, TIM!

FACT:

Tim thinks it is smart that license plates are all random numbers to make it almost impossible for witnesses in drive bys or hit and runs to remember the plates!

EVERYONE AGREES WITH ME THAT THAT'S INSANE, TIM!

And I know that, just like your idol Dubya, you'll say I'm wrong and that Azi, Harry, and Leaf DON'T agree with me that the NYPD is free, so again, I CHALLENGE YOU TO A PUBLIC DEBATE.

If this was 200 years ago, you'd chicken out of duel, which is an ADMISSION that you have no confidence in your abilities.

FACT:

Tim Marchman thinks little people should have to PAY for public toilets, but politicians shouldn't!

AZI, HARRY, and LEAF (along with the rest of NYPress) think TIM IS A FIRST CLASS NUTJOB AND MORON!

FACT:

Tim thinks politicians should be able to break their campaign promises any time they feel like it!

AZI, HARRY, and LEAF think Tim is a fucking RETARD! PROVE ME WRONG, TIM!

DEBATE ME, you right wing COWARD.

You're identical to Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh: insane two-faced LIARS!

FACT:

Tim said taxpayers SHOULD pay the lawsuits when Bloomberg breaks the law and that Bloomberg should not be punished or held financially liable!

TIM IS SO INSANE HE PAYS FOR MADISON SQUARE GARDEN'S ELECTRICITY BILL (via an anonymous tax on his Con Ed bill) AND THINKS THAT MAKES SENSE!

MILLIONAIRES SHOULDN'T PAY THEIR BILLS!

THE POOR SHOULD PAY MILLIONAIRES' BILLS!

TIM!!

EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE INSANE!!

And your refusal to debate confirms that YOU AGREE!

(If you thought I was wrong, you'd relish the chance to debate me and humiliate me publicly. But instead, you're as big a coward as Bush and Bloomberg and you'll take the LAZY, COWARDLY tactic of hiding behind NYPress to debate me.)

REMEMBER: IF YOU DON'T PUBLICLY DEBATE ME, YOU AUTOMATICALLY ADMIT THAT I AM THE OPPOSITE OF A CRACKPOT, B/C I READ YOUR MIND FLAWLESSLY, AND EVERYONE IS AN EYEWITNESS!

FACT:

Tim thinks Bernie Kerik never broke any laws!

FACT:

Tim thinks it is impossible to raze the Twin Towers

with two jet airliners and that no one could ever fly

planes into the buildings!

BRING IT ON, TIM!

BECAUSE THERE ISN'T ONE HUMAN WHO AGREES WITH YOU!

I will even prove publicly that your OWN FAMILY think you are totally insane.

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF, TIM?

(Afraid I'll whip out a photo of 9/11 and end the debate in the first 3 seconds?)

TIM!!!

GET A GRIP!

9/11 wasn't a CGI trick!

The Towers are really gone!

No wonder you needed cronyism to get your job!

LET'S SEE IF YOU ARE AFRAID TO DEBATE ME PUBLICLY, PSYCHO.

Because Azi, Harry, and Leaf don't have the balls to tell you to your face that they think you're a super-moron.

And the rest of us will sit back and see how you guys turn around NYPress.

So far, 100% of people agree with me that Harry has NO VISION. (More Poetry doesn't count, numbnuts.)

CXB, Manhattan

JWB, BABY

Christian art? I didn't know there was such a thing. ("Indiana's Horny Adolescent Fantasy," 10/5) Oh, oh yeah, the WWJD bracelets. I'm thinking about nailing my military uniform to a cross, slinging real blood on it (my own if I can find a doc to drain me), and topping it off with a crown of barbed wire. Does that count? Somebody steal my idea, no shit, it would be beautiful. Seriously, somebody else do it, that shit will get me crucified for real down here in the Bible Belt. Incidentally, I don't know what it is I'm trying to say with such a project, but damn it's powerful to look at. Or you could get that nut to sling elephant shit on something again. Just thinking out loud.

Now. God damn it Azi, you keep writing all this local shit ("The Fall of Kings County," 10/5) and us Southerners have no clue. Now, I don't have anything to bitch about this week. I hit a new low last week when I commented about the obviousness of John Kerry being hung, the British being crazy, and Margaret Thatcher's iron drawers. That John Roberts shit is funny, God damn it. I can't believe you guys were not laughing. So, I'm resubmitting it. Now laugh, damn you, laugh!:

As devout a Democrat cult member as I am, I simply can't find out what's wrong with Roberts. I mean, God damn, you've got Teddy up there accusing him of being pro-life and such obvious shit as that. Well, no shit he's pro-life, he's a Republican. In a bizarre twist of irony, all my gay friends are stark raving mad about how cute he is and wondering all about if he wears boxers or briefs. Well, you and I know that the motherfucker wears briefs. He goes to church every Sunday, he never forgets Mother's Day, and he's probably got a mediocre penis. The quintessential Republican without the Newt Gingrich crazy shit. Yet, we have to leave the gay community to their fantasy of him in boxers. (Notice also the small, Al Gore-esque, bald spot he's developing.) My gays all claim that it's because he's a lover, as he would be losing hair at the forehead if he was a thinker. That point, I agree, is debatable. (Someone should investigate Joe Biden to verify that claim.) Yet, my gays are gonna have to realize that the man is wearing briefs and get over it. Finally, my fellow Democrats are gonna have to realize that THERE ISN'T ANYTHING WRONG WITH THIS MOTHERFUCKER... let him alone! He'll be a nice counter weight to old "cock hair on a Coke can" himself Clarence Thomas. If we can jam that turd up their ass we surely can handle Roberts huh? Clarence Thomas... jeez Louise Marty McFly! How did we ever get that one over on them. Clarence Thomas, you lusty fetish bastard, you know we love you!!! Okay, the cock hair on the Coke can was some weird shit, but hey, we're willing to look over it. So yeah, we can look over whatever it is that's wrong with Roberts. Besides, our gays insist on him being around in some capacity as they're stricken and convinced he's the next big gay thing like Cher and Tammy Faye Baker. (Incidentally, I don't know what's wrong with him besides that he's a good boy who isn't cheating on his wife.) Maybe that's what

Teddy so harshly objects to, Roberts doesn't have any vices and therefore wouldn't be good to kick it with at parties and shit. See, we, as Democrat cultists, insist that our nominees and fellow Democrats be fucked up in someway, preferably sexually, if not out right drunkards. Just fucking with you Teddy... we love you, you lusty old bastard! To Roberts: Maybe if you took up smoking or something we could swallow you better. You're just too God damn good for the job. In fact, my argument is that you're overqualified. You're simply too damn good. I think though, once our gays speak out with their support on the basis of his being cute, we'll like you better. You all think I'm shitting you about his growing gay popularity don't you? By golly ask your resident New York City expert and homosexual guru, Carson Kressley. He can confirm that the gays are with him. In fact, Carson will be elected president once the gays take over. So see Democrats, shut up about Roberts and get back to hammering Bush over this Katrina shit, because you're fucking with our gay vote. You better be glad he's not running for president or we'd totally lose our gay vote to the Republicans.

Yeah, I know, the John Roberts shit is over. Damn, they coulda stretched that one out a little longer. I had tons of material for it! It's like being Oscar de la Renta (whoever the fuck that is) and having all this wonderful fabric, yet the styles you're making are last season. Now what the fuck am I gonna do with all this fabric? How about you guys sit down, cut it up, and see if you can salvage some of this last season shit I've made huh? Damn, calling Clarence Thomas "ole cock hair on a Coke can Clarence" is nothing short of genius. Hmmm... I wonder though, can you not say cock? Cock is so much funnier than penis or dick huh? Notice the alliteration... cock hair on a Coke can Clarence! If you say it out loud it just rolls of the tongue like M&M's melt in your mouth. Oh well. I'm over it.

Seriously though, next time write me some shit about Bush, or Hillary's "I wanna be the first woman president" ass. When that shit gets going it's gonna be great fun! Who knows, she might win. Piss, let me sift through this weeks again and

see if I can come up with some smart ass stuff. It's driving my family crazy. Yes, a letter in a New York paper makes you something of a celebrity around here. Jesus I'm sad! Anyway, thanks for publishing my shit. I have all my college professors thinking I'm worth a God damn and letting me get away with bullshit now. Dear god, I may even bring my average up to 3.0. Who woulda thought it? If I can just ever put this damn bottle down. O.K. time to pass out now.

-James Wes Brown, via email