Emulating What Made Barbara So Beloved

BY BETTE DEWING

For once TV talk shows were not about bad people and bad behavior. Refreshingly bipartisan, newscasters were talking about Barbara Bush’s departure from this life at age 92. CNN, typically “on the left,” aired as many heartfelt tributes to the former first lady as did Fox. And I wasn’t sorry TV had been invented.

Ah, but the very next day an acquaintance’s Facebook entry was all about what Barbara Bush had done wrong. OK, so such views need to be heard, but couldn’t this irate critic have waited awhile? And also given a nod to the solid 73-year Bush marriage and acknowledge how that does make for a safer and non-violent society for all? The youngsters who marched for that cause would likely agree and that life is better with intact families and where parents work things out.

And few will argue how working things out and role-model marriages are so needed in high and influential places. Ah, but this column didn’t plan to be so much about that, but Barbara Bush might well have said “It should be!”

Two Bush sons, George and Jeb, appear to have role-model marriages. We don’t hear much about the other two sons and one daughter. Which reminds, “on the left,” nobody has a more stable marriage than the Obamas and lest you forget, Michelle’s widowed mother looked after the first daughters in the White House. She is likely still a vital part of that household. And how we need such role-model connections.

Barbara Bush would surely agree and that when they exist, grandparents and other extended family should not become bit players in their families’ lives. Ah yes, and the problems and conflicts that often divide, must be worked out – worked out. Communication skills should be learned and practiced from pre-kindergarten on to life’s very last class. Yes, these skills exist, Virginia, and I’d vote for most anyone who stressed this kind of literacy - especially the conflict resolution kind.

But more about why Barbara was so generally liked as well as beloved. Hey, longtime parents rejoice that she spoke her mind to her adult sons and adult daughter. obviously believing we never outgrow criticism that is constructive.

And far more must be said how wife Laura’s one-person intervention got George W to stop drinking. A family intervention is not always needed, although so thankfully Betty Ford’s did step in and likely, eventually, to make her the first lady who did the most overall good. Her autobiography, “A Glad Awakening,” should be required reading as intervention is still too often resisted. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

And it was surely Barbara Bush’s appearance too which made her endearing — looking more like her constituents, not like a high fashion model. And I wish Barbara had said more about women still so judged by their appearance which had better be youthful — and yes even sexy, AAUGH.

Ah, but so universally important, who will take care of George H. Walker without Barbara around? We hope George W. and Laura, who live nearby, will and that other sibs and grandkids will share in the care long-distance. Such role model caring could not be more needed — could not be more needed.

Nor could remembering and emulating what made Barbara Bush so universally liked and beloved.

dewingbetter@aol.com